CFO of Dunder Mifflin and inventor of Suck It.
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I'm sorry to hear the hotel was bad.
Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25220
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Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey.
Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25222
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Michael, please lets listen for a second.
Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25224
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Michael, sometimes---
Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25226
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Sometimes, we--
Season 5 · Episode 7 · Quote 25228
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Michael, is everyone okay?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25277
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I don't understand, is anyone hurt?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25279
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Michael, you texted me, 911 CALL ME.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25281
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All in caps. Do you know what 911 means?
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25283
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Now what I'm curious about is how you were able to go an entire a week without knowing a member of your staff was there.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25285
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Okay, I have to go.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25289
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No.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25291
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Not without cause, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25293
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You have to get along with Toby.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25295
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Yep.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25297
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Goodbye, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 8 · Quote 25299
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Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25802
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Is this why you're calling me?
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25804
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Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25806
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You want me to weigh in on a minor budget issue?
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25808
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Well if I were you, I would just return the surplus and take the bonus.
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25810
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Branch managers who come in under budget get 15% of the savings.
Season 5 · Episode 9 · Quote 25812
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So listen, Michael, your branch has been doing great lately, and your sales staff is reporting very strong numbers. Out-performing last year, in fact. Um, and I don't know exactly how to put this, but... what are you doing right?
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26268
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Utica, Albany, all the other branches are struggling, but your branch is reporting strong numbers. Look, you're not our most traditional guy, but clearly, something you are doing... is right. And I just, I need to get a sense of what that is.
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26270
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Here's the thing. Michael is doing something right. And in this economic climate, no method of success can be ignored. It's not really time for executives to start getting judgmental now. It's Hail Mary time.
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26274
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What say we do.
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26276
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It's hard to try and evaluate yourself, Michael, but I appreciate you trying. And thanks for coming in.
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26345
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Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26347
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Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26349
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Yeah, finish up.
Season 5 · Episode 11 · Quote 26351
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Hi Michael how are you?
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26411
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So listen, as you know, we haven't yet filled the regional supervisor job.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26413
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Correct. And I was wondering if I could get you to do some of the field work that would normally go to the supervisor. There is an area from Carbondale to Marshbrook, where we have never done any business.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26415
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There is a small company there, Prince Paper. I can't get a report on it because it's not a public company. But we have been talking about going after their market, so I was hoping you could do some fact finding for me.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26417
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I'll fax over some of the things we're looking for.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26419
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Look, this is important, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26421
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This is good stuff Michael. You are a titan of industry pal.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26650
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Good work.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26652
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Look I'll be in touch, thanks buddy.
Season 5 · Episode 12 · Quote 26654
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How could you possibly think this is a good idea?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26737
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You could have burned down the whole building.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26741
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No, we are mad.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26757
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No, we're not.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26759
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Look, this is very serious offense. We have cause to fire you.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26761
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Michael, you have to take responsibility here. One of your employees had a heart attack. He could have died, because of the way that you are allowing your office to run. Do you want that on your conscious?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26766
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Michael?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26768
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Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26770
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Could you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy?
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26873
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We had to pay for it. Cost us thirty five hundred dollars.
Season 5 · Episode 13 · Quote 26875
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Michael, what the hell is going on here?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28000
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Fine. What is going on?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28002
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Why did you OK this golden ticket idea? We're going to lose a fortune, Michael. How could you let this happen?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28004
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How could you not know Michael?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28006
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Might have hi--- OK, what firm?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28008
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Michael?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28010
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Was it the sales department?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28012
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Was it Jim?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28014
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OK, was it Dwight?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28016
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That's too bad.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28084
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Hopefully, nothing that can't be undone because Dwight I owe you an apology. The head of Blue Cross just called. They were so excited about the golden ticket discount that they have decided to make Dunder Mifflin their exclusive provider of all office supplies. Congratulations Dwight.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28086
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I just want to say that this golden ticket idea is one of the most brilliant signs of initiative I have ever seen at this company and how about a big round of applause for Mr. Dwight Schrute?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28088
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Alright Dwight. This is huge.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28089
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This, this is great. OH, OK, look I want to get you on the horn with the marketing people in New York. The should meet you.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28104
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Pam, could you set up a call in there in about 15 minutes, please?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28106
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Yeah?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28111
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You probably have too much to do around here. I don't want to uh, take up your time with another meeting.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28113
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Hey guys, I have with me Dwight Schrute. Dwight, take it away.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28116
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No. No dogs.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28119
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We are gonna call you back guys. What is going on here?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28126
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No, no.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28128
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Guys, guys. OK, enough. Please, enough. What, is this true, Dwight? I mean, is this true?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28142
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What, I don't -- what do you want me to do now, Michael? What am I supposed to do now?
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28145
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OK, uhh... I am going back to New York. Pam, do me a favor, don't send me those notes.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28147
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I am gone.
Season 5 · Episode 17 · Quote 28149
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What gave you that idea?
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28290
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I see.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28292
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Look, Michael, Charles is very qualified. Get to know him. I really think the two of you are going to make a great team.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28294
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You're still the branch manager, yes, and if you need anything else at all, just let Charles know.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28296
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I'll give it my best shot, Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28299
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No.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28303
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Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28429
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How did you get here, Michael?
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28431
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Ok.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28433
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Michael. Listen-
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28435
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Well, I didn't know about the figs, specifically. . .
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28437
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That's not exactly-
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28439
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No.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28441
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Yes.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28443
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We didn't ask you to do that.
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28445
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Yeah. You're right. Yes. I get it. I get it, Michael. Here's what I'm going to do-
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28463
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We will move some money around, and I will personally see to it that you have your party, you have your figs. I will be in attendance. It's gonna be great. How's that?
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28465
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What?
Season 5 · Episode 18 · Quote 28467
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Would you let Charles know that David is here, please? Jim, hey.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29647
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A lot better than a month at the Scranton Radisson, I'm sure.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29651
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Hmmm.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29653
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Uh.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29655
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You know, I just want to address everyone first.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29658
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Hi, everyone.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29660
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Hi. Uh, look it's no secret--
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29662
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Hello. Uh, it is no secret that Michael Scott Paper has siphoned off a large chunk of our core business. And I'm here-- I just want to assure everyone that we think this is just a temporary setback.
Season 5 · Episode 23 · Quote 29664