Gabe Lewis Quotes from The Office

Sabre liaison to the Scranton branch.

437 quotes · page 1 of 5

1. Oh. Okay. And to you.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34871

2. Um, hi, uh, my name is Gabe Lewis. I am coordinating director for merging regions.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34875

3. We are very impressed with this branch and we are so excited about this merger.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34880

4. Um, actually, if you don't mind, I would love to put this on the Sabre website.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34884

5. Most of our business comes from selling printers. So don't think of yourselves as paper salesmen anymore, but as printer salesmen who also sell paper.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34907

6. At Sabre, we really encourage honest communication. You should always feel free to express your thoughts, your -

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34910

7. We have a policy here at Sabre where we are, uh, allowed to take two weeks.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34912

8. Actually, that's Nick. He's your new IT guy. Uh, he's setting up a site blocker. Mostly blocking the inappropriate sites. And then there are the time-wasting sites like Twitter, YouTube. We are blocking those as well.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34916

9. Ok, did everyone get one? With these bottles, we eliminate the need for plastic water bottles, which are the scourge of the environment.

   Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34918

10. Little cups? Like paper or plastic or... ?

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34920

11. Ok, well, I bet you can fit 20 little cups of water in your aluminum bottle.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34923

12. Oh, I don't get that sense at all from you, so...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34933

13. Which ones?

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34935

14. Well, I wish that I could do something, but it's kind of policy, you know? Above my pay grade. You know?

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34937

15. You know what? Let me see what I can do.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34939

16. First let me say that I told them everything you wanted me to say, in just the way you wanted me to say it, so...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34954

17. Ok, um, I told the story of your uncle, and I have a feeling that you would have really been proud of the way... Okay, um...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34956

18. I don't - it's just...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34958

19. This is Michael Scott, co-regional manager of this branch.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35130

20. This is Accounting.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35143

21. Over here is Meredith Palmer and Creed Bratton.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35146

22. That is Jim Halpert, he is the co-regional manager of this office.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35148

23. Oh, he is. He's the co-manager, and that's the other co-manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Quote 35150

24. Um. I set my stuff up in there. So... just give me a few minutes to clean that out for you.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36113

25. You never know with Jo. Sometimes we're here til midnight. Sometimes she doesn't show up for three days.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36265

26. Yeah, that would be awesome. I could get a girlfriend. Wouldn't have to go to Amsterdam seven times a year. But uh, I'm young, right? I will date when I'm dead!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Quote 36267

27. Michael, we spent a lot of money on those leads. You have to give them out.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36384

28. Michael, I don't want to incentivise murder. But - we've tried to make it clear that our policy emphasises sales staff -

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36386

29. But you do. You are in charge -

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36388

30. - of supporting the sales staff. You are required to hand out those leads, Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36390

31. Okay, good.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36392

32. Good.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36394

33. Why do you keep repeating -

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Quote 36396

34. This is violent and offensive.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37006

35. It's awful.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37008

36. You have some food on your face.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37010

37. The beginning here has been a little bit of a fiasco. Either they don't respect me or they respect me too much. And some of them still think that I'm the I.T. guy. This Cookie Monster thing is an opportunity to show people that I'm an authority figure.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37012

38. Hello, everyone. If I might have a moment of your time. It's come to my attention that people have been watching and laughing at a hurtful parody video. It is now forbidden to talk, joke about, or e-mail this around.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37013

39. And that's straight from corporate. So not to be scary, but yeah, I would listen to me. And that's all. Ciao.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37015

40. Guys, why don't we leave the parodies to the pros at Mad TV?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37094

41. Ok.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37096

42. I should probably get involved in this, but I think my energy is better spent on the Cookie Monster issue.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37114

43. Ok. Ok there. I heard that. So I'm sorry, Pam, but that's it. I'm going to have to suspend you without pay for two days.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37119

44. Yeah, you're right. You know what? Um, you're suspended too Jim. Ok fine. You too Dwight.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37122

45. I don't want to hear it. Suspended.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37124

46. So I can reprimand them but I can't suspend them. Oh I can't do either. Uh huh. Fair enough.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37146

47. Hey everyone. Hi. Quite an afternoon, huh? Cathartic in a way. I'm glad I got to share it with you. It makes you think about what's really important. It's not about showing you're in charge or flexing some sort of authority. It's about forgiveness. And yes, I'm talking about you three in this desk clump right here. I think that, if you were to apologize to me, then I would revoke your suspension.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37152

48. Great.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37156

49. Guys, I would even take a contrite look as an apology.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37158

50. Guys, to err is human.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37160

51. That was ugly. I'm sorry you had to see that.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37169

52. It's tacky to discuss finances. It's best to pretend that this never happened.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37171

53. Can I buy everyone coffees? 'Or cookies.'

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37174

54. Alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37176

55. You got to be able to laugh at yourself. I'm one of the gang.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37178

56. Why don't we say ciao to the impressions?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Quote 37181

57. You would have weekly conference calls with executives in corporate. A two-week training program at the Yale school of management, obviously you would be high on the list for advancement opportunities.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37264

58. Oh, this is 'Print in All Colors,' Sabre's minority executive training program.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37267

59. You have to be a minority.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37271

60. Those don't really count. We're thinking more ethnic and racial minorities.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37273

61. Hmm?

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37275

62. Well...

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37277

63. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37418

64. Yeah, but she's not white, though.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37420

65. Darryl withdrew his application. He said the Yale program interfered with his softball league, you know? He's gone.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37422

66. Yeah, unless somebody else applies today.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37425

67. That's very nice. I never noticed that before.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37429

68. Yeah. I don't want to be offensive but, uh... may I ask you what that means?

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37431

69. Well, uh... why don't you just tell me a little about yourself, Hide.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37476

70. Everyone, it is my pleasure to announce our newest member of the Sabre minority executive training program. Kelly Rajnigandha Kapoor. All right.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37506

71. They're going to be pretty pleased in Tallahassee that I snagged an Indian for the program. She'll be the first. The program's mostly black. It's almost too black. That didn't sound right.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Quote 37507

72. There's no way that you guys have any almond butter, right?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Quote 37613

73. That's weird. I haven't heard of that happening. I would even settle for apricot preserves.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Quote 37615

74. I don't know. Call HQ, see if they know anything. Yeah. That's what I'll do today. All right. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Quote 37617

75. I talked to corporate. Turns out there have been 12 reports of faulty printers. Out of 400,000. We've investigated. Every time it's been user error. They block the vents or something, I don't know. That's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to reward you for that. That's god for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Quote 37797

76. Guys?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 37989

77. Can you two please join me in my office? Now.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 37992

78. I don't wanna be the heavy here, but honestly, guys, this makes us all look bad.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 37995

79. Good. Okay. End of the dressing down. I just hate that part of the job, you know, the power dynamics.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 37998

80. Okay. That's great, actually, because I wanted to talk to you about something else.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 38001

81. I'm sure you got my email about the printer fires. The one with the branching decision tree? I actually designed that chart. Kinda hoping it catches on. Anyway, the question is, what is the best way to disseminate important information in an efficient way?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Quote 38003

82. Are you leaving? Oh, am I... should I continue with the investigation?

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38333

83. All right. Uh, Stan, you're up.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38343

84. What a rich timbre your voice has. Okay, I am prepared to conclude the investigation. And... you did it.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38345

85. Uh, just all the evidence. And it really seems like it was you. Can we all agree to say that it was Andy for now, and sit with it, see how it feels?

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38347

86. Uh, not now.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38372

87. Hey, guys.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38437

88. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38439

89. I'm gonna head back to Siberia there. Ciao.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38441

90. I started dating Erin this summer. It has been, in a word, exquisite.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38442

91. That'd be hilarious. Uh, 'Jo, they're creating a hostile work environment. Stop 'em.'

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38503

92. Those overnight packages needed to go out, and Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38560

93. Michael, you just physically assaulted an employee. Can we talk in private?

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38624

94. Legal says the best way to protect us from a lawsuit is to call this a stress-induced outburst. You will have to undergo six sessions of counseling.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38645

95. Good. Well, that's the spirit.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38647

96. And, uh, you will do your counseling right here, because our HR staff are all certified counselors.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38649

97. The alternative is termination.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Quote 38653

98. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38801

99. Right, of course!

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38803

100. Thank you so much.

     Season 7 · Episode 2 · Quote 38805