Creed Bratton Quotes from The Office (page 3)

Quality assurance, allegedly.

456 quotes · page 3 of 5

1. I don't get the big fuss here, I like the site.

   Season 4 · Episode 11 · Line 21131

2. Hank, his name is Hank.

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3. A lot of jazz cats are blind, but they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam without her glasses and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless.

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4. Yeah, and I finished my work months ago!

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5. Hiya Pumpkin, it's Creed.

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6. Say, we're gonna ditch this bitch. You in?

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7. Are you out? Pumpkin's out, let's go gang!

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8. The pleasure's all mine.

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9. Any time.

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10. ...Excuse me.

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11. What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. 'What do I do?'... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. 'Qua' something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual...quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close.

    Season 4 · Episode 14 · Line 22118

12. Hey, it's the kid! Look, look, look, look, look! Hey! It's the temp! Look!

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13. It's the temp!

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14. Mm-hmm.

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15. I gave Toby my buddy Jorge's number in Costa. He'll hook Toby up with everything: cable TV, women, oh, and this amazing coffee to snort.

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16. I can bring these to my shelter.

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17. Fright. Being scared to death.

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18. Oh nothing.

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19. That wasn't a tapeworm.

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20. Hell of an ass.

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21. The tall guy got engaged.

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22. I've done some things I'm not proud of. Committed some atrocities in Vietnam, uh, two years ago. Princess Cruise Lines.

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23. Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.

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24. Ugh.

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25. Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.

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26. Yeah, that's all-inclusive.

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27. Let's put a smile on that face!

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28. It's pronounced Ker-nell. It's the highest rank in the military.

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29. One more week.

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30. Cool beans, man, I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.

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31. Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave.

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32. The balls on you, man.

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33. I can get you one in an hour.

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34. You are welcome.

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35. Yeah.

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36. Ah, Hillary Swank.

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37. You were in the parking lot earlier. That's how I know you.

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38. He has no wallet, I checked.

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39. Give it up, he's dead.

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40. What's a text?

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41. This gal, she's really into you?

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42. All right, all right. Say no more. So, this is how I got squeaky fromme. No small talk. Just show her who's the boss. Just go right in and kiss her.

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43. Have I ever steered you wrong, Jim?

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44. I'd like to contribute.

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45. There you go.

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46. For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.

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47. Bonnie Hunt is on.

    Season 5 · Episode 15 · Line 27546

48. That's not why.

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49. Good work, kid.

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50. The real question here is who's this guy work for?

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51. Ah, it's all starting to make sense now.

    Season 5 · Episode 18 · Line 28475

52. I think it's 75 cents.

    Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28548

53. Oh, he does. He does.

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54. These are terrible boss. You gotta make them in a circle so that they cook evenly.

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55. Well I don't even want these.

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56. It's crazy what's going on out there today, huh?

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57. Sometimes it's best just to say out of it.

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58. Want to play a game?

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59. No. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do that, I'm gonna do that. IF you do this, I'm gonna do that.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30042

60. You don't want to do that.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30044

61. So hey, I'm want to set you up with my daughter.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30121

62. I thought you were gay.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30123

63. I don't know.

    Season 5 · Episode 24 · Line 30125

64. Challenge.

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65. I hear it, too, Boss.

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66. Boss, this used to hang from my windshield but it belongs in here.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30429

67. No problem. I'll just have no idea who's driving behind me now.

    Season 5 · Episode 25 · Line 30431

68. Hey, did one of you tell Stanley I have asthma? Because I don't, and if it gets out, they won't let me scuba.

    Season 6 · Episode 1 · Line 31013

69. If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about? What am I working toward?

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70. I heard that from... Andy.

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71. Come on, boss.

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72. How far along?

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73. Who's the OB/GYN?

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74. They've been in there a while.

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75. Can't be good.

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76. Think they're talking about me?

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77. Yeah, that makes way more sense. Okay thanks boss.

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78. Hey, why haven't we ever, um...

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79. Yes.

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80. Yep.

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81. Uh, small things. Peas, ball bearings, dimes...

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82. She's messed up man...

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83. I want to sell your blood!

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84. Hey, boss, did you find Nemo?

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85. Oh, you're payin' way too much for your worms, man. Who's your worm guy?

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86. Thank God.

    Season 6 · Episode 8 · Line 33289

87. Something's up. That paper was never supposed to arrive.

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88. Sorry I'm late, boss. What's going on?

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89. OK. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and I'll be right back.

    Season 6 · Episode 9 · Line 33719

90. I don't know, man. I just don't know.

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91. Guys, I'm starting to think Pam's not really even pregnant.

    Season 6 · Episode 11 · Line 34281

92. What if you've been bad?

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93. What if you've been really, really bad? More evil, and strictly wrong?

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94. Have you tried making everything smaller?

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95. Have fun!

    Season 6 · Episode 16 · Line 35634

96. Oh, come on!

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97. You ever notice you can ooze two things: sexuality and pus. Man, I tell ya.

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98. Psst...

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99. So there I am, minding my own business and Darnell offers me three bucks. All I gotta do is walk by Andy and go like this. Darnell's a chump. I would have done it for anything. I've done a lot more for a lot less.

    Season 6 · Episode 22 · Line 37739

100. Curve the bullet. Like in my favorite James McAvoy film, Wanted.

     Season 6 · Episode 23 · Line 37860