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Gabe Lewis Quotes from The Office (page 2)

Sabre liaison to the Scranton branch.

437 quotes · page 2 of 5

  1. Oh boy. Can you get every department head's signature on this so I can back this up to corporate?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38807

  2. So, Corporate got your evaluations, and they want me to check, is that really how you feel about Michaels situation?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38853

  3. That is not how it seems to me.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38855

  4. You marked severe in all the categories, including at risk for homicidal behavior.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38857

  5. I'm back! Ha ha. Pam, perfect. I was hoping to talk to the office administrator about a little office administration problem.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38863

  6. Great.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38865

  7. The problem, unfortunately, is about the office administrator. I have gone through everything for the past three years. There is nothing that says you are the office administrator.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38866

  8. At all.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38868

  9. Pam, I don't want to accuse you of anything. I just want everything to be back the way it's supposed to be. Can you just admit... admit...

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38870

  10. I don't want to say it.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38872

  11. Mm-hmm.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38874

  12. Statements of such nature, while they have their place, are overused in a competitive business environment.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38876

  13. Will do... Can I get one of those name plates... that says Gabe Lewis?

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38878

  14. Nope.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38880

  15. This wasn't really about Meredith was it. You and Erin are broken up.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39421

  16. I asked you if it was ok if I asked her out. You said, and I quote, 'My good sir! Nothing would make me happier than to hand you the hand of the hand once in my hand.' I specifically remember it because you said it in such a weird way.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39423

  17. I'll let this slide, but I expect you to put this whole Erin thing behind you.

    Season 7 · Episode 4 · Line 39425

  18. In case you can't read m-m-my Poker Face... we will be reviewing our sales policies. I have ten seconds to read them or this whole place blows up.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39891

  19. When our warehouse workers make deliveries, they're going to be encouraged to offer clients extra products. And then they will split those commissions with sales.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39898

  20. That is correct.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39900

  21. Not here.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39902

  22. Okay, guys, fun is fun, but-

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39904

  23. Uh uh. Corporate stole nothing, okay? Darryl told me, and then I told them, giving Darryl full credit, so... no need to screw corporate! Or anything like that, so. Let's give Darryl a round of applause, as planned.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 39969

  24. Okay...

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40021

  25. In the future, you need to get Michael's approval on anything before coming to me.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40106

  26. Okay, well, obviously if it's a really, really good idea, my door is open.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40109

  27. Ohh. Dropping bombs, right? This really make you think, Michael?

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40118

  28. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40120

  29. You're right, we don't need a hat.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40123

  30. Okay. We're going to table the hat question. The best ideas are going to come to me, I make the final decision, period.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40125

  31. Okay, why don't we simplify this? Darryl brings it to Michael, Michael brings it to me, no one calls Jo.

    Season 7 · Episode 6 · Line 40127

  32. Michael, this is irresponsible.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40318

  33. Well, you have a job to do. Okay, there is no off-season when it comes to printer sales.

    Season 7 · Episode 7 · Line 40321

  34. Okay, while this is interesting we should get back to work. These stand-offs can last a long time. What if it's another Waco.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40439

  35. So these are your cheeses, your ham, your sausages, your herbs, and your vegetables. Here's what's been done, so start creating. Some times it helps to think of a part of the world, and...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40495

  36. You don't really toss the dough.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40499

  37. Welcome to my Man Cave! I did my senior year in prog in Japan. Best year of my life.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40501

  38. Oh! I like to play soundscapes. I imagine one instant of a song, expanded to be the size of the universe.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40503

  39. It's a little loud...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40516

  40. Some of us are trying to have a conversation.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40518

  41. I'll just turn the captions on.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40520

  42. That's for the other box.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40522

  43. Let's go ahead and wash our hands.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40575

  44. Yep! Waste not right?

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40577

  45. Erin you don't have to...

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40584

  46. Michael! You are making this harder than it has to be.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40586

  47. It's still on upstairs.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40655

  48. See ya Oscar!

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40701

  49. What happened?

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40704

  50. How much?

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40706

  51. I've got just the thing! This one's called Earth Rise, on the Moon.

    Season 7 · Episode 8 · Line 40708

  52. Is this job really about the money for you, Jim? I mean, isn't this where you fell in love?

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40797

  53. When you're dealing with a large organization, sometimes you have to put up with policies you don't like. I wish my gym didn't allow full nudity in the locker room. Okay, seeing these old guys walking around naked feels almost passive-aggressive. But I deal with it. 'Cause it's policy. See what I mean?

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40799

  54. Nudity makes me uncomfortable.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40801

  55. My gym allows it. I wish they didn't, but it's policy. So I respect it, and I just--keep a low--you know, I look away. Think about your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40803

  56. Hey, Jim? Are you distracting these people?

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40953

  57. Can you at least

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40955

  58. Gabe Lewis.

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 41011

  59. Well, Jo--

    Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 41013

  60. Oh my God, I can't look at roaches.

    Season 7 · Episode 10 · Line 41131

  61. We just want to say how grateful we are.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Line 41379

  62. Kelly, I thought we agreed on fleece blankets.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Line 41390

  63. Erin and I make great use of ours.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Line 41392

  64. Yes, Erin and I are still dating. Why do you ask me so often if we're still dating?

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Line 41393

  65. I'm not sure the temporary replacement of an H.R. rep really warrants a party.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Line 41466

  66. Yet another opportunity where a blanket would have come in handy.

    Season 7 · Episode 11 · Line 41698

  67. Intercepted!

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42120

  68. Whoops.

    Season 7 · Episode 12 · Line 42122

  69. I picked out our movie. It's called 'Suspiria'. It pushes all the boundaries. All your preconceived notions about what horror can be come crashing down.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Line 42426

  70. Ooh.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Line 42428

  71. It is hard to explain why Erin is doing so well today. The only thing I can think is Erin is living out some 'Slumdog Millionaire' scenario, where every word she's playing has a connection to her orphan past. It's possible.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Line 42430

  72. So, I won.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Line 42518

  73. Well, that's actually what I came to talk to you about. I know how much you want to watch 'Wall-e'.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Line 42520

  74. So I got us a compromise. This movie's called 'Hardware'. It tells the story of a killer combat robot, just like Wall-e, that the government invented to destroy humans. It's some of what you like and some of what I like, and... married...

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Line 42522

  75. Nice guy.

    Season 7 · Episode 13 · Line 42526

  76. No no. No no no.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42656

  77. Ok. No no no.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42661

  78. Ok, I'm sorry but I am going to have to shut this down.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42701

  79. Unless we can all agree to some ground rules. It's either that or I can fax this to Joe and let her decide how to proceed.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42704

  80. Number one, and this should be obvious, no captions that insult the company we work for.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42706

  81. Number two: no pop culture references.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42708

  82. I think we can all agree that they tend to alienate those who don't get the reference, making them feel like the other.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42711

  83. Ok final thing, and this is a fun one: Instead of writing the caption directly under the picture, let's all try using Sticky Quips. All right? New, from Dunder Mifflin Sabre.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42713

  84. Sticky Quips are fun. They are safe. They are handy. I like to use Sticky Quips as regular Post-It notes when I am in a fun mood. Not every day.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42714

  85. Go get 'em. Start quipin'.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42715

  86. So what, no one's even gonna try?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42770

  87. Oh, come on. My rules could not possibly have been that oppressive.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42772

  88. Hey...

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42774

  89. Too late! Oh. Ha. An IM chat. Very clever. I'll just print that out. Come on guys. Grow up. I don't want to be your babysitter.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42781

  90. Darn it Bob. I told you not to buy a Sabre brand lifeboat.'

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42783

  91. No, not nice. Terrible. Doesn't even include the fact that they're dogs.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42785

  92. Wake up, Fred. The power cord on your Sabre printer shocked you into a coma, and you're dreaming you're a dog on a desert island.'

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42787

  93. Uh, excuse me, excuse me. How does the speaker know what the guy in the coma is dreaming?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42789

  94. Umm... 'You don't have to sniff my rear end anymore, Bob, I'm the only one here.' Ha.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42791

  95. Tasteless?

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42793

  96. More tasteless than this...'is that a palm tree or did Gabe get skinnier? Either way, let's pee on it.'

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42795

  97. Uh, it was.

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42829

  98. Oh, thank God. I had a horrible nightmare that I was stuck in America with Gabe.'

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42831

  99. I know what it smells like but I didn't roll in anything. It's from listening to all of Gabe's bull[bleep]. 'Isn't this the perfect romantic getaway, Erin? Sitting on a deserted island wearing dog costumes? I'm Gabe and I'm a weirdo.'

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42834

  100. Gabe's mom... hmm... Gabe's mom? Wait. Tall woman? Looks like Gabe? Yeah, I banged her.'

    Season 7 · Episode 14 · Line 42836