Every line from The Office season 2, episode 12, in script order. First aired January 12, 2006.
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Oscar
...Lord of the Rings trilogy, if you see it back to back, it's really long. But it's good.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5991
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Jim
Yeah, that's right.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5992
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5993
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Michael
Pam! It's Michael. Help me! I need help right now.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5994
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Pam
Michael, what's wrong?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5995
-
Michael
I'm hurt, I have hurt myself. Oh my God!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5996
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Pam
Ok, wait wait wait wait...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5997
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Michael
Ungh, this is not looking good Pam!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5998
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Pam
Michael, do you need me to call an ambulance?!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 5999
-
Michael
No, I want you to pick me up.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6000
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Jim
What?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6001
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Pam
Ok...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6002
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Jim
What's going on?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6003
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Pam
Wait a second, I thought you said that you were hurt.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6004
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Michael
I am hurt. I hurt my foot.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6005
-
Jim
I'm sorry? Pam.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6006
-
Pam
[exasperated]
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6007
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Jim
What is going on?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6008
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Michael
I want to come to work. But I need you to come and pick me up.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6009
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Michael
OH GOD!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6010
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Jim
Hey, whoa, Michael...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6011
-
Michael
Oh God!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6012
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Jim
It's, okay, it's Jim. Just say again, uh, really loudly what happened.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6013
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Michael
OK, buhhhh, I burned my foot very badly on my Foreman Grill and I now need someone to come and bring me into work.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6014
-
Jim
You burned
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6015
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Michael
I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot... that's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6016
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Michael
Pam, could you come get me?!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6017
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Pam
Uh, I have to stay here and answer the phone.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6018
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Michael
Ok, could someone come and get me please, Ryan?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6019
-
Phyllis
Michael, you should stay home and rest.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6020
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Michael
There's no toilet paper here. Could Ryan... tell Ryan to bring toilet paper. Could you tell 'em that?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6021
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Kevin
Can you hop?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6022
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Michael
I tried hopping, Kevin, and I bumped my elbow against the wall and now my elbow has a protruberance.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6023
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Michael
No one wants to pick me up!?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6024
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Dwight
What is going on? What is going on?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6025
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Pam
Michael, is, um, sick and he wants one of us to rescue him.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6026
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Michael
I'm not sick! I'm burned!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6027
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Dwight
I'm coming Michael!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6028
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Jim
Oh...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6029
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Dwight
I'm gonna save you!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6030
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Michael
Don't... is that Dwight? I do not want Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6031
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Dwight
Hold on Michael! I am coming! Wait there!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6032
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Michael
I don't want Dwight!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6033
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Pam
Michael, why don't you call your girlfriend?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6034
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Michael
I don't have a girlfriend.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6035
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Jim
But you said that you went out with her this weekend.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6036
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Michael
It was all made up. Just someone come, ok? Anyone. Anyone but Dwight.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6037
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Jim
What was that...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6038
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Pam
What was that?!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6039
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Jim
Oh!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6040
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Pam
Ohhhhhh!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6041
-
Jim
He hit the pole!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6042
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Jim
It's broken right, he can't...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6043
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Pam
Oh my gosh.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6044
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Jim
Oh Dwight, Dwight, Ohhhhhh!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6045
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Jim and Pam
Oh my God!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6046
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Pam
Is he ok?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6047
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Jim
He's still driving... Dwight, you forgot your bumper!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6048
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Michael
Hellooo? ... Please don't send Dwight!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6049
-
Michael
Morning everyone. Don't freak out. I forbid anybody to freak out. Clearly, I have had a very serious accident, but I will recover, God willing. I just want to be treated normally today. Normal would actually be good, considering the trauma that I've been through.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6050
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Pam
You missed two big conference calls today, one with corporate.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6051
-
Michael
Did you explain why?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6052
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Pam
No, I didn't mention that you cooked your foot.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6053
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Michael
Burned my foot, Pam.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6054
-
Michael
Please stop popping my cast. Thank you.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6055
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Jim
So, where are you shipping your foot?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6056
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Michael
Ha ha ha. So where are you shipping...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6057
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Dwight
Your foot?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6058
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Michael
Thank you. Pam, messages please?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6059
-
Pam
You didn't have any.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6060
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Michael
Really, well, it, uh, seemed very important to you earlier that you needed to stay and...
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6061
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Pam
And do my job?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6062
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Michael
No, your job is being my friend, Pam. OW! God!
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6063
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Dwight
It slipped.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6064
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Michael
What?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6065
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Dwight
Sorry.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6066
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Pam
It's just that before, you said that you didn't want any special treatment.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6067
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Michael
I don't want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that's too much to ask.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6068
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Pam
Do you want some aspirin, because you seem a little fussy.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6069
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Michael
No, I don't want some aspirin, yeah I'm a little fussy. Aspirin's not gonna do a damn thing. I'm sitting here with a bloody stump of a foot.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6070
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Dwight
Hey, Pam, I'm assistant regional manager, and I can take care of him. Part of my duties are to.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6071
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Michael
What? Part of your duties are to what?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6072
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Dwight
What?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6073
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Michael
You just said 'part of your duties are to' something.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6074
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Dwight
No, I didn't.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6075
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Michael
Yes, you did. What is wrong with you?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6076
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Dwight
What is wrong with
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6077
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Michael
Where is my cornbread?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6078
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Ryan
Here you go.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6079
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Michael
Thank you. Did you get all dark meat like I like?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6080
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Ryan
Yes. I ordered three full rotisserie chickens worth of all dark meat.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6081
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Michael
Where are the yams?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6082
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Ryan
They were out of yams. I got you creamed spinach.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6083
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Michael
Did you go to the one in Stroudsburg?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6084
-
Ryan
Yes.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6085
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Michael
And they had no yams?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6086
-
Ryan
They had no yams.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6087
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Michael
How strange. Because they always have yams.
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6088
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Dwight
Aw, man, is that a Prism Duro-Sport?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6089
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Pam
You've seen one of these?
Season 2 · Episode 12 · Line 6090