Every line from The Office season 9, episode 21, in script order. First aired May 2, 2013.
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Pam
Hi.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58705
-
Jim
What's up?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58706
-
Pam
Um, I have a question.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58707
-
Jim
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58708
-
Pam
Oh, I had a question.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58709
-
Jim
Really?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58710
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Pam
I did!
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58711
-
Jim
Yeah, totally you did.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58712
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Pam
Super important.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58713
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Jim
I need you to stay right here while you think about it.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58714
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Pam
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58715
-
Jim
All right? I'm gonna wait.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58716
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Pam
All right. I did not come back here just to see you.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58717
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Jim
I'm sure you did not. What was your question?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58718
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Pam
I don't know, but it might take me a long time to figure it out.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58719
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Jim
Well, then, I should figure out things to do while I'm waiting.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58720
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Pam
Exactly.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58721
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Andy
Hey, everybody, I changed my mind. Not leaving. I'm gonna stay on in sales.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58722
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Nellie
Oh, thank god. Because sales could be your best role yet.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58723
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Meredith
Hey, good choice, man. Seriously. Don't want to see you in a porn next year.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58724
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Andy
Okay.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58725
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Kevin
Ooh, there's a great play about a salesman.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58726
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Andy
Death of a salesman.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58727
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Kevin
I don't think so.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58728
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Andy
Sure, 'Death of a Salesman' by Arthur Miller, it's a great play about crushed dreams.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58729
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Kevin
No, this one was written by Spongebob Squarepants.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58730
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Andy
Got any hot leads?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58731
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Pete
See, so you just push from under, and turn it around, and boom. No the staple crimps outward.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58732
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Erin
I had no idea. And here I've been stapling the same way for 20 years like a frickin' sheep.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58733
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Jim
Look who's back.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58734
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Pam
I'm back. Oh, hey, look, and now it's like a double date.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58735
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Pete
Wow. Cause, uh
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58736
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Erin
Actually, maybe we should go on a double date some time. That'd be fun.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58737
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Pam
Yeah, we should do that for real sometime.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58738
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Erin
Well, how about Thursday?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58739
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Pam
Oh, well, Thursday's tough, because of'
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58740
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Jim
Weeknights are actually tough just because'
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58741
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Pam
They are.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58742
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Jim
That's true, yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58743
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Erin
Just forget it. Forget I said anything.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58744
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David Wallace
Attention, everyone, just a quick announcement. Little reconfiguration to the staff. Dwight Schrute'
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58745
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Dwight
David. Can I just do one thing while you're making this announcement and then I'll never, ever do it again?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58746
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David Wallace
I don't think so.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58747
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Dwight
It's just one thing. Just let me'let me do this'
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58748
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David Wallace
Dwight, Dwight, Dwight. Come on'what I was about to say was Dwight'Oh, I'm sorry, I gotta'This'll be a second, sorry.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58749
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Dwight
Just wait and send it to voicemail.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58750
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David Wallace
Yeah.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58751
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Dwight
Come on. Come on.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58752
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David Wallace
Then we'll get him a new set of drums.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58753
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Dwight
Dwight Schrute is manager!
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58754
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Andy
Brava, brava.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58755
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Creed
Creed Bratton is the new manager!
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58756
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Pam
What's going on?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58757
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Kevin
Dwight's the new manager. He freaking did it.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58758
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Pam
Congratulations, Dwight.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58759
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Dwight
Pam.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58760
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Jim
Congratulations, buddy.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58761
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Dwight
Thank you, Jim.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58762
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Clark
Congrats, Dwight.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58763
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Dwight
Get out of Jim's seat.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58764
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Clark
But I fought for this seat.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58765
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Dwight
You're an annex kid. You might be bullpen, we'll see. Give it a couple of years. Scram.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58766
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Pam
It's nice to have you back.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58767
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Dwight
So'
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58768
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Jim
So.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58769
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Dwight
I wanted to offer you a new position.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58770
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Jim
Let's hear it.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58771
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Dwight
Assistant regional manager.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58772
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Jim
Nope. Can't accept that job. It's not a real job.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58773
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Dwight
Jim.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58774
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Jim
I'll tell you what I could accept is assistant to the regional manager. That is a real job and one I'd be proud to take.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58775
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Dwight
Shake on it? Done. Way to negotiate, idiot.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58776
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Jim
Don't get me wrong, I am definitely here for Pam. But this is an awesome added bonus.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58777
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Dwight
So, all the numbers adding up?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58778
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Oscar
Hey, I didn't get a chance to say it, but' congratulations, Dwight.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58779
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Dwight
Thank you.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58780
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Angela
Yes. Congratulations.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58781
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Kevin
Yeah, and Dwight, I'd like to be the first to say congratulations.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58782
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Angela
This is a big day for you.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58783
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Dwight
Yes, it is. Carry on.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58784
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Andy
How did I just abandon my dreams so quickly? It's cause I had a fallback. That's the problem. When you have fallbacks, it's just easy to give up. When Cortez landed in Mexico, only way he got his men to defeat the Aztecs was by burning all of his own boats. So they could never return home. Huge dick move but very effective. I need to be that same kind of dick to myself.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58785
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Andy
Everyone! Changed my mind again.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58786
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Phyllis
What's it now, dream or no dream?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58787
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Andy
Uh, dream. Goin' with my dream. Gotta go all in, isn't that right, Jim?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58788
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Jim
Oh, don't look at me cause I think you're making a terrible choice.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58789
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Andy
All in! Whoo!
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58790
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Andy
Toby! Hey, I changed my mind again. I am gonna leave Dunder Mifflin to pursue acting after all.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58791
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Toby
Okay, then, Andy.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58792
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Andy
Yeah, but here's the thing. I can't have good old Dunder Mifflin to fall back on or else I'll never succeed. Gotta burn those boats! So I need you to go into my file and put down that I was fired for theft and/or groping wieners.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58793
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Toby
Andy, you know I can't do that. It'd be lying.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58794
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Andy
Seriously?
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58795
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Toby
Yeah, I'm'
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58796
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Andy
Come on, just do it.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58797
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Toby
I can't.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58798
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Andy
All right, fine, just know that you made me do this.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58799
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Toby
Oh, come on. Andy, no.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58800
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Andy
God, Toby, don't'stop blocking my hand.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58801
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Toby
No, no.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58802
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Andy
This is your'you brought this on.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58803
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Toby
No, no. Andy.
Season 9 · Episode 21 · Line 58804