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Gabe Lewis Quotes from The Office (page 4)

Sabre liaison to the Scranton branch.

437 quotes · page 4 of 5

  1. My entire childhood, I was the one left out, and I said to myself: Gabe, if you just achieve some success, you'll be part of them. You'll be part of the happy ones. But instead, people just used my success as a new way to shut me out.

    Season 8 · Episode 1 · Line 45985

  2. I cannot believe that Andy is throwing a party like this just to impress the CEO. Classic Gabe move. Hey Andy, how about you don't steal my business strategies, and I won't dress like my life is just one long brunch?

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46678

  3. I can't believe I didn't think of toasting Robert. Get in the game, Gabriel! Why are you talking to Stanley's mistress?

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46774

  4. I would also like to toast Robert California. Mr. California,...

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46783

  5. To Robert California, from the moment you entered our building and our hearts, you...

    Season 8 · Episode 4 · Line 46788

  6. And I overheard, and thought, hey, that'd be fun, don't mind if I do.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 46979

  7. Sweetheart.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47026

  8. Ok where does Gabe factor in?

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47028

  9. Yes. Lars and Decocco's

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47030

  10. I will make this sexier than you could ever imagine.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47032

  11. Oh that would be scary!

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47034

  12. Ok let me go get it.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47036

  13. The cinema of the unsettling is a growing film movement. The most well known film in the genre is an hour long shot of a squirrel with diarrhea.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47082

  14. Yeah it seems like there isn't a narrative. Maybe the filmmaker realized that even narrative is comforting.

    Season 8 · Episode 5 · Line 47086

  15. Hey.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47230

  16. Monday's suck.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47232

  17. Hey. I need you to get the paperwork rolling on a new workplace relationship.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47244

  18. Yes. For Gabe.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47246

  19. Whom I'm seeing is Val from down in the warehouse.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47248

  20. I'm not technically seeing her, but uh I've seen her, with the eyes and uh there was attraction. In at least one direction. So..[holds up fist]

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47250

  21. Ok, but once this starts, it's going to be moving fast. It's going to be hot and heavy and I don't want a bunch of bureaucratic red tape wrapped around my jock. You know?

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47252

  22. Yeah we had a whole conversation about Mondays'

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47254

  23. Toby I'm going to tell you her last name tomorrow because she's going to be screaming it tonight.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47256

  24. Hey! Watch it.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47258

  25. It's for protecting my ass. When you suckers lift more than you can handle. Sup, I'm Gabe. Corporate. Continue. Don't be nervous.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47291

  26. Look at this, this is enormous.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47295

  27. I get the sense that Val enjoys a good putdown. Considering that's the only thing I know about her. I will be milking that hard.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47296

  28. It's like a hula hoop. Right. Mele Kalikimaka is the wise way.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47297

  29. The Michelin man called, he wants his cummerbund back.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47299

  30. Hey Darryl, I was thinking, uh, maybe while we read through this, uh, you could grab us all some coffee. My treat. It's a hundred dollar bill. Should cover it I think. Don't bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, ok? I want a decaf frappuccino. Val'

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47324

  31. Uh.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47327

  32. Decaf frap-

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47329

  33. Hey. You're welcome.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47403

  34. So, tonight I was thinking, I'm gonna go to the cemetery. I'm gonna drink a little wine and I thought maybe you'd like to come with me.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47405

  35. Yes, I am.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47407

  36. I could quit. Problem solved.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47409

  37. Well Darryl, considering that I basically own the place, I'm just chillin' at mi casa. This is me, in repose..I suppose.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47498

  38. You know, there's this expression: Bro's before Ho's. And what that's short for is brothers before whores. Uh, I don't buy that. I would throw any brother under the bus for any whore. Woman.

    Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47499

  39. Well he's probably a drug dealer. That's the best way to land a hot girlfriend. You just uh get her hooked on blow.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47578

  40. It's one of the most common fetishes.

    Season 8 · Episode 7 · Line 47589

  41. The Sabre Code of Conduct outlines the governing principles key to establishing and maintaining trust with our employees, clients-

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47830

  42. Oh, is it okay with you? Because if it's not, you work for me, so... Comply with all applicable laws, regulations, policies and contracts governing our business. Be honest, fair-

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47833

  43. And trustworthy in all your business activities and relationships. Treat one another-

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47835

  44. Fun fact. In France, they call Limitless 'The Man with Many Capabilities.'

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47917

  45. No, no, I'm-

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47980

  46. Apparently, I bear a passing resemblance to Abraham Lincoln. Makes it kind of hard for me to go to places like museums, historical monuments, elementary schools... I don't see it. Chelsea's Mom: Chelsea, give Mr. Lincoln your hat so I can take a picture.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47981

  47. Okay, Quick.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47982

  48. Oh, uh, no. No, no, no, no. I'm, uh, I'm actually with a tour group myself, so- Hello! I'm Abraham Lincoln! Some people call me the great emancipator, but, uh, you might know me from the penny.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47984

  49. I just don't understand. It's 1865, victory is ours, I've saved the very soul of our nation, and yet... happiness eludes me. Oh, perhaps a trip to the theater will enliven my spirits.

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 47995

  50. Abe and Mary are seated watching the show. Oh Mary this is wonderful' Ok Mary stop your scolding. I'll be quiet. I need her like I need a hole in the head! BANG! Ooh

    Season 8 · Episode 8 · Line 48066

  51. I didn't know Darryl joined.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48337

  52. Nice pelvic bowl. Deep.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48339

  53. They say that if you can strengthen your core, it improves your sexual performance. So, you will find me on the Ab-Blaster. And then you will find me blasting...uh, a very nice young woman.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48390

  54. Steve Martin. uh, I'm fine.

    Season 8 · Episode 9 · Line 48393

  55. Dwight? What are you doing here?

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48790

  56. Course I know.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48792

  57. Corporate says to me, 'Gabe, we need you in Scranton.' Scranton says, 'Gabe, go back down to Florida. You're needed there.' So, Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm up there. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I'm down here. I can think of no better way to confront my deathly fear of flying.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48794

  58. You can reduce your prices by ten percent or we're going to be finding a new source for our morning bagels. All right.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48834

  59. Yeah. But not just bagels. All unwanted problems. Question: What's the most important appliance in your house?

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48836

  60. Too slow. It's the toilet. And I am the toilet of this office. I flush away annoying problems so others can keep their hands clean. And, just like a toilet, I am essential.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48838

  61. CEO to COO. What a difference a letter makes.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48843

  62. You're really going to like Bill. He, uh, he has me toilet a lot of people for him. Hallway phone, Gabe Lewis speaking.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48845

  63. Your wish is my command.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48847

  64. Hey man, uh, look. Unfortunately, Bill had to go fight a fire, so your appointment got-

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48881

  65. Well, it's nine miles away. I'm going to be meeting with you on his behalf.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48883

  66. I can see you in the jungle now.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48886

  67. I know.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48905

  68. What?

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48907

  69. You're doing great. You know, so good.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48909

  70. Dwight, that was a fantastic presentation. Put your hand on my hand. Flush! Ow!

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48911

  71. Ow! He went home.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48913

  72. Uh, it's a condo and it's long-term business housing.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48915

  73. Ow! Ow! Stephanie, help!

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48917

  74. I don't know. All I know is the building.

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48934

  75. Yay Robert!

    Season 8 · Episode 11 · Line 48958

  76. I'm feeling eighty-two, eighty-two and a half.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49084

  77. Well, we'll say its eight-two and it'll be our secret.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49086

  78. Too kind doesn't begin to cover it.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49151

  79. And Gabe-y makes three.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49153

  80. Yup. We could watch some right now if you want. I got a Korean film on my iPod if you want to just- if you have the cables.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49218

  81. And that goes double for me. I'll stay even later than you'd like.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49296

  82. So leave.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49304

  83. Beautiful sentiment.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49343

  84. I live in this room.

    Season 8 · Episode 12 · Line 49345

  85. Everyone, our very own Angela-

    Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49391

  86. Oh, I am so in.

    Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49393

  87. I love maternity wards. It's the perfect blend of love and horror. Things can go so wrong or so right.

    Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49394

  88. You've reached Gabe Lewis, I'm currently indisposed. Leave me a message. Ciao.

    Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49521

  89. You had something important to tell me?

    Season 8 · Episode 13 · Line 49674

  90. Wait, wait, you think she invented 'Talla-nasty?' no, no, no, no'

    Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50298

  91. What happens if you're the hunchback?

    Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50319

  92. Well, then you have to call me by my name. Gabriel Susan Lewis.

    Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50458

  93. What's in it for GSL?

    Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50460

  94. Got it.

    Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50462

  95. They don't make these cords in boot cut anymore!

    Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50508

  96. I'm not just saying this, that was the best thing I've ever seen.

    Season 8 · Episode 18 · Line 50948

  97. Guys, that's the elevator. What if it's him?

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51392

  98. Ah! Ha ha ha!

    Season 8 · Episode 20 · Line 51396

  99. I don't really see what the problem is. Erin doesn't even like sex, remember? You said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51854

  100. I've read- and I don't know anything about this personally- but they say prostate stimulation can help.

    Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51874