Every quote from The Office season 2, episode 1, in script order. First aired September 20, 2005.
-
Pam and Jim
Dundies! Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2197
-
Everybody
Dundies! Dundies!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2198
-
Michael
Alright, alright, alright, okay. Alright, we'll keep rolling. Okay, this is the fine work award. This goes to Stanley, for all the fine work he did this year.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2199
-
Pam
Fine work! Fine work Stanley!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2200
-
Michael
You know you did.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2201
-
Pam
Here here! Speech, speech, speech, speech
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2202
-
Stanley
Well, well, last year, I got great work, so I don't...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2203
-
Stanley
So, I don't know what to think about this award. But at least I didn't get smelliest bowel movement like Kevin.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2204
-
Michael
And this next award is going out to our own little Pam Beesley...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2205
-
Michael
...I think we all know what award Pam is going to be getting this year.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2206
-
Michael
It is the 'Whitest Sneakers' award! Because she always has the whitest tennis shoes on!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2207
-
Michael
Get on down here! Pam Beesley ladies and gentlemen! Oh, here we go.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2208
-
Pam
I have so many people to thank for this award.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2209
-
Pam
Okay, first off, my Keds. Because I couldn't have done it without them. Thank you. Let's give Michael a round of applause for MC-ing tonight because this is a lot harder than it looks. And also because of Dwight too.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2210
-
Pam
Um, so, finally, I want to thank God. Because God gave me this Dundie.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2211
-
Pam
And, I feel God in this Chili's tonight. WHOOOOOOOO!!!!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2212
-
Michael
Pam Beesley ladies and gentleman. Oh! Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2213
-
Jim
What a great year for the Dundies.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2214
-
Jim
We got to see Ping. And we learned of Michael's true feelings for Ryan. Which was touching. And, we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs. Which for me, has ruined them for life.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2215
-
Jim
What?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2216
-
Pam
Nothing.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2217
-
Jim
Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2218
-
Pam
What?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2219
-
Jim
I don't know, what?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2220
-
Jim
Oh my God! You are so drunk!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2221
-
Jim
Did you get that? Please tell me you got that. This is all going to be on.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2222
-
Dwight
Quick, quick, the woman is having a seizure. Grab her tongue, grab her tongue! It's okay, I'm a sheriff's deputy.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2223
-
Jim
He's a volunteer.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2224
-
Dwight
Don't get into that now. We need something to cushion her head. Throw pillow? A cush-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2225
-
Jim
Dwight come on, come-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2226
-
Dwight
It's okay, I'm going to use my shirt.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2227
-
Pam
Dwight, get off me!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2228
-
Employee
I'm sorry, you're gonna have to put your clothes back on, people are trying to eat.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2229
-
Dwight
Ahh! I can't-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2230
-
Michael
Was this year's Dundies a success? Well, let's see, I made Pam laugh so hard, that she fell out of her chair, and she almost broke her neck. So I killed, almost.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2231
-
Pam
Oh my God!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2232
-
Jim
Whoa.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2233
-
Pam
I just want to say, that this was the best, Dundies, ever! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2234
-
Jim
Whoa.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2235
-
Jim
Whoa, careful, careful.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2236
-
Chili's Employee
We have a strict policy here not to over serve. Apparently, this young woman was sneaking drinks off other people's tables. I Xeroxed her driver's license and she is not welcome to this restaurant chain ever again.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2237
-
Michael
Great work tonight.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2238
-
Dwight
Watch your step.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2239
-
Michael
Excellent.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2240
-
Dwight
Thanks, I had to, uh, check her pupils to make sure there wasn't a concussion.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2241
-
Michael
Yes, that too, but I mean with the audio. Great work.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2242
-
Pam
I feel bad about what I wrote on the bathroom wall.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2243
-
Jim
No you don't.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2244
-
Jim
Oh, here she is. Careful, careful, whoa. Alright, easy. Almost there.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2245
-
Pam
Hey, um, can I ask you a question?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2246
-
Jim
Shoot.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2247
-
Pam
Um, I just wanted to say thanks.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2248
-
Jim
Not really a question. Okay, let's get you home, you're drunk.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2249
-
Jim
Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2250
-
Pam
Bye.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2251
-
Jim
Goodnight, have a good night. Thank you Angela.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2252
-
Michael
TMI. Too much information. I used to say, 'Don't go there,' but that is so lame now. Or, 'You go, girl.' Or... Um, when did 'Where's the beef?' That was, like, a long, long time ago. It's funny how the shelf life of these things, like how long they last, like, 'Too much information' probably came on the scene... I mean, I didn't hear it till, like, this month, so it's pretty recently. Um, but you know, they're generally good for, like, no more than five or six years.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2253
-
Toby
Yes, that's true. I have never won a Dundie. I am more than okay with that.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2254
-
Kelly
I think I'm gonna share some Cadillac Fajitas with Toby. Toby is so cute, except he has that stupid kid.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2255
-
Angela
Yes, I'm the designated driver, which is very important. We need everyone to get home safely. But no one ever gives me gas money, and people live all over. It's expensive.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2256
-
Dwight
Like a gaggle of geese...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2257
-
Michael
All right, we need something for Kevin.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2258
-
Jim
Mmm-hmmm.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2259
-
Michael
What do we know about him? He's an accountant.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2260
-
Jim
He plays guitar, he likes naval history. He's a bowler.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2261
-
Michael
He's fat. The fat accountant award.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2262
-
Jim
Well, you seem to have this under control.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2263
-
Jim
The weird part about this whole deal this that Michael truly believes that these awards are inspiring and motivational. I mean, he puts more effort and time and commitment into the Dundies than anything else he does all year. Which is probably why this branch will be downsized.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2264
-
Michael
I am the fat accountant.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2265
-
Dwight
Michael, I need to talk to you.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2266
-
Michael
Here he is.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2267
-
Dwight
I just thought that you might like to know that someone has written something about you on the ladies' room wall.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2268
-
Michael
Really? What did they say? 'For a good time, call Michael Scott'?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2269
-
Jim
Good one.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2270
-
Dwight
Uh, no, no. No, I think something bad, maybe.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2271
-
Michael
Why do you think that? You just immediately go to that, Dwight? Why are you so negative? Why...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2272
-
Dwight
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2273
-
Michael
I mean, you just come in and you're just negative...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2274
-
Dwight
Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2275
-
Michael
...and you just walk negatively.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2276
-
Michael
Do you want me to find out what it says?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2277
-
Michael
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2278
-
Dwight
By any means necessary?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2279
-
Michael
What does that even mean? What are you... What are you talking about?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2280
-
Dwight
It's the ladies' room.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2281
-
Michael
Just go and find out what it says and who said it and report back to me. But don't tell anybody that I have anything to do with it because if they ask me, I will say that you are crazy.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2282
-
Michael
Thank you. You won't regret this, Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2283
-
Jim
What award would you like to give Dwight?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2284
-
Michael
I hadn't planned on including him.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2285
-
Jim
Okay.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2286
-
Michael
Kevin.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2287
-
Dwight
It hasn't always been easy being a whistleblower. When I was in school, the kids would call me a tattle-tale or a snitch or a worm. So I really identify with those women from Enron. I wrote them letters to tell them how much they inspired me, but they never wrote back. I guess they're all married.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2288
-
Dwight
Angela, it's simple. Just tell me what the bathroom wall says.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2289
-
Angela
I don't talk about what goes on in the restroom.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2290
-
Dwight
I'm not asking what you do in there. I just want to know what's written about Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2291
-
Angela
I don't says those kinds of things out loud. It's inappropriate.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2292
-
Dwight
Okay, I'll talk. You nod if I get it right. Does it have to do with his butt or his wiener?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2293
-
Kevin
I think his characters are pretty funny. Especially Ping.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2294
-
Michael
Well, what should I do, guys? Seriously, do you want me to just cancel the Dundies?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2295
-
Kelly
No, we were just hoping you wouldn't do those characters, like last time.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Quote 2296