David Wallace Quotes from The Office

CFO of Dunder Mifflin and inventor of Suck It.

493 quotes · page 1 of 5

1. David

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2. Nice to meet you.

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3. OK. So we are in the process of doing a complete review of the company's financial strengths. All I'd like to do today is to...

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4. Thanks very much.

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5. OK, Michael.

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6. Wow. OK, OK, thank you Michael, that was great.

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7. But, for right now what, I would really like to know about is the branch's performance, so do you have that information as well?

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8. So, does that mean you don't have the numbers on your branch?

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9. You understand this is a very serious situation.

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10. You made a joke?

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11. Well I don't need to explain to you that even a joke about sexual relations with your boss...

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12. Good.

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13. Jan, glad you could make it.

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14. Of course I do.

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15. About 5,000.

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16. I don't know

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17. This was a gift from Lee Iacocca. Twenty year old, single malt scotch.

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18. Sure.

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19. God, I hate these parties. Do you want to sneak out back and shoot some hoops? Meet me outside in two minutes.

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20. What's ah, what's with Jan and Michael?

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21. Michael, I am calling---

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22. Jan is out of town right now.

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23. Michael?

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24. Michael?

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25. Michael?

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26. I am calling to see if you can come down and interview for a job we have opening in corporate.

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27. Week from today. Bring your first quarter stats and your recommendation for who would take over the Scranton Branch.

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28. That's not necessary.

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29. Yes.

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30. Oh, Michael?

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31. Isn't our interview tomorrow?

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32. You happened to be in mid-town Mahattan?

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33. In the middle of a work day?

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34. Okay.

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35. We're only interviewing the branch managers and some other upper level company people.

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36. I don't think so.

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37. I believe we put you in charge.

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38. Okay, Michael.

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39. I'm really looking forward to our interview.

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40. Michael, good to see you!

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41. Oh, great. I've been meaning to thank you by the way. You didn't lose a single customer during the merger, and you still managed to trim the budget? That is nice work. So, let me ask you a question right off the bat. What do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?

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42. Okay. And your strengths?

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43. Oh. Yes. Very good.

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44. Very good.

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45. What do you think we could be doing better?

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46. Okay!

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47. Thanks for comin' in, Michael.

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48. It is always a treat when our paths cross.

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49. You're back together.

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50. Okay, uh. Well, I thought it was clear in the description, the position... the job you're applying for... is Jan's job.

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51. No, we're letting Jan go.

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52. Okay. Uh, now, this may seem like an odd question, but...

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53. ...what do you think about Michael Scott?

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54. This is off the record.

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55. Jan, this isn't the time, we're in an interview---

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56. Frankly, it's overdue. Your behavior in the last two years has been completely erratic.

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57. Recently, you don't even show an interest in your work! You smoke constantly in your office. You spend most of the day online shopping. You disappear for hours at a time, sometimes days. Always saying you're visiting your sister in Scottsdale. You go to Scranton far more often than you used to---

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58. It's not.

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59. It's not.

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60. The time has come for you to end your professional relationship with this company. You are clearly unstable.

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61. Actually, Michael, I think we're gonna take it in another direction.

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62. No, we're not giving you the job.

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63. I do.

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64. Yes.

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65. I don't know how I feel about hiring a Sixers fan.

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66. Uh, let me ask you a question, Jim. You're clearly a very bright guy.

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67. Always hit your numbers, personable, you make a great impression on everyone you meet---

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68. Uh, oh, hey, do you have your quarterly numbers?

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69. And that, uh, questionnaire. Sorry to make you fill that thing out...

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70. ...that's a HR formality. We have this very irritating HR guy here, he's probably the only person you're not gonna like. Kendall. Ugh. So, first up...

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71. How do you think you function here in New York?

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72. You've been in the Scranton branch a long time. What have you liked most about that place?

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73. Okay. Well, we want the person who takes this position to be here for the long haul. So... long haul. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

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74. So, I know we left the other day on a note of uncertainty. But, after some more thought, I'm very pleased to be able to offer you this job. Great! I'm so glad. We're all very excited you're going to be joining us. It'll be nice to have another MBA around here.

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75. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

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76. A... multivitamin?

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77. Michael, David Wallace. What is this about dismissing the ad people?

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78. This is weird.

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79. Okay, I'll see it tomorrow.

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80. Michael. I am very sorry.

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81. No, no, no, no, no. This was rough. We never meant for you to get caught in the middle of this. I'm very sorry.

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82. Yeah?

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83. Thanks, Michael.

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84. Hey.

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85. Thank you Michael, thanks, thanks everybody. I'd like to auction off a weekend at my place in Martha's Vineyard. Hey, hey!

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86. 200

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87. 350

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88. No, I did not know that Michael was dating Holly.

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89. Do you have your passport?

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90. Got your per diem?

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91. Michael, the... that's for your food.

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92. I was happy to send Michael on this trip. He's been feeling pretty down since we had to transfer Holly up to New Hampshire. But this little perk really seemed to turn him around. And it's pretty tough to find somebody who wants to go up to Winnipeg mid-November.

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93. Well, I'm just glad to know you're happy because you know I felt bad.

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94. And in terms of nightlife, when you get there just ask the concierge.

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95. Hey! I just heard you guys made the sale.

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96. Good, very good. See, told you. Sounds like somebody had a good trip.

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97. Excuse me?

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98. What are you talking about?

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99. Okay.

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100. The hotel? What, M--- okay.

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