Every line from The Office season 2, episode 12, in script order. First aired January 12, 2006.
-
Jim
Michael stop.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6291
-
Dwight
Mmmmm...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6292
-
Michael
Just give it!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6293
-
Jim
Michael stop.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6294
-
Michael
Stop, stop it! Stop spraying! Gimme the bottle!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6295
-
Jim
Stop
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6296
-
Dwight
My eyes!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6297
-
Michael
Stop spraying me! Gimme the bottle!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6298
-
Dwight
My eyes!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6299
-
Michael
Dwight, what is your middle name.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6300
-
Dwight
Danger.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6301
-
Michael
Something with a 'K'.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6302
-
Jim
It's Kurt. Wow, I am so sad that I know that.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6303
-
Michael
What do I write under 'reason for visit'?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6304
-
Jim
Concussion. What did you write?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6305
-
Michael
Nothing. I wrote 'bringing someone to the hospital'.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6306
-
Jim
So you thought they meant your reason for coming to the hospital.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6307
-
Michael
No... you know what Jim, this isn't about me anymore. I made a miraculous recovery, which is more than I can say for him.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6308
-
Jim
Come on Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6309
-
Dwight
Hi Michael!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6310
-
Michael
Hi Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6311
-
Dwight
Ahhh. Mweehaa
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6312
-
Michael
Doctor, what is more serious, a head injury or a foot injury?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6313
-
Doctor
A head injury.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6314
-
Michael
Well, you don't have all the information. The foot as been fairly severely burned and healed quickly, very quickly, actually like suspiciously quickly.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6315
-
Doctor
So, I'm ordering a CAT scan.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6316
-
Dwight
What is that?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6317
-
Michael
Look since you have the machine up and running, can I just stick my foot, we take a look?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6318
-
Doctor
Well, for a burn, you really just need to look at the outside of the foot.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6319
-
Michael
Ok, what kinda machine is that?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6320
-
Doctor
Does the skin look red and swollen?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6321
-
Dwight
That's what she said.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6322
-
Michael
That's my joke, damnit Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6323
-
Lab Tech
Ok, no electronics past this point. Camera, sound equipment...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6324
-
Michael
It's ok, they're with me.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6325
-
Lab Tech
No metal of any kind.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6326
-
Michael
Alright, well, I guess this is where we leave you off.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6327
-
Dwight
I don't want to do this.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6328
-
Michael
Uh, well you should of thought of before you crashed your head on your way to pick me up. We'll, see you when you get out.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6329
-
Dwight
Oh.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6330
-
Michael
Fine. Fine.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6331
-
Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6332
-
Jim
Dunder Mifflin, this is Jim.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6333
-
Pam
Oh my God, what is going on, is Dwight ok?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6334
-
Jim
Uh hmm, he should be fine, but, uh, they brought him in for a CAT scan.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6335
-
Pam
I can't believe he's getting a CAT scan.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6336
-
Jim
Michael went in there with him too. It's pretty sweet.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6337
-
Pam
Really? Michael went in with him?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6338
-
Jim
Uh huh.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6339
-
Pam
Wow.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6340
-
Jim
But they shouldn't be much longer now, so we'll be back soon.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6341
-
Pam
Ok, that's uh, good news Uh, yeah, no I'll let you go.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6342
-
Jim
Ok.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6343
-
Pam
Ok. Bye.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6344
-
Jim
Bye.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6345
-
Pam
Hey, Oscar?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6346
-
Oscar
What's up, Pam?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6347
-
Pam
I just wanted to let you that Dwight's gonna be ok. The doctor said there's a really simple treatment for a concussion, so he'll probably even be back at work tomorrow.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6348
-
Oscar
Ok...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6349
-
Pam
I just, uh, thought you'd want to know that.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6350
-
Lab Tech
Ok Mr. Schrute, inhale with me on three. One, two, uh Sir? Stop that. Stop. Stop that.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6351
-
Oscar
You should put butter on it.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6352
-
Michael
Uh, that's what she said. See, haven't lost my sense of humor. No, no need, it was a non-stick grill.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6353
-
Jim
I've had a Foreman grill for about six years, I've done about 85% of my cooking on it, but I've never burnt myself, probably because I don't use it as a pillow.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6354
-
Michael
I always keep a stash of bubble wrap at my house. Some days, hectic, tiring days, I just like to go home and zone out and click on the tube and pop a few. Very soothing. Want to try?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6355
-
Jim
You know, that's probably not gonna last too long, you should go to a hospital and get a real cast.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6356
-
Michael
Right, I'm gonna spend the day in the hospital, bujehh. Bureaucracy and germs.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6357
-
Jim
And doctors.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6358
-
Michael
Yes, so, no thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6359
-
Dwight
Pssht.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6360
-
Michael
What?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6361
-
Dwight
Constructing a home-made cast? Genius. Filled with foresight. Like in the pioneer times, if you lost a leg, they would then use the bone of the leg for a cane. They wasted nothing.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6362
-
Michael
Wow, I don't want to hear... you talk. Pam, could I have a word with you in my office? Oh, oh, oh. Alright.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6363
-
Ryan
My assignment is to make a temporary disabled parking permit for Michael Scott.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6364
-
Angela
Ooo! Who made popcorn?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6365
-
Toby
Well you know, frankly a lot of us have been saying this for a long time.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6366
-
Michael
Yeah, I've been sayin that.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6367
-
Toby
Yeah, and I, uh, I think that the very fact that we're including it in our agenda frankly, is a big step forward.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6368
-
Michael
Did you know I used to be in HR?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6369
-
Toby
I'm sorry?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6370
-
Michael
I used to be in HR. I was a Hell raiser.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6371
-
Toby
Uh, ok.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6372
-
Michael
Right?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6373
-
Toby
Uh, great. Why don't we move on?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6374
-
Michael
Alright. Movin' on.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6375
-
Toby
Great. Because you that I think the very fact that
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6376
-
Michael
Ry-an. You're here. Whatcha got, whatcha got? Alright, Panic Room, Maverick, Nell, Sommersby, The Accused. Where's Little Man Tate?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6377
-
Ryan
They were out.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6378
-
Michael
Oh come on.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6379
-
Ryan
At three different places.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6380
-
Michael
Oh man. It's not a Jodie Foster afternoon without Little Man Tate, buddy.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6381
-
Michael
Mmm, I'm telling you the best cure in the world is comfort food. You know how they say 'stuff a cold'? Well I don't care you've got, the flu, Lyme disease, emphysema, you eat an entire dark meat chicken, you can walk on the moon.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6382
-
Dwight
Look, I feel fine. As a volunteer sheriff's deputy I have been trained to notice all the signs of a concussion. One of them is slurred speech, ok? Number three, shortness of breath. There are four things you have to remember. One: I am faster than 80% of all snakes. Also.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6383
-
Doctor
We need to get your friend into the CT machine.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6384
-
Dwight
Into a machine?! Ok. Uh, that's bad, will you stay with me?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6385
-
Michael
No.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6386
-
Dwight
Ok, will you please call my cousin Mose?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6387
-
Michael
No, I'm not calling your weirdo cousin. Twenty-seven years old, never left the beet farm.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6388
-
Dwight
Oh God. Oh God.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6389
-
Michael
Guh-od.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6390