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Gabe Lewis Quotes from The Office

Sabre liaison to the Scranton branch.

437 quotes · page 1 of 5

  1. Oh. Okay. And to you.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34871

  2. Um, hi, uh, my name is Gabe Lewis. I am coordinating director for merging regions.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34875

  3. We are very impressed with this branch and we are so excited about this merger.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34880

  4. Um, actually, if you don't mind, I would love to put this on the Sabre website.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34884

  5. Most of our business comes from selling printers. So don't think of yourselves as paper salesmen anymore, but as printer salesmen who also sell paper.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34907

  6. At Sabre, we really encourage honest communication. You should always feel free to express your thoughts, your -

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34910

  7. We have a policy here at Sabre where we are, uh, allowed to take two weeks.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34912

  8. Actually, that's Nick. He's your new IT guy. Uh, he's setting up a site blocker. Mostly blocking the inappropriate sites. And then there are the time-wasting sites like Twitter, YouTube. We are blocking those as well.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34916

  9. Ok, did everyone get one? With these bottles, we eliminate the need for plastic water bottles, which are the scourge of the environment.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34918

  10. Little cups? Like paper or plastic or... ?

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34920

  11. Ok, well, I bet you can fit 20 little cups of water in your aluminum bottle.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34923

  12. Oh, I don't get that sense at all from you, so...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34933

  13. Which ones?

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34935

  14. Well, I wish that I could do something, but it's kind of policy, you know? Above my pay grade. You know?

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34937

  15. You know what? Let me see what I can do.

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34939

  16. First let me say that I told them everything you wanted me to say, in just the way you wanted me to say it, so...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34954

  17. Ok, um, I told the story of your uncle, and I have a feeling that you would have really been proud of the way... Okay, um...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34956

  18. I don't - it's just...

    Season 6 · Episode 14 · Line 34958

  19. This is Michael Scott, co-regional manager of this branch.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Line 35130

  20. This is Accounting.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Line 35143

  21. Over here is Meredith Palmer and Creed Bratton.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Line 35146

  22. That is Jim Halpert, he is the co-regional manager of this office.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Line 35148

  23. Oh, he is. He's the co-manager, and that's the other co-manager.

    Season 6 · Episode 15 · Line 35150

  24. Um. I set my stuff up in there. So... just give me a few minutes to clean that out for you.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36113

  25. You never know with Jo. Sometimes we're here til midnight. Sometimes she doesn't show up for three days.

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36265

  26. Yeah, that would be awesome. I could get a girlfriend. Wouldn't have to go to Amsterdam seven times a year. But uh, I'm young, right? I will date when I'm dead!

    Season 6 · Episode 17 · Line 36267

  27. Michael, we spent a lot of money on those leads. You have to give them out.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36384

  28. Michael, I don't want to incentivise murder. But - we've tried to make it clear that our policy emphasises sales staff -

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36386

  29. But you do. You are in charge -

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36388

  30. - of supporting the sales staff. You are required to hand out those leads, Michael.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36390

  31. Okay, good.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36392

  32. Good.

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36394

  33. Why do you keep repeating -

    Season 6 · Episode 18 · Line 36396

  34. This is violent and offensive.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37006

  35. It's awful.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37008

  36. You have some food on your face.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37010

  37. The beginning here has been a little bit of a fiasco. Either they don't respect me or they respect me too much. And some of them still think that I'm the I.T. guy. This Cookie Monster thing is an opportunity to show people that I'm an authority figure.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37012

  38. Hello, everyone. If I might have a moment of your time. It's come to my attention that people have been watching and laughing at a hurtful parody video. It is now forbidden to talk, joke about, or e-mail this around.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37013

  39. And that's straight from corporate. So not to be scary, but yeah, I would listen to me. And that's all. Ciao.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37015

  40. Guys, why don't we leave the parodies to the pros at Mad TV?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37094

  41. Ok.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37096

  42. I should probably get involved in this, but I think my energy is better spent on the Cookie Monster issue.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37114

  43. Ok. Ok there. I heard that. So I'm sorry, Pam, but that's it. I'm going to have to suspend you without pay for two days.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37119

  44. Yeah, you're right. You know what? Um, you're suspended too Jim. Ok fine. You too Dwight.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37122

  45. I don't want to hear it. Suspended.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37124

  46. So I can reprimand them but I can't suspend them. Oh I can't do either. Uh huh. Fair enough.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37146

  47. Hey everyone. Hi. Quite an afternoon, huh? Cathartic in a way. I'm glad I got to share it with you. It makes you think about what's really important. It's not about showing you're in charge or flexing some sort of authority. It's about forgiveness. And yes, I'm talking about you three in this desk clump right here. I think that, if you were to apologize to me, then I would revoke your suspension.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37152

  48. Great.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37156

  49. Guys, I would even take a contrite look as an apology.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37158

  50. Guys, to err is human.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37160

  51. That was ugly. I'm sorry you had to see that.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37169

  52. It's tacky to discuss finances. It's best to pretend that this never happened.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37171

  53. Can I buy everyone coffees? 'Or cookies.'

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37174

  54. Alright.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37176

  55. You got to be able to laugh at yourself. I'm one of the gang.

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37178

  56. Why don't we say ciao to the impressions?

    Season 6 · Episode 20 · Line 37181

  57. You would have weekly conference calls with executives in corporate. A two-week training program at the Yale school of management, obviously you would be high on the list for advancement opportunities.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37264

  58. Oh, this is 'Print in All Colors,' Sabre's minority executive training program.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37267

  59. You have to be a minority.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37271

  60. Those don't really count. We're thinking more ethnic and racial minorities.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37273

  61. Hmm?

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37275

  62. Well...

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37277

  63. What?

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37418

  64. Yeah, but she's not white, though.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37420

  65. Darryl withdrew his application. He said the Yale program interfered with his softball league, you know? He's gone.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37422

  66. Yeah, unless somebody else applies today.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37425

  67. That's very nice. I never noticed that before.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37429

  68. Yeah. I don't want to be offensive but, uh... may I ask you what that means?

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37431

  69. Well, uh... why don't you just tell me a little about yourself, Hide.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37476

  70. Everyone, it is my pleasure to announce our newest member of the Sabre minority executive training program. Kelly Rajnigandha Kapoor. All right.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37506

  71. They're going to be pretty pleased in Tallahassee that I snagged an Indian for the program. She'll be the first. The program's mostly black. It's almost too black. That didn't sound right.

    Season 6 · Episode 21 · Line 37507

  72. There's no way that you guys have any almond butter, right?

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37613

  73. That's weird. I haven't heard of that happening. I would even settle for apricot preserves.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37615

  74. I don't know. Call HQ, see if they know anything. Yeah. That's what I'll do today. All right. Yeah.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37617

  75. I talked to corporate. Turns out there have been 12 reports of faulty printers. Out of 400,000. We've investigated. Every time it's been user error. They block the vents or something, I don't know. That's why we have the fine print. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. So I'd like to reward you for that. That's god for five bucks at Dunkin' Donuts. Any Dunkin' Donuts.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37797

  76. Guys?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37989

  77. Can you two please join me in my office? Now.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37992

  78. I don't wanna be the heavy here, but honestly, guys, this makes us all look bad.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37995

  79. Good. Okay. End of the dressing down. I just hate that part of the job, you know, the power dynamics.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37998

  80. Okay. That's great, actually, because I wanted to talk to you about something else.

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38001

  81. I'm sure you got my email about the printer fires. The one with the branching decision tree? I actually designed that chart. Kinda hoping it catches on. Anyway, the question is, what is the best way to disseminate important information in an efficient way?

    Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 38003

  82. Are you leaving? Oh, am I... should I continue with the investigation?

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38333

  83. All right. Uh, Stan, you're up.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38343

  84. What a rich timbre your voice has. Okay, I am prepared to conclude the investigation. And... you did it.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38345

  85. Uh, just all the evidence. And it really seems like it was you. Can we all agree to say that it was Andy for now, and sit with it, see how it feels?

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38347

  86. Uh, not now.

    Season 6 · Episode 24 · Line 38372

  87. Hey, guys.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38437

  88. Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38439

  89. I'm gonna head back to Siberia there. Ciao.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38441

  90. I started dating Erin this summer. It has been, in a word, exquisite.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38442

  91. That'd be hilarious. Uh, 'Jo, they're creating a hostile work environment. Stop 'em.'

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38503

  92. Those overnight packages needed to go out, and Michael refuses to hold the guilty party accountable.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38560

  93. Michael, you just physically assaulted an employee. Can we talk in private?

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38624

  94. Legal says the best way to protect us from a lawsuit is to call this a stress-induced outburst. You will have to undergo six sessions of counseling.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38645

  95. Good. Well, that's the spirit.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38647

  96. And, uh, you will do your counseling right here, because our HR staff are all certified counselors.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38649

  97. The alternative is termination.

    Season 7 · Episode 1 · Line 38653

  98. Yeah.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38801

  99. Right, of course!

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38803

  100. Thank you so much.

    Season 7 · Episode 2 · Line 38805