Kevin

To me, the Sixers are a five seed tops.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55357

Jim

I think they're going to the conference finals.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55358

Kevin

No.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55359

Jim

Bynum, obvious monster and the three point shooting, don't even-...

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55360

Jim

I bit my lip at lunch today.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55361

Darryl

Sucks. Anyway, I just don't see it. The Knicks are tough.The Nets are tough.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55362

Kevin

Oh, the Nets are super tough.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55363

Jim

Now I have this big bump in my lip that hurts. I hate it.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55364

Kevin

The Hawks are terrible. They're always terrible.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55365

Jim

Okay, you need to think about it before you come with the...

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55366

Jim

Whatever. It's not a big deal. You know I always tell my three year old, if this is the worst thing that's gonna happen...You gotta be kidding me! Ok! Pam! That's it, I'm going home!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55367

Erin

Good morning, Meredith.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55368

Pam

What?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55369

Erin

Oh, sorry, Pam. Yikes.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55370

Pam

Jim's been spending a few days a week in Philly and I'm not gonna lie, it's been challenging. Yesterday, things took a turn for the worse. I found out Cece has lice. So I was up all night disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy, item of clothing in the entire house. I'm exhausted. But don't tell Jim. He has a huge meeting today, under a lot of pressure and he's doing it all for the family.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55371

Jim

I am meeting Dr. J today, otherwise known as Julius Irving, famed 76er and my own personal hero. But i have to be careful not to rub it in Pam's face because let's be honest, how would I feel if I was at home stuck with the kids while she was go carting with John Stamos.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55372

Jim

You sound tired. Everything ok?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55373

Pam

Great. Everything's great. Hey are you nervous about your big meeting?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55374

Jim

Uhh, a little bit. It's a lot of pressure, you know, but that's what I signed up for right?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55375

Worker

Jim, limo's here.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55376

Jim

Uh, you know what, I gotta hop off because my, uh, taxi is here to take me to the meeting.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55377

Pam

Oh, call me later!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55378

Jim

Ok

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55379

Pam

Good luck!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55380

Jim

Thanks!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55381

Pam

Love you.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55382

Jim

Love you too. Bye.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55383

Val

How you doing?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55384

Darryl

Alright. I mean, it's what you want, so...

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55385

Val

It's how it has to be.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55386

Darryl

I know, I know. It's just hard.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55387

Darryl

Me and Val were going nowhere and if I'm gonna be working in Philly, I'm gonna need my freedom. So, I convinced Val to breakup with me. Here's how you do it. You say, 'What are you gonna do, breakup with me?' Like it's a joke, and then you gain a lot of weight.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55388

Darryl

I'll never be sorry, not for a moment of it.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55389

Val

Me neither. Come here.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55390

Pam

Hey Meredith, I need your supplier requests today.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55391

Meredith

Jeez H. in the morning. Will you stop your nagging already? No wonder Jim left you.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55392

Pam

He didn't leave me. He just went part time. Can you just fill out the form please?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55393

Meredith

Yes.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55394

Pam

I'm sure she's just confused. People scratch their heads when they're confused. Not always like an ape, the way Meredith just did, but it happens.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55395

Meredith

Hurry up already.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55396

Erin

Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Between the foster homes and the orphanage, I had lice 22 times.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55397

Erin

Holy wow, that's a big one. Alright, pencils down everyone, we got lice!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55398

Angela

Oh God, Meredith, lice? Did you not sign a pledge to shower?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55399

Dwight

What? Lice? Oh my god. Lock the doors, we are on full quarantine.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55400

Pam

Dwight, relax. It's just lice. Maybe, possibly.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55401

Dwight

Just lice Pam?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55402

Dwight

Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55403

Dwight

Make way, nope, inspect me.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55404

Erin

Oh, this is the cleanest scalp I've ever seen. You are all clear.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55405

Dwight

Should be. I use lice shampoo every morning.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55406

Pam

Stop that!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55407

Angela

Dwight!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55408

Erin

Next!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55409

Angela

Geez Meredith, you know, this is an office not one of your bean bag orgies.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55410

Pam

Alright, let's give her a break. We don't know for sure this is Meredith's fault.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55411

Oscar

Pam, really? Come on.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55412

Meredith

Hey, what do you want? I know who I am. Nobody's taken Meredith Palmer to the opera to meet the queen.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55413

Erin

Lice. More lice. Angela has lice.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55414

Angela

Ew! Oh.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55415

Erin

Ooh yabber, lice!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55416

Erin

Yikers, lice.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55417

Pam

No! How? I'm so clean!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55418

Erin

Oh yeah, big time lice.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55419

Oscar

I wash my hands at least six times a day. Toilet seat covers? Yes, thank you, even when I pee. Apparently, none of that is protection enough. Not when it comes to Meredith.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55420

Phyllis

What are you wearing?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55421

Dwight

It's a Hazmat suit. That stands for hazaderous materials men's suit wearing. If you rent more than four times a year, it just makes sense to buy. Is there anyone else here that is lice free? Excellent. Do you have your own hazmat suits?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55422

Nellie

No.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55423

Kevin

No.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55424

Dwight

Renters. Ok, I'm gonna need you to gather your belongings, retreat to the warehouse, conduct your business there until the infected have been deloused. Let's get going. I'm gonna stay here and fight. If you don't hear from me by lunch, call me. I might want lunch.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55425

Darryl

Alright, we're going down to my warehouse, that means we're playing by my rules. No messing with the baler and be cool in front of me and Val. We just broke up.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55426

Phyllis

You got dumped?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55427

Darryl

Yeah, she ended things.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55428

Nellie

Breakups are the worst. The only thing that got me through mine are large amounts of shepard's pie and Brandy. The singer, not the drink.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55429

Kevin

Here man. You need that more than me.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55430

Darryl

Thanks, man.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55431

Kevin

Yeah

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55432

Pam

Guys, I think we should all ease up on Meredith. This has got to be hard for her.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55433

Angela

Oh, no no no no no. I have not yet begun to shame.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55434

Stanley

That's it. I'm getting my stuff. I'm leaving for the day.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55435

Erin

No! Stanley! If you leave now then you'll get it in your car and then you'll get it in your house!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55436

Stanley

Get off me!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55437

Erin

I'm trying to save you from yourself!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55438

Stanley

Alright, I'll stay! There's a pencil broken in my rolls.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55439

Pam

Maybe it was Meredith. Maybe she brought in lice that are totally different than the lice that i got from Cece. So let's not jump to the simplest conclusion that she got her lice from me. That is how wars get started. Fine, I'll tell her it was me.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55440

Jim

Oh man, that's fresh squeezed. And, uh are all the snacks complimentary?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55441

Limo Driver

Yeah, take some home if you want.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55442

Jim

Oh no, no, no. That's ok. Um I'm sorry, is this the conference center?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55443

Limo Driver

No, Mr. Irving called. Said he'd rather meet you at his private court.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55444

Jim

You gotta be kidding me.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55445

Pam

Hey, Meredith I need to tell you something.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55446

Meredith

Yes, Pam what do you want?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55447

Pam

Oh my God, Meredith what are you doing!?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55448

Meredith

Baking a cake, what does it look like I'm doing? Getting rid of the lice.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55449

Pam

Oh stop! I am so sorry!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55450

Meredith

Oh, can you hold that thought? That's my wax. You know, I think these critters migrated from down south. What were you saying?

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55451

Pam

Nothing.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55452

Pam

I am going to tell her, but now is clearly not the time. I will buy her a wig, we'll have a few laughs. There's a right way to do this.

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55453

Dwight

Scalp leeches, skull vampires, follicle gypsies, hair lawyers. One thing is clear, it's kill or be killed!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55454

Erin

No, no. It's more of a nuisance really. It's not that big a deal. So, I collected your hats and your coats...

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55455

Dwight

To be burned!

Season 9 · Episode 10 · Line 55456

"Lice" Quotes