Every line from The Office season 9, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 15, 2012.
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Pam
Sorry. Um, David is in Vermont. Did you speak with him? He sent Dwight instead.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54654
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Jan
Molly! David Wallace is in Vermont.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54655
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Molly
Oh, my God. Um, I talked to his assistant. And I guess it did get a little confusing 'cause you said not to tell anyone your name. And then also, those bluetooths are very hard to hear with. I know you love the way they look, but Tom never had us use them...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54656
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Jan
Molly. I am not Tom. I am Jan.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54657
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Molly
I'm so sorry Jan.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54658
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Jan
I thought it would be fun to have a little chat with uh, David Wallace after all these years. Oh, well. What are you doing?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54659
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Dwight
Listening.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54660
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Jan
Stop.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54661
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Dwight
Sorry.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54662
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Jan
Stop that.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54663
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Dwight
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54664
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Pam
So this was all just a trick. You don't really have any business to give?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54665
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Jan
No, I do.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54666
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Pam
But not to us.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54667
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Jan
Insightful, Pam.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54668
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Pam
You did good, Dwight. It's okay. I mean, seriously, Jan's not normal. Let's just go. She's not going to sell to us.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54669
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Dwight
Yes, she is. Now, I may not have any instincts with women, but I have an instinct for sales. You keep her occupied. I'll be right back.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54670
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Pam
What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54671
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Jan
Pam?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54672
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54673
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Jan
I'm a very busy woman, so...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54674
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Pam
Yeah. Um, do you have any other pictures of Astrid?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54675
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Jan
Fine. I will show you one... slide show.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54676
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Pete
Erin, did this call...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54677
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Erin
Uh!
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54678
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Pete
What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54679
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Erin
Sorry, I uh, just saw your face.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54680
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Pete
Oh, I'm sorry. It's for the thing.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54681
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Erin
I know. That's great. It just - it makes it look like there's an eyebrow in the middle of your face.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54682
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Pete
Wow.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54683
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Erin
A handsome eyebrow, but, um... it makes your mouth look like an eye socket... which isn't bad.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54684
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Pete
Uh-huh.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54685
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Erin
But um, you look like a cyclops whose eye... fell out... Which is great. It's such a great cause.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54686
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Pete
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54687
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Erin
[chuckles]
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54688
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Jan
Mommy, you're a princess. Mommy, you're a superstar. Mommy you're the greatest. How can I ever fill your sho-o-o-es?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54689
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Pam
Wow. Your voice is as lovely as ever.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54690
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Jan
Aw.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54691
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Pam
And it is so cute how she signs her name.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54692
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Jan
Well, that -- that was -- that was me too.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54693
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Pam
Oh, okay. It's just that's how Cece does it with the backwards 'E's.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54694
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Jan
Cece can't spell her name.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54695
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Pam
Oh, actually she can.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54696
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Jan
Well, it's not really much of a comparison, is it? I mean, 'Cece' is two letters and 'Astrid' is... I mean, there's even some adults who -- who -- who can't spell it.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54697
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Pam
Of course.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54698
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Jan
Can you spell it? Try to spell it, Pam.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54699
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Pam
Um... 'A'... 'X'? I don't -- you got me.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54700
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Jan
Don't patronize me.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54701
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Pam
I'm so sorry. I hate this. You're better.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54702
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Angela
Okay, we should go now. Let's go.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54703
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Oscar
Just wait. Just a minute. Just watch.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54704
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Angela
Wait. Why are you... Oh. are you getting your jollies right now? Can't get enough of the show? Your jollies are all on fire --
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54705
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Oscar
Please. It's Robert who's enjoying it.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54706
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Angela
What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54707
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Oscar
This could be the affair that you're scared of. Politicians are wonderful liars. You never know who they really are. But uh, he's probably not gay. He's straight. He's straight, so...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54708
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Pam
Mm. Excuse me. Could I get some more water?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54709
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Jan
No.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54710
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Dwight
Jan... You thought I had no more cards left to play. Well I've got one. Man-boy! The Ace of Babes.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54711
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Pam
Oh, my God.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54712
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Clark
Where's the Quizno's?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54713
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Dwight
You're the Quizno's. Jan, may I introduce to you your own personal Dunder Mifflin liaison, devoted to servicing this account with total client satisfaction. I sensed that Molly wasn't quite meeting your needs -- nothing like, uh, your old assistant... Hunter. Was that his name?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54714
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Jan
I -- I --
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54715
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Dwight
Hmm?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54716
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Jan
I don't recall. And yes, Molly is crap.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54717
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Pam
Okay, you do not have to do this.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54718
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Clark
Do what? Get into sales? That's what I want.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54719
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Dwight
He's been growing that mustache for weeks. Best he can do... So young.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54720
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Jan
Will you uh, you. Can you turn around for me, please? Dwight you can go. I will call you in a week or so and let you know whether I want your business.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54721
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Dwight
Very good.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54722
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Jan
Do you have a valid passport?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54723
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Jim
Jim Halpert.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54724
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Colin
Hey, it's Colin.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54725
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Jim
Hey man. I am so sorry about that.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54726
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Colin
I know. Don't worry about it.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54727
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Jim
[laughs]
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54728
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Colin
It's just... it's not totally working.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54729
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Jim
Yeah. No, I know. This whole telecommuting thing -- not ideal. But don't worry. I'll figure it out.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54730
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Colin
Yeah, well, it's not just not ideal. I mean, with you there, I don't know how we're gonna do this.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54731
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Jim
Uh, what does -- what does that mean?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54732
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Angela
Oscar, what is happening here? Why would you say you think the senator might be gay?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54733
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Oscar
I don't know, Angela. I'm dehydrated. Maybe... You heard me wrong. We should just go.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54734
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Angela
Look, look, look. Here he comes. Here he comes. What is he doing?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54735
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Oscar
He's making a phone call.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54736
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Angela
Oh. Oh.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54737
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Oscar
[phone vibrates, rings]
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54738
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Pam
Oh, hey, Molly. You should just quit.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54739
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Molly
Thanks. Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54740
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Dwight
Oh and uh, Molly... I know it can't be easy working for Jan. Good luck with your feelings.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54741
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Pam
Dwight, that was really nice. You should ask for her number.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54742
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Dwight
Oh, I got her number. 415-YCL.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54743
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Pam
That's a license number?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54744
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Dwight
That's all you need. And when I have curried favor with her, I will let you know.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54745
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Pam
Oh. Why me?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54746
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Dwight
Because you are my friend and you are a woman... And women love gossip. It's like air to you people. Ugh, God.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Line 54747