Every line from The Office season 8, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 6, 2011.
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Dwight
....back orders and you never called them.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46310
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Oscar
Can you believe this?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46311
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Erin
There's a dog in the car.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46312
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Oscar
You can't leave a dog in a parked car. Snowboarder, it figures.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46313
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Jim
Do Snowboarders hate animals?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46314
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Oscar
I bet this guy didn't leave his weed in the car. OK we have to do something because this is incredibly dangerous.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46315
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Andy
Oscar, it's not that hot out.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46316
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Darryl
A car parked in the sun is like a toaster oven.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46317
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Andy
Well, we don't know how long the driver's been gone and it's not in direct sunlight.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46318
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Kelly
So what, Andy, you wanna just let him die, you scumbag?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46319
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Kevin
Here, I'm gonna get in my car. When I start dying, I will honk the horn three times. That means save the dog.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46320
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Dwight
OK, you know what? I'm gonna give him something to drink. Come here, doggy. Come on.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46321
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Jim
Dwight! At least aim it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46322
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Dwight
There you go! Here doggy! He's not even trying. Come here doggy, come on.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46323
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Andy
We're losing cloud cover.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46324
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Kelly
Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46325
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Darryl
Hey, hey, hey. Vick did his time.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46326
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Oscar
This guy's been gone long enough. He's lost his right to a window.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46327
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Jim
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46328
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Oscar
Come on buddy, get back.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46329
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Dwight
Whoa, Oscar! What are you- What? No, hey!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46330
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Jim
Alright! Nice job, Oscar!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46331
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Oscar
And one for good measure!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46332
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Jim
So...ah, who's gonna take the dog?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46333
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Oscar
Why would we take the dog?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46334
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Jim
What if he jumps out the window and runs away?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46335
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Oscar
Jim, he's not gonna star-
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46336
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Meredith
Whoa!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46337
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Oscar
Shh! Shh! Stay there, stay.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46338
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Dwight
Nein. Sits. Goot.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46339
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Jim
Oscar, what do you wanna do, this is kinda your deal. You wanna dog?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46340
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Oscar
There we go. That should do it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46341
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Jim
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46342
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Dwight
Yeah, that'll work.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46343
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Kelly
That'll work.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46344
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Jim
Nice job.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46345
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Dwight
Bye poochie!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46346
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Kelly
Bye.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46347
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Meredith
Bye!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46348
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Pam
What's that come to? Like, what did they each win?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46349
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Jim
Oh man, it's gotta be over a hundred thousand dollars.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46350
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Pam
Awesome.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46351
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Dwight
Before taxes.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46352
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Phyllis
That's still a lot of money!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46353
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Andy
The warehouse crew won the lottery yesterday. Nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars. And then they quit!...and no one else can focus. This is it. This is all on my shoulders. I'm the one who has to tell everyone to get back to work, I'm the one who has to tell Darryl to hire a new warehouse crew. I'm the one who has to say those things.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46354
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Darryl
Hello?....Justine! Nice surprise! How you doin' baby?....Nah. No no, I didn't win. When I got promoted I stop-...what?...Yeah. Yeah, Glenn won....Oh, you wanna call him? Yeah, you should call him, congratulate him. That'll be-...What?....Oh, his number's in your old phone. Oh, you know what? I might have it right- Whoops.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46355
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Darryl
When I worked in the warehouse, I was part of that lotto pool. They won ' playing my birthday.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46356
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Oscar
What really interests me is the group dynamic of six people winning the lottery. This will not end well. Right?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46357
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Phyllis
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46358
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Meredith
We're lookin' at at least one suicide and one weird sex thing.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46359
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Oscar
At least.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46360
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Jim
I mean, I don't even know what I'd do with all that money.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46361
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Dwight
I know what you'd do with all that money. 'Hey Pam, let's buy expensive bathrobes and hug.'
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46362
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Jim
No, I'd probably buy a big piece of land in Maine, build a house, work in town. Somewhere I could bike to or kayak to. I'd either bike to my job at the kayak shop or kayak to my job at the bike shop.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46363
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Pam
And then on the weekends, would you hacky sack back to reality and spend time with your wife and kids?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46364
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Jim
Whoa. Saucy. I thought you liked Maine?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46365
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Pam
I think we should get a townhouse in SoHo...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46366
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Ryan
SoHo's mostly lofts but OK.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46367
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Pam
And then every morning, I'd walk out on to my terrace and I would breathe in the inspiration of the city. You know? And just gather ideas for my painting...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46368
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Kelly
Oh, god.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46369
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Pam
And then my handsome husband...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46370
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Jim
Which ideally would be me....
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46371
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Pam
Would bring me a flavored coffee.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46372
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Jim
Stop. I'm a barista in your fantasy?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46373
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Pam
Well in your fantasy we're Stephen King characters.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46374
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Jim
I don't know about Stephen King, I mean...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46375
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Meredith
get a divorce...get a divorce...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46376
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Kelly
I think I would keep working. And for my salary I guess I would take like a dollar a year....I mean obviously I wouldn't come in till noon and I wouldn't do anything I didn't wanna do. I mean I'm getting paid a dollar a year, OK? You can chill.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46377
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Andy
Are you kidding me?! Guys if I have to ask you to get back to work one more time, I'm gonna change my tone. To down here like Mr. T. and this will get seriously annoying. I feel sympathy for the jerks who have to listen to this all day. Darryl, how we doin' on the new warehouse guys?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46378
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Darryl
I don't know.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46379
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Andy
What d-? What..what? Wuh, do we have new guys, or what?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46380
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Darryl
No.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46381
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Andy
Are they on their way over?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46382
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Darryl
I haven't hired anyone.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46383
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Phyllis
What? No warehouse guys? I have an important order that has to go out by five. I emailed you about it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46384
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Darryl
I'm not checkin' email till lunch. Four hour work week.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46385
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Andy
This is kinda time sensitive.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46386
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Darryl
I got it. I'm doin' it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46387
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Phyllis
Andy, this is a seriously big order. I can't lose this client.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46388
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Andy
Alright, well until we have a new crew, let's get some volunteers for warehouse duty. Who's in?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46389
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Erin
As long as you guys don't need me up here.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46390
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Phyllis
No..we don't
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46391
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Dwight
I think we'll be fine.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46392
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Oscar
Really, nobody's gonna help her? Is chivalry dead?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46393
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Andy
Are you volunteering?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46394
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Oscar
Of course. I would. But my hip....I would kill to be at a hundred percent.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46395
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Andy
Jim! How 'bout you?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46396
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Jim
Uh, yeah. I mean, as the strongest person in this office, I guess I should go down with you...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46397
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Dwight
Hey...OK no. No. That. You are so not...oh god. False. Andy, I will volunteer.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46398
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Andy
Great. And Kevin.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46399
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Kevin
Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46400
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Pam
Oh, thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46401
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Angela
Sure.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46402
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Pam
Wait, wait. What's this?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46403
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Angela
Oh, sorry. I thought it was a guess your baby's birth weight pool.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46404
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Pam
It says 'Lotto Pool', right on top.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46405
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Angela
Yeah. And I said sorry.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46406
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Pam
Oh come on. You really think I'm gonna have a fourteen pound baby?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46407
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Darryl
When did I get so fat?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46408
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Andy
You look awesome.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Line 46409