CFO of Dunder Mifflin and inventor of Suck It.
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Please do not text anybody, now, Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 10 · Quote 34068
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Jim, what the hell is happening there?
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34322
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Yes.
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34324
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Just so I understand, you started Employee of the Month, give it to yourself, then people complain, so you give it to your wife?
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34326
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Am I missing something?
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34328
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Jim, I bumped you up because I thought you could make my life easier. If you can't do that, we're going to have a separate discussion.
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34331
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Uh, hey, I'm sorry. I'm taking this out on you.
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34333
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It's been crazy here. You know I think you're doing a great job, right?
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34335
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Okay. Hey, we still on for dinner this weekend?
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34339
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Okay.
Season 6 · Episode 11 · Quote 34342
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Yes Michael, what is so urgent?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34573
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I'm not going to guess. You can tell me or I am going to hang up.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34575
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Michael...
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34577
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Michael-
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34579
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This is a very very bad time.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34581
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Stephanie, can you hop off please?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34583
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Listen, I shouldn't tell you this, but the company has a buyer. The board will have no choice to approve. They are going to clean house.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34588
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I'll be fired.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34590
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Alan will be out too. All of us.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34592
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Goodbye Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34594
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Hey Sweetie, what is it?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34642
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What the hell?
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34644
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Michael, I have never-
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34646
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Ever, ever...
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34648
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Hello everyone.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34652
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You weren't supposed to tell anyone Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34654
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I am not supposed to... Okay. Guys. I was really only talking about Alan, myself, a few other execs you don't know.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34656
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Look. They're buying the company for the distribution. You guys are the only thing about this company that works. So congratulations.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34659
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No! No, and congratulations.
Season 6 · Episode 12 · Quote 34661
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Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34989
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No, you kidding? Come on in. Come on.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34991
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You look great.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34993
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You hungry? I'm just having lunch.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34995
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Fantastic. Teddy, look who just stopped in.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 34997
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Keep it up, son.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35000
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Yeah.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35003
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Things not going so well there?
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35005
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I have a doctor's appointment next Thursday.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35007
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Uh, no, sweetie. I just sort of hung out.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35010
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No. Just hanging out, honey. You remember Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35012
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Uh, but maybe, uh - actually, you know, I think maybe we'll go outside. May -maybe we'll go outside. Outside.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35016
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I don't know. I mean, what can you do?
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35036
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I, I - It's a tough one.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35038
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I don't have any ideas for you there.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35040
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Hey, oh, okay. Wait.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35042
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I want to tell you about a business idea I have.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35044
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Ok? You know how kids leave their toys everywhere? Okay. So this is a vacuum. It's like a shop-vac type of thing. Teaches kids how to pick up their own toys. Right? Baseball gloves, hacky sacks, drumsticks. Picks it up!
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35046
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No. No, no, no. That's the -that's the vacuum noise.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35048
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You-you don't like it.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35050
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No, it's ok. Another guy from Dunder Mifflin, Arnie from Research, he's gonna draw up the prototype. And, uh... It's like shop-vac. Did I say that?
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35052
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It'll be ok.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35054
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Hey, you know, if you want, I'm sure I can get Arnie on board if you wanted to join us for suck it. Work together again.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35061
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Suck it. That's what it's called.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35063
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Huh? Catchy. Kids'll love it.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35065
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Oh, Michael.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35069
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Thank you for coming.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35071
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Well, it's a mess, what a mess. What you gonna do? You're going to take out your Suck It and you suck it. Suck it. Yeah, take out your Suck It and you suck it.
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35087
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Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35089
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Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35091
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Yeah! Take out the Suck It and we'll...
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35093
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Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35095
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Yeah!
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35097
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Yeah! Teddy!
Season 6 · Episode 14 · Quote 35099
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I may have heard from an old client, and I may have immediately started spreading the news to other clients and potential clients, yeah. But I'm not here to talk about that. I am here to talk about Suck It. Suck it.
Season 6 · Episode 24 · Quote 38366
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What you doing?
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42246
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You picked on the wrong person, I can tell you that.
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42248
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Yeah big time, yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42250
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Ooh! David Brent, my liege. How are you?
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42252
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Oh, there you go. I do characters as well. I got a Chinese fella. He's called Ho Li. That's what it sounds like.
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42254
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Herrow! Herrow!
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42256
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You can't do that these days. You can't.
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42258
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No, no. No, comedy is a place where the mind goes to tickle itself. That's what she said.. Ohh.
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42260
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Where are you working?
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42262
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Any jobs now?
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42264
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Just let me know.
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42266
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All right.
Season 7 · Episode 13 · Quote 42268
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Andy Bernard!
Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52107
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How you doing, I'm great! How you doing, are you still with Dunder Mifflin?
Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52109
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Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52111
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That's the attitude to have. You know what, when I got canned, I was lost, right? I poured myself into this ridiculous vacuum for toys called Suck-It.
Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52113
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Yeah, exactly right? Then suddenly out of nowhere, the US military bought the patent from me for twenty million dollars! The point is, forget those guys, k? Move on! Good to see you, Andy!
Season 8 · Episode 22 · Quote 52115
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Andy Bernard.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52487
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Um' I'm in the middle of a piano lesson.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52489
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Dunder Mifflin. Now' why would I want that? It's worth half of what it was three years ago.
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52491
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Why don't you come in?
Season 8 · Episode 23 · Quote 52493
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Hey guys, long time.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52722
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Okay, I guess the word is out. Uh, please keep this a secret, but yes, I've been talking with Andy-
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52725
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I'll get to that in a second, Andy.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52727
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Yes, as we've discussed-
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52729
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But it's very possible-
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52731
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Probable.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52733
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Yep.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52735
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There's an official announcement, a few details to be-
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52737
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Now that is a great question, Stanley. Right now I think all your operations or most of your operations are pretty much down in Florida, so to shift back up-
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52740
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Actually, nothing is gonna be a part of Sabre anymore. Jo Bennett's planning on liquidating the rest of the company.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52743
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Ah, I didn't realize you were standing there.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52745
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Well, okay. Great to meet you.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52747
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Pleasure.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52749
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That's very gracious of you, Bob. I would love that.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52751
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Okay everyone. I had a conversation with Bob, and since I am going to be CEO now there'll be no need for him.
Season 8 · Episode 24 · Quote 52776