"The Whale" Quotes

Every line from The Office season 9, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 15, 2012.

294 quotes · page 1 of 3

  1. Andy

    Ah, what else? I've seen Dirty Dancing like, ten times. Breaks my heart every time, you know?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54454

  2. Everyone

    Whoa!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54455

  3. Pam

    Andy.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54456

  4. Andy

    That Swayze sure can dance dirty.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54457

  5. Phyllis

    Don't you have any sunblock?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54458

  6. Andy

    No, Walter J has been hoarding it. You want to worry about a part of my body, worry about my eyes. They're like two flaming meatballs in my skull.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54459

  7. Erin

    Last week Andy set sail for the Bahamas to sell his family's boat, and he took his brother, but not me. I was kind of sad at first, but then I remembered that Bob Marley song -- No, woman. No cry.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54460

  8. Andy

    Check this out. Keeps my hair out of my stare, also helps me combat the glare bear. That's what I call the sun now.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54461

  9. Darryl

    Andy, it's Darryl. Take your drawers off your head.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54462

  10. Andy

    What else can I show you? Oh, damn it!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54463

  11. Erin

    Oh, Andy, was.. was that your drinking water?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54464

  12. Andy

    Yeah, it was. That's okay though. I got this cool desalinator device. It sucks up sea water through this hose and pumps out fresh water. See, check it out. Ow!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54465

  13. Everyone

    Oh!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54466

  14. Andy

    Ah! That's not good. I better sign off. I hate to get going. I mean these skype sessions are, like, the only thing that keep me sane out here, you know?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54467

  15. Darryl

    He's been sailing for two days.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54468

  16. Andy

    I will leave you with this. The image of a man and his boat. Burn this into your brains.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54469

  17. Erin

    Yeah.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54470

  18. Andy

    No. No! Nooo!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54471

  19. Erin

    Andy? Andy! Andy! Andy. Oh.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54472

  20. Dwight

    Dwight Schrute. Well, hi there David Wallace. Why would you ever call me when the manager is out of town?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54473

  21. David

    Well, I have some very exciting news.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54474

  22. Dwight

    And you didn't call Jim - that seems significant.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54475

  23. Jim

    Hi, David.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54476

  24. David

    Jim, good! You should hear this too.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54477

  25. Dwight

    No, he shouldn't.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54478

  26. Jim

    Go ahead David, I'm listening.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54479

  27. Dwight

    Okay, David, I want to take you off speaker but... I don't know where I'd put you.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54480

  28. David

    Guys, listen, this is big news. The Scranton White Pages just got in contact with my office the day before yesterday. They've apparently just dropped the supplier they've been with for the last ten years. .

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54481

  29. Dwight

    The White Pages.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54482

  30. Dwight

    The White Pages: Do you want it? No. Do you use it? No. Does it inexplicably show up on your doorstep three times a year? Yes, yes, and yes. There's a reason that we in the paper industry call this thing 'the White Whale'. Look at all that sweet blubber.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54483

  31. David

    Look, we need our top salesman running point on this and Dwight, that is you.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54484

  32. Dwight

    I'm gonna need to put you on hold for a second. Hah! Yah! Woooo! Eat it Jim! Eat it Phyllis! Eat... where's Stanley?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54485

  33. Erin

    He's in the bathroom.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54486

  34. Dwight

    Will you run into the bathroom and tell him to eat it?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54487

  35. Erin

    Of course.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54488

  36. Dwight

    Yeah! Okay. Hey David, I'm back.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54489

  37. Erin

    Eat it Stanley!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54490

  38. Dwight

    So uh, last I remember Tom Peterman was in charge of that account?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54491

  39. David

    No, I spoke with the receptionist over there. It's someone new but she didn't catch her name.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54492

  40. Dwight

    Her name?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54493

  41. Phyllis

    No, hey, Dwight shouldn't...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54494

  42. Dwight

    Shhh! Thanks David! Thank you so much for calling me!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54495

  43. David

    Good luck!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54496

  44. Dwight

    Good luck to you.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54497

  45. Phyllis

    Dwight, you can't go. You have a problem with women. You can't sell to them.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54498

  46. Dwight

    That is a damnable lie. I love women.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54499

  47. Phyllis

    Gina Rogers at Apex Technology said you called her 'gy-na' for your entire meeting.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54500

  48. Nellie

    Ew. That's not good.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54501

  49. Phyllis

    Yeah, she said she corrected him five times.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54502

  50. Dwight

    'Gy-na' said that?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54503

  51. Phyllis

    Guys, we can't let Dwight blow this. An account this size could double our growth. That means raises, bonuses... Pizza Friday could come back.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54504

  52. Meredith

    Hey remember that week in the 90's when we got bagels?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54505

  53. Creed

    I miss Clinton.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54506

  54. Pam

    Can you go instead?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54507

  55. Jim

    I can't. I have the thing.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54508

  56. Jim

    I have this conference call today with this company in Philly that I'm helping start. Ah, first board meeting. Also, the first time I've ever been excited about work. So, that feels... wrong.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54509

  57. Pete

    Okay, call down. It's just me, not Tom Selleck.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54510

  58. Guys in breakroom

    [laughter]

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54511

  59. Kevin

    Nice!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54512

  60. Pete

    Toby got us all to participate in Movember. It's a charity for prostate cancer. You pledge money and then you grow a mustache for the month of November.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54513

  61. Clark

    So, this is how we look now. I hope you like being turned on all the time.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54514

  62. Darryl

    Daaaaamn! It just keeps on coming, huh?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54515

  63. Toby

    I have very fertile hair glands.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54516

  64. Toby

    I am so glad I got all of the dudes to do Movember. We have the dopest time back in the annex.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54517

  65. Clark

    God!

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54518

  66. Toby

    We even go to lunch, pick up babes.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54519

  67. Toby

    Smile if you love men's prostates.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54520

  68. Angela

    Hi.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54521

  69. Oscar

    Hi.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54522

  70. Angela

    Spring cleaning?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54523

  71. Oscar

    More like fall cleaning.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54524

  72. Angela

    I think the senator is having an affair.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54525

  73. Oscar

    This doesn't... I'm sorry. Wha... what?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54526

  74. Angela

    I think the senator is having an affair.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54527

  75. Oscar

    I literally have nightmares in which what just happened happens. I wake up in a sweat. And then I make Angela's husband spoon me back to bed.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54528

  76. Angela

    When he comes home in the morning, he has this secret little smile.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54529

  77. Oscar

    Oh, I'm sure ...that's nothing.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54530

  78. Angela

    And he's always at the yoga studio. He never misses the noon class - it's Hot Yoga with Blake.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54531

  79. Oscar

    Angela, Blake's also a guy's name so he... may be spending his afternoons with a guy named Blake. So nothing to worry about. Huh. Blake. Who is Blake?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54532

  80. Angela

    I don't know.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54533

  81. Oscar

    I just never heard about the senator and yoga...

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54534

  82. Angela

    Right.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54535

  83. Oscar

    From you. I'm sure it's probably nothing. But what's with the yoga already?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54536

  84. Angela

    Right?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54537

  85. Oscar

    And Blake! All right Angela, calm down! We need to go check this out.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54538

  86. Angela

    What?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54539

  87. Oscar

    Angela, I'll go with you.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54540

  88. Phyllis

    So, uh, show us how you'd normally sell to a female client.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54541

  89. Dwight

    Okay. With pleasure. Get ready to learn a few new tricks, old dog.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54542

  90. Pam

    You've got this Schrute.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54543

  91. Phyllis

    Okay, you just walked into her office and begin.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54544

  92. Dwight

    Hello.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54545

  93. Erin

    Hello.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54546

  94. Dwight

    May I please speak to your boss?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54547

  95. Phyllis

    No, she is the boss.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54548

  96. Erin

    I am? Hmm.. Hi, I'm Mr. Hannon. How can I help you?

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54549

  97. Dwight

    Okay, this isn't working for me, 'cause no one would ever believe that she would be a boss.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54550

  98. Erin

    He's absolutely right. I'm really struggling.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54551

  99. Pam

    Oh, I'll be the buyer.

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54552

  100. Dwight

    [sighing]

    Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54553