Every quote from The Office season 9, episode 7, in script order. First aired November 15, 2012.
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Pam
Sorry. Um, David is in Vermont. Did you speak with him? He sent Dwight instead.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54654
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Jan
Molly! David Wallace is in Vermont.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54655
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Molly
Oh, my God. Um, I talked to his assistant. And I guess it did get a little confusing 'cause you said not to tell anyone your name. And then also, those bluetooths are very hard to hear with. I know you love the way they look, but Tom never had us use them...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54656
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Jan
Molly. I am not Tom. I am Jan.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54657
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Molly
I'm so sorry Jan.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54658
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Jan
I thought it would be fun to have a little chat with uh, David Wallace after all these years. Oh, well. What are you doing?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54659
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Dwight
Listening.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54660
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Jan
Stop.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54661
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Dwight
Sorry.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54662
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Jan
Stop that.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54663
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Dwight
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54664
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Pam
So this was all just a trick. You don't really have any business to give?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54665
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Jan
No, I do.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54666
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Pam
But not to us.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54667
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Jan
Insightful, Pam.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54668
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Pam
You did good, Dwight. It's okay. I mean, seriously, Jan's not normal. Let's just go. She's not going to sell to us.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54669
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Dwight
Yes, she is. Now, I may not have any instincts with women, but I have an instinct for sales. You keep her occupied. I'll be right back.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54670
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Pam
What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54671
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Jan
Pam?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54672
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54673
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Jan
I'm a very busy woman, so...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54674
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Pam
Yeah. Um, do you have any other pictures of Astrid?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54675
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Jan
Fine. I will show you one... slide show.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54676
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Pete
Erin, did this call...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54677
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Erin
Uh!
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54678
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Pete
What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54679
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Erin
Sorry, I uh, just saw your face.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54680
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Pete
Oh, I'm sorry. It's for the thing.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54681
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Erin
I know. That's great. It just - it makes it look like there's an eyebrow in the middle of your face.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54682
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Pete
Wow.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54683
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Erin
A handsome eyebrow, but, um... it makes your mouth look like an eye socket... which isn't bad.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54684
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Pete
Uh-huh.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54685
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Erin
But um, you look like a cyclops whose eye... fell out... Which is great. It's such a great cause.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54686
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Pete
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54687
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Erin
[chuckles]
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54688
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Jan
Mommy, you're a princess. Mommy, you're a superstar. Mommy you're the greatest. How can I ever fill your sho-o-o-es?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54689
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Pam
Wow. Your voice is as lovely as ever.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54690
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Jan
Aw.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54691
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Pam
And it is so cute how she signs her name.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54692
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Jan
Well, that -- that was -- that was me too.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54693
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Pam
Oh, okay. It's just that's how Cece does it with the backwards 'E's.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54694
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Jan
Cece can't spell her name.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54695
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Pam
Oh, actually she can.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54696
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Jan
Well, it's not really much of a comparison, is it? I mean, 'Cece' is two letters and 'Astrid' is... I mean, there's even some adults who -- who -- who can't spell it.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54697
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Pam
Of course.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54698
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Jan
Can you spell it? Try to spell it, Pam.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54699
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Pam
Um... 'A'... 'X'? I don't -- you got me.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54700
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Jan
Don't patronize me.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54701
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Pam
I'm so sorry. I hate this. You're better.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54702
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Angela
Okay, we should go now. Let's go.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54703
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Oscar
Just wait. Just a minute. Just watch.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54704
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Angela
Wait. Why are you... Oh. are you getting your jollies right now? Can't get enough of the show? Your jollies are all on fire --
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54705
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Oscar
Please. It's Robert who's enjoying it.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54706
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Angela
What?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54707
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Oscar
This could be the affair that you're scared of. Politicians are wonderful liars. You never know who they really are. But uh, he's probably not gay. He's straight. He's straight, so...
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54708
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Pam
Mm. Excuse me. Could I get some more water?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54709
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Jan
No.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54710
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Dwight
Jan... You thought I had no more cards left to play. Well I've got one. Man-boy! The Ace of Babes.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54711
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Pam
Oh, my God.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54712
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Clark
Where's the Quizno's?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54713
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Dwight
You're the Quizno's. Jan, may I introduce to you your own personal Dunder Mifflin liaison, devoted to servicing this account with total client satisfaction. I sensed that Molly wasn't quite meeting your needs -- nothing like, uh, your old assistant... Hunter. Was that his name?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54714
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Jan
I -- I --
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54715
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Dwight
Hmm?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54716
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Jan
I don't recall. And yes, Molly is crap.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54717
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Pam
Okay, you do not have to do this.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54718
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Clark
Do what? Get into sales? That's what I want.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54719
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Dwight
He's been growing that mustache for weeks. Best he can do... So young.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54720
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Jan
Will you uh, you. Can you turn around for me, please? Dwight you can go. I will call you in a week or so and let you know whether I want your business.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54721
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Dwight
Very good.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54722
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Jan
Do you have a valid passport?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54723
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Jim
Jim Halpert.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54724
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Colin
Hey, it's Colin.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54725
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Jim
Hey man. I am so sorry about that.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54726
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Colin
I know. Don't worry about it.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54727
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Jim
[laughs]
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54728
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Colin
It's just... it's not totally working.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54729
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Jim
Yeah. No, I know. This whole telecommuting thing -- not ideal. But don't worry. I'll figure it out.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54730
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Colin
Yeah, well, it's not just not ideal. I mean, with you there, I don't know how we're gonna do this.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54731
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Jim
Uh, what does -- what does that mean?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54732
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Angela
Oscar, what is happening here? Why would you say you think the senator might be gay?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54733
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Oscar
I don't know, Angela. I'm dehydrated. Maybe... You heard me wrong. We should just go.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54734
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Angela
Look, look, look. Here he comes. Here he comes. What is he doing?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54735
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Oscar
He's making a phone call.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54736
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Angela
Oh. Oh.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54737
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Oscar
[phone vibrates, rings]
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54738
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Pam
Oh, hey, Molly. You should just quit.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54739
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Molly
Thanks. Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54740
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Dwight
Oh and uh, Molly... I know it can't be easy working for Jan. Good luck with your feelings.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54741
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Pam
Dwight, that was really nice. You should ask for her number.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54742
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Dwight
Oh, I got her number. 415-YCL.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54743
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Pam
That's a license number?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54744
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Dwight
That's all you need. And when I have curried favor with her, I will let you know.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54745
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Pam
Oh. Why me?
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54746
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Dwight
Because you are my friend and you are a woman... And women love gossip. It's like air to you people. Ugh, God.
Season 9 · Episode 7 · Quote 54747