Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 6, 2011.
-
Gideon
FYI, Wednesday through Friday I have a pretty full teaching schedule.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46510
-
Andy
Eh, cool. We'll figure that out.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46511
-
Nate
Also, FYI, ah, I don't techinically have a hearing problem, but sometimes when there's a lot of noises occurring uh at the same time, I'll hear 'em as one big jumble. Uh, again it's not that I can't hear, uh because that's false. I can. Um, I just can't distinguish between everything I'm hearing.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46512
-
Andy
Got it. Dually noted. You! Coolest tank top I have ever seen. Where did you get that?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46513
-
Bruce
Made it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46514
-
Andy
So cool! What a cross-section we have here. That's what I love about interviewing. I get to meet all these people I wouldn't ordinarily meet or know or even talk to.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46515
-
Dwight
Message in a Bottle, The Postman...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46516
-
Jim
Kevin Costner.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46517
-
Dwight
Kevin Costner.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46518
-
Jim
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46519
-
Kevin
So I found this grease. And then I remembered that you thought it was a great idea.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46520
-
Erin
You did say it was a great idea. I heard you say it!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46521
-
Jim
So, it's not the dumbest idea.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46522
-
Dwight
It's not the greatest one either...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46523
-
Jim
But, the fact remains we gotta move these boxes.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46524
-
Dwight
And it's clear we're not going to carry them.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46525
-
Jim
So sadly, it's the best idea on the table.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46526
-
Dwight
Exactly.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46527
-
Kevin
I think we're ready to give thi- Jim?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46528
-
Jim
Is he OK?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46529
-
Dwight
Yep. He'll be fine.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46530
-
Andy
Surprise! Your new crew.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46531
-
Darryl
Would you just fire me, man?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46532
-
Andy
Why? Because you didn't win the lottery? How am I supposed to make you happy?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46533
-
Darryl
You wanna make me happy? Huh?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46534
-
Andy
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46535
-
Darryl
Give me your job.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46536
-
Andy
Haha, what?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46537
-
Darryl
I'll do it better than you. I earned it. I deserve it. I got passed over, God knows why, reasons I cannot and will not understand. The job was mine Andy, everyone said it was mine. Make me manager or fire me.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46538
-
Andy
I'm not gonna give you my job! It's my job! I earned it! And here's the thing, you weren't even next in line. I asked about you, I saw your file. You have a history of being short with people and you hired Glenn, your buddy! To replace you in the warehouse. He was under qualified. They saw that.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46539
-
Nate
Also, Darryl, FYI, I already told this to Andy, but uh, you should probably know I technically don't have a hearing problem, it's just when there's a lot of noises...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46540
-
Andy
Nate! Please....thank you. You have no business education, you were gonna take classes under D'Angelo, what happened to that?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46541
-
Darryl
He died.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46542
-
Andy
He didn't die, his brain died. And my brain is still very much alive and I'd be happy to give you business classes. How come you haven't asked me about it?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46543
-
Nate
What wa-, what was the last...I'm havin' a-
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46544
-
Andy
None, no part of this has anything to do with you.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46545
-
Darryl
I didn't have time because of my daughter.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46546
-
Andy
Oh, but you had time for a softball clinic, and a Mediterranean cooking class.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46547
-
Darryl
Hey I'm not gonna tell you this stuff if you gonna throw it back in my face.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46548
-
Andy
Hey. Here's the thing. Jo saw something in you. She loved you! She gave you a shot and then you stopped pushing. She noticed.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46549
-
Darryl
OK.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46550
-
Andy
OK what?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46551
-
Darryl
OK, don't fire me.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46552
-
Andy
Ah, OK.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46553
-
Darryl
My future's not gonna be determined by seven little white lotto balls. It's gonna be determined by two big black balls. I control my destiny. I do.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46554
-
Darryl
I put some guys on tonight. Best of your bunch and my bunch. Tell you now though, it's gonna be mostly my bunch.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46555
-
Andy
Yeah. That makes sense. OK. Good, alright.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46556
-
Kevin
Here...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46557
-
Andy
What is goin' on?!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46558
-
Kevin
Oh hey guys.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46559
-
Darryl
Why is the forklift in the wall?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46560
-
Andy
Why is the truck empty?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46561
-
Dwight
Uh, it's not totally empty.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46562
-
Darryl
Is that grease on my floor?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46563
-
Dwight
OK, I can see why you're angry, you're coming into this cold. But believe me a lot of thought went into this.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46564
-
Darryl
And did your brains tell you to ruin these boxes with grease?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46565
-
Kevin
OK Darryl, listen and then you will understand. The boxes were ruined during our first trial testing so now it's cool cause we found another use for them.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46566
-
Jim
OK, alright, that's...look. All we were trying to do is we thought we could come up with a more efficient way to do things.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46567
-
Darryl
And?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46568
-
Erin
And we did.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46569
-
Dwight
I don't know.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46570
-
Erin
Jim? Tell them what it's called.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46571
-
Jim
That's alright.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46572
-
Kevin
No Jim, tell 'em what a name is.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46573
-
Jim
Doesn't matter what the name is. Senor Loadenstein, that's stupid.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46574
-
Kevin
Senor Loadenstein. Tell 'em why it's called that, Jim.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46575
-
Jim
That's OK, we're good.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46576
-
Erin
Jim...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46577
-
Andy
No, Jim. Tell us why it's called Senor Loadenstein.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46578
-
Jim
Porque es muy rapido.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46579
-
Dwight
OK. You know what? It's been a real busy day, what do you say we put all this away.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46580
-
Darryl
Let me see it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46581
-
Dwight
It's uh, it's in beta testing.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46582
-
Darryl
Let me see it!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46583
-
Dwight
Get the thing, go! Lube it up, Kevin! Start mopping.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46584
-
Dwight, Erin, Jim & Kevin
Uno! Dos! Tres!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46585
-
Phyllis
Yeah, I lost my client.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46586
-
Creed
I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A, baby. And as backup I have a Swiss passport.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46587
-
Toby
I would spend a lot of time launching my true crime podcast, The Flenderson Files. Dum bum buh. Flenderson files.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46588
-
Pam
We came to an agreement. We're going to live in a stunning pre-war brownstone at the top of a mountain.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46589
-
Jim
Right. It's city and country combined.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46590
-
Pam
Just a subway stop away are the best museums in the world.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46591
-
Jim
And I can fish right from the window of Pam's pottery studio. And we can chat any time we want.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46592
-
Pam
Just like now.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46593
-
Jim
Just like now....too bad the schools are terrible.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46594
-
Pam
Oh..
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46595
-
Jim
But what are you gonna do about that?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46596
-
Pam
What are you gonna do?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46597
-
Toby
If I won the lottery, I don't know. I don't think I'd make any changes to my life. Quit my job, move, meet someone....
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46598
-
Ryan
I'd give 35% to AIDS related charities. 25%. If they can't cure AIDS with 25%, the extra ten's not gonna make a difference. At some point, you're just throwing good money after bad.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46599
-
Phyllis
The first thing I'd buy is new boobs. For my mom. She has the worst boobs. It- It's embarrassing.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46600
-
Jim
Ok, ok. We are so close. All we have to do is figure out that corner and we're basically there.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46601
-
Dwight
I know. Kevin, we've been friends for a long time, right?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46602
-
Kevin
Egons.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46603
-
Dwight
So if I was to ask you to sacrifice your body and lay down on a greasy corner and act as a human bumper shield-
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46604
-
Jim
Ok, Dwight! Come on. Here, I think I have an idea.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46605
-
Dwight
I wouldn't be asking you lightly, now would I?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46606
-
Kevin
No.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46607
-
Dwight
Right. Now do you wanna wear a trash bag, er...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46608
-
Jim
Dammit Dwight!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46609