Every line from The Office season 8, episode 6, in script order. First aired November 3, 2011.
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Andy
Dwight's our co-worker and he worked really hard on this doomsday device so I'
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47285
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Dwight
It's not a doomsday device, gosh. We can do this you guys.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47286
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Warehouse Crew
First. Second.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47287
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Darryl
It's not a race.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47288
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Warehouse Crew
Thirrrr'.third.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47289
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Darryl
Who knows what the belt is for?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47290
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Gabe
It's for protecting my ass. When you suckers lift more than you can handle. Sup, I'm Gabe. Corporate. Continue. Don't be nervous.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47291
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Darryl
Apparently we have a visitor. Gabe, everyone.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47292
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Warehouse Crew
Hi, gabe.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47293
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Darryl
All right so the support belt. Now this one is mine. Doesn't get much use nowadays.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47294
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Gabe
Look at this, this is enormous.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47295
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Gabe
I get the sense that Val enjoys a good putdown. Considering that's the only thing I know about her. I will be milking that hard.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47296
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Gabe
It's like a hula hoop. Right. Mele Kalikimaka is the wise way.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47297
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Darryl
You done?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47298
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Gabe
The Michelin man called, he wants his cummerbund back.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47299
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Phyllis
Remember we have to give Rigo Escrow their refund by five.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47300
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Kevin
I'm on it.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47301
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Angela
Kevin, maybe I should handle that. We really need you to focus on your project.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47302
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Kevin
Good thinking.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47303
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Kevin
Apparently a big client for this company, needs to know the story of how paper gets made.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47304
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Angela
Oscar, use a calculator.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47305
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Oscar
When the stakes are this high, there is only one computer that I trust. And it's powered by thai food and spanish reds.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47306
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Andy
Alright everybody, you are doing great!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47307
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Dwight
Well, I wouldn't say that. Three mistakes already is pretty terrible, but I do see improvement. Meredith kept someone on hold for thirty minutes and now look she's hard at work.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47308
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Jim
Dwight, question.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47309
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Dwight
No questions.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47310
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Jim
If this doomsday device goes off...
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47311
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Dwight
Accountability booster.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47312
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Jim
If this bad idea goes off and we all lose our jobs. Are you going to feel good about that?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47313
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Dwight
I haven't even considered it. That's how sure I am that this accountability booster is going to work.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47314
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Stanley
Try mose1234.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47315
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Ryan
Dwight would never be that obvious. Try something like'z64$8. Not that exactly Jim, something like that.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47316
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Jim
Ok.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47317
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Dwight
How about Scrantonstrangler666.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47318
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Jim
Nope.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47319
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Dwight
No. Oh shoot. Ha ha ha'You guys are never gonna shut down the machine, ok? But I appreciate your energy and your team work. If you applied this to your regular work, You won't even notice that the device is there, watching you ready to strike.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47320
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Kelly
Wha'what's Dwight's mothers name.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47321
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Jim
Hmm'Heda. No.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47322
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Darryl
Once you read the packet, sign the back.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47323
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Gabe
Hey Darryl, I was thinking, uh, maybe while we read through this, uh, you could grab us all some coffee. My treat. It's a hundred dollar bill. Should cover it I think. Don't bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, ok? I want a decaf frappuccino. Val'
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47324
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Darryl
Actually, Val, why don't you come with? I'll need the extra hands to carry them back.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47325
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Val
Yeah, sure.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47326
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Gabe
Uh.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47327
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Darryl
Mmhmm. Caramel soy latte.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47328
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Gabe
Decaf frap-
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47329
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Darryl
Got it.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47330
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Angela
You sent the late notice to Ryan Heart & Wolf. Right?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47331
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Oscar
Mhm. Six-forty, six-twenty.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47332
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Angela
Six-seventy, six-twenty.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47333
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Oscar
Nuh uh.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47334
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Angela
yes!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47335
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Oscar
Five eighty-eight plus fifteen percent- Oh no.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47336
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Kevin
What does this mean? What does it mean!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47337
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Oscar
Andy.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47338
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Angela
Ohhhh!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47339
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Andy
Gahhh. That's five strikes.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47340
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Stanley
Well'I was saving this for my retirement, which I guess is today.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47341
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Andy
Dwight we got five strikes.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47342
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Dwight
Really?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47343
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Andy
Did the email go out or'
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47344
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Dwight
It goes out automatically at five P.M.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47345
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Andy
Well, th- There's gotta be a way to stop it.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47346
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Dwight
Well, I would have to enter my password in order to cancel it.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47347
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Andy
Ok! Dwight you may now enter your password.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47348
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Dwight
No.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47349
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Andy
What?!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47350
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Dwight
You don't deserve to have this branch. Five mistakes in less than a day.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47351
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Phyllis
We did our best.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47352
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Dwight
No you didn't, Phyllis. You complained the whole time. You yelled at me. You tried to break into the machine. What?!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47353
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Erin
You're a real crumb bum, you know that?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47354
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Dwight
Hey, you can't just change the rules because you don't like the outcome. What about you, Kevin? What about you and your fake task? Can you tell me now where paper comes from?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47355
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Kevin
Uh, the man tree puts its penis-
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47356
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Dwight
Ha. Ok, alright. Andy back me up here, please.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47357
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Andy
Nn no.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47358
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Dwight
What?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47359
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Andy
No!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47360
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Oscar
Dwight be human for once. Shut down the machine.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47361
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Kelly
Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut down the machine!!! Shut it down! Shut it down!
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47362
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Dwight
Good luck finding a new job idiots. I'll make sure to write you a glowing reference. Glowingly negative.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47363
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Erin
Dwight's car is gone.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47364
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Pam
I bet he went home.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47365
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Andy
Some of us should go there and talk some sense into him. Get him to stop that email.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47366
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Andy
Pam, you should come with me. Dwight really likes you and your breasts are enormous that could help us.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47367
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Kevin
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47368
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Andy
Kevin has that lovability.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47369
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Kevin
Guys come on. I'm right here.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47370
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Andy
Jim, I want you to go find Robert just be where he is in case that email goes out at five. You can try to delete it or something.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47371
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Jim
Ok, where is he?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47372
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Erin
Uh, he's at some club where you either eat squash or play squash.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47373
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Jim
I'll try both.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47374
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Dwight
Oh. Come to reason with me?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47375
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Andy
Gotcha something. And, uh, I just really want to talk to you-
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47376
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Dwight
Get lost.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47377
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Andy
Well now hold on it, it-
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47378
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Pam
What are you doing?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47379
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Dwight
What does it look like I'm doing? Digging a grave for a horse.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47380
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Pam
Uhm.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47381
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Erin
Do you need a hand?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47382
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Pam
Yeah, do you need a hand?
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47383
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Dwight
If you hit another horse, you've dug to far.
Season 8 · Episode 6 · Line 47384