Every line from The Office season 2, episode 1, in script order. First aired September 20, 2005.
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Dwight
...for people's behavior.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2097
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Michael
Don't talk-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2098
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Dwight
And it's-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2099
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Michael
Just STAP IT YAP IT!!!!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2100
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Michael
Okay, look, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Dundies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad, but WHAT THE HELL EVERYBODY!? I mean, God. The Dundies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can't you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. so, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2101
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Dwight
Yes!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2102
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Michael
Yeah, not bad, right? So let's make this the best Dundies ever.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2103
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Dwight
Best Dundies ever.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2104
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Dwight
Welcome to the eighth annual Dundies awards.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2105
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Dwight
Before we get started, a few announcements. Keep your acceptance speeches short, I have wrap it up music, and I'm not afraid to use it. Devon!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2106
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Michael
The Dundies, how can I explain it? Awards you like to hate it. I'm psyched you all made it. You never had to work so hard and feel that no one notices you. You're just a name and number and no one even says hello.' Card!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2107
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Oscar
The Dundies are kind of like a kid's birthday party, and you go, and there's really nothing for you to do there. But the kid's having a really good time, so you're, kind of there. That's-that's kind of what it's like.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2108
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Michael
You down with The Dundies? You down with the Dundie-'
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2109
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Dwight
The waitress tripped on the cord.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2110
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Michael
Alright, alright, joke landed. So we are here, thank you all for coming to the 2005 Dundie awards. I am your host, Michael Scott. And I just want to tell you please, please, do not drink and drive. Because you may hit a bump and spill the drink!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2111
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Kevin
Oh, just put these on the group tab.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2112
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Michael
Nope, actually this year, ah, no group tab, we're going to be doing separate checks.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2113
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Stanley
You said, we could bring our families.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2114
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Michael
I did. And why didn't ya Stanley?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2115
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Stanley
I did, my wife's name is Terri.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2116
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Michael
Well, I'm looking forward to meeting Terri.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2117
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Stanley
It's this person who's hand I'm holding Michael.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2118
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Michael
Shut it. Um, good. Speaking of relationships, of all, all way shapes and forms. Um, I was out on a very, very hot date with a girl from HR, Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2119
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Dwight
Really? We don't have any girls from HR.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2120
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Michael
No, that...for the sake of the story. And things were getting hot and heavy.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2121
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Dwight
Yeah?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2122
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Michael
And I was about to take her bra off...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2123
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Dwight
Yeah!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2124
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Michael
...when she made me fill out six hours of paperwork-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2125
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Dwight
Like an AIDS test?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2126
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Michael
No! God.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2127
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Michael
Alright, so let's get this party staaaarrrrted.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2128
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Darryl
Hey let's go to Poor Richard's.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2129
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Roy
Yeah, let's get out of here.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2130
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Pam
Um...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2131
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Michael
Um, guys, where you going? Pam, show's just getting started.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2132
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Pam
Sorry.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2133
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Ryan
You staying?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2134
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Jim
Yeah, gotta eat somewhere.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2135
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Michael
And now... to someone who quietly goes about their job, but always seems to land the biggest accounts...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2136
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Michael
...the 'Busiest Beaver' award goes to Phyllis Lapin.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2137
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Michael
Yeah, way to go Phyllis. Nice work, per usual.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2138
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Phyllis
This says 'Bushiest Beaver'.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2139
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Michael
What? I told them busiest...idiots.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2140
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Phyllis
It's, it's fine.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2141
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Michael
Well, we'll fix it up. You don't have to display that.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2142
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Pam
...because that's what happens every time!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2143
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Roy
...talking about? He's a jackass every year.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2144
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Pam
No.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2145
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Roy
Come on, we're going to Poor Richard's.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2146
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Pam
No, I don't want to go, I don't want to.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2147
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Roy
Pam. Go.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2148
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Pam
If you would have asked me that, then you would know.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2149
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Michael
Herro everybodeeee. I'm gonna cwall Jan Revinson-Gould.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2150
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Jim
Hey! How are ya? I thought you left?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2151
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Pam
Oh no, I just, I decided to stay.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2152
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Jim
Oh!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2153
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Pam
I'll just get a ride home from Angela.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2154
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Jim
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2155
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Pam
Oh good, I'm just in time for Ping.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2156
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2157
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Michael
Oh, dat wir be fwar. Ah, me so horny.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2158
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Michael
Right? You know wat I'm talking 'bout.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2159
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Pam
Can I get a drink?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2160
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Michael
This next award goes to somebody, who really, lights up the office.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2161
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Michael
Somebody, who I think a lot of us, cannot keep, from checking out. The 'Hottest in the Office' award goes to... ...Ryan the temp!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2162
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Michael
Yeah. 'Hidy ho, you sexy thang. You sexy thang you.' Here you go.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2163
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Ryan
What am I going to do with the award? Nothing. I-I don't know what I'm going to do. That's the least of my...concerns right now.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2164
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Michael
And the 'Tight Ass' award goes to Angela. Not only because she is everybody's favorite stickler, but because she has, a great caboose. So...come on down.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2165
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Angela
No.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2166
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Jim
I think those might be empty.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2167
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Pam
No, no. 'Cause the ice melts and then it's like second drink!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2168
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Jim
Second drink?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2169
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Michael
The 'Spicy Curry' award goes to our very own Kelly Kapoor! Get on up here. Here you go.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2170
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Kelly
Spicy Curry', what's that mean?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2171
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Michael
Um, not everything means something, it's just a joke.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2172
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Kelly
Yeah, but why'd you give it to me?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2173
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Michael
I don't know, it's just...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2174
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Kelly
This is a bowler-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2175
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Michael
I know. It's ju- they didn't have any more businessmen. So...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2176
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Kelly
Yeah, but everyone else-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2177
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Michael
Just sit down Kelly.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2178
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Michael
It's so freakin' hot in there. Now I know what Bob Hope was going through when he performed in Saudi Arabia. Man! I got Dwight sucking the funny out of the room, but you do what you can do. Here we go, he's early with the cue. Here we go.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2179
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Michael
'You have won a tiny Dundie.'
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2180
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Guy At Bar
Sing it Elton.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2181
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Michael
Hey, thanks guys. Hey, where you guys from?
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2182
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Other Guy at Bar
We just came from yo' mama's house.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2183
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Michael
Oh, alright, yeah.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2184
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Guy At Bar
Sing 'em a song dude.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2185
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Michael
Uh, you know what guys, we're just having a little office party, so if you want, uh...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2186
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Michael
Hey, you know, cool it guys, really-
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2187
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Guy At Bar
You suck man!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2188
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Michael
Let's cut it.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2189
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Michael
I had a few more Dundies to, uh, give out tonight, but, I'm just going to cut it short. And wrap it up so everybody can enjoy their food. Um...thanks for listening, those who listened. This last Dundie is for Kevin, this is the 'Don't Go in There After Me' award. It's for the time that I went into the bathroom after him, and it was really, really smelly. So...
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2190
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Michael
[give Kevin his award]There you go.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2191
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Pam
Yay Kevin. Whoo hoo for Kevin! For stinking up the bathroom.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2192
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Jim
Yeah, alright Kev.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2193
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Pam
Woo! Hey, I haven't gotten one yet!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2194
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Jim
Yes, I have not gotten one either. So, keep going.
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2195
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Pam
More Dundies!
Season 2 · Episode 1 · Line 2196