Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 3, in script order. First aired October 6, 2011.
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Dwight
....back orders and you never called them.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46310
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Oscar
Can you believe this?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46311
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Erin
There's a dog in the car.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46312
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Oscar
You can't leave a dog in a parked car. Snowboarder, it figures.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46313
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Jim
Do Snowboarders hate animals?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46314
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Oscar
I bet this guy didn't leave his weed in the car. OK we have to do something because this is incredibly dangerous.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46315
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Andy
Oscar, it's not that hot out.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46316
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Darryl
A car parked in the sun is like a toaster oven.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46317
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Andy
Well, we don't know how long the driver's been gone and it's not in direct sunlight.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46318
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Kelly
So what, Andy, you wanna just let him die, you scumbag?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46319
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Kevin
Here, I'm gonna get in my car. When I start dying, I will honk the horn three times. That means save the dog.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46320
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Dwight
OK, you know what? I'm gonna give him something to drink. Come here, doggy. Come on.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46321
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Jim
Dwight! At least aim it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46322
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Dwight
There you go! Here doggy! He's not even trying. Come here doggy, come on.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46323
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Andy
We're losing cloud cover.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46324
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Kelly
Oh don't try to get in on it now, Michael Vick.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46325
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Darryl
Hey, hey, hey. Vick did his time.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46326
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Oscar
This guy's been gone long enough. He's lost his right to a window.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46327
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Jim
Whoa whoa whoa whoa!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46328
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Oscar
Come on buddy, get back.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46329
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Dwight
Whoa, Oscar! What are you- What? No, hey!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46330
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Jim
Alright! Nice job, Oscar!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46331
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Oscar
And one for good measure!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46332
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Jim
So...ah, who's gonna take the dog?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46333
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Oscar
Why would we take the dog?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46334
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Jim
What if he jumps out the window and runs away?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46335
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Oscar
Jim, he's not gonna star-
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46336
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Meredith
Whoa!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46337
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Oscar
Shh! Shh! Stay there, stay.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46338
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Dwight
Nein. Sits. Goot.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46339
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Jim
Oscar, what do you wanna do, this is kinda your deal. You wanna dog?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46340
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Oscar
There we go. That should do it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46341
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Jim
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46342
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Dwight
Yeah, that'll work.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46343
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Kelly
That'll work.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46344
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Jim
Nice job.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46345
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Dwight
Bye poochie!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46346
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Kelly
Bye.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46347
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Meredith
Bye!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46348
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Pam
What's that come to? Like, what did they each win?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46349
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Jim
Oh man, it's gotta be over a hundred thousand dollars.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46350
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Pam
Awesome.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46351
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Dwight
Before taxes.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46352
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Phyllis
That's still a lot of money!
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46353
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Andy
The warehouse crew won the lottery yesterday. Nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars. And then they quit!...and no one else can focus. This is it. This is all on my shoulders. I'm the one who has to tell everyone to get back to work, I'm the one who has to tell Darryl to hire a new warehouse crew. I'm the one who has to say those things.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46354
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Darryl
Hello?....Justine! Nice surprise! How you doin' baby?....Nah. No no, I didn't win. When I got promoted I stop-...what?...Yeah. Yeah, Glenn won....Oh, you wanna call him? Yeah, you should call him, congratulate him. That'll be-...What?....Oh, his number's in your old phone. Oh, you know what? I might have it right- Whoops.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46355
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Darryl
When I worked in the warehouse, I was part of that lotto pool. They won ' playing my birthday.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46356
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Oscar
What really interests me is the group dynamic of six people winning the lottery. This will not end well. Right?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46357
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Phyllis
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46358
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Meredith
We're lookin' at at least one suicide and one weird sex thing.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46359
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Oscar
At least.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46360
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Jim
I mean, I don't even know what I'd do with all that money.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46361
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Dwight
I know what you'd do with all that money. 'Hey Pam, let's buy expensive bathrobes and hug.'
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46362
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Jim
No, I'd probably buy a big piece of land in Maine, build a house, work in town. Somewhere I could bike to or kayak to. I'd either bike to my job at the kayak shop or kayak to my job at the bike shop.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46363
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Pam
And then on the weekends, would you hacky sack back to reality and spend time with your wife and kids?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46364
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Jim
Whoa. Saucy. I thought you liked Maine?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46365
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Pam
I think we should get a townhouse in SoHo...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46366
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Ryan
SoHo's mostly lofts but OK.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46367
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Pam
And then every morning, I'd walk out on to my terrace and I would breathe in the inspiration of the city. You know? And just gather ideas for my painting...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46368
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Kelly
Oh, god.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46369
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Pam
And then my handsome husband...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46370
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Jim
Which ideally would be me....
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46371
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Pam
Would bring me a flavored coffee.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46372
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Jim
Stop. I'm a barista in your fantasy?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46373
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Pam
Well in your fantasy we're Stephen King characters.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46374
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Jim
I don't know about Stephen King, I mean...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46375
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Meredith
get a divorce...get a divorce...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46376
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Kelly
I think I would keep working. And for my salary I guess I would take like a dollar a year....I mean obviously I wouldn't come in till noon and I wouldn't do anything I didn't wanna do. I mean I'm getting paid a dollar a year, OK? You can chill.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46377
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Andy
Are you kidding me?! Guys if I have to ask you to get back to work one more time, I'm gonna change my tone. To down here like Mr. T. and this will get seriously annoying. I feel sympathy for the jerks who have to listen to this all day. Darryl, how we doin' on the new warehouse guys?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46378
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Darryl
I don't know.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46379
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Andy
What d-? What..what? Wuh, do we have new guys, or what?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46380
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Darryl
No.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46381
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Andy
Are they on their way over?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46382
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Darryl
I haven't hired anyone.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46383
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Phyllis
What? No warehouse guys? I have an important order that has to go out by five. I emailed you about it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46384
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Darryl
I'm not checkin' email till lunch. Four hour work week.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46385
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Andy
This is kinda time sensitive.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46386
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Darryl
I got it. I'm doin' it.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46387
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Phyllis
Andy, this is a seriously big order. I can't lose this client.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46388
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Andy
Alright, well until we have a new crew, let's get some volunteers for warehouse duty. Who's in?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46389
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Erin
As long as you guys don't need me up here.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46390
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Phyllis
No..we don't
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46391
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Dwight
I think we'll be fine.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46392
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Oscar
Really, nobody's gonna help her? Is chivalry dead?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46393
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Andy
Are you volunteering?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46394
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Oscar
Of course. I would. But my hip....I would kill to be at a hundred percent.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46395
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Andy
Jim! How 'bout you?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46396
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Jim
Uh, yeah. I mean, as the strongest person in this office, I guess I should go down with you...
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46397
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Dwight
Hey...OK no. No. That. You are so not...oh god. False. Andy, I will volunteer.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46398
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Andy
Great. And Kevin.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46399
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Kevin
Good old Kevin. He'll do anything. Well guess what? I will not do a good job.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46400
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Pam
Oh, thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46401
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Angela
Sure.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46402
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Pam
Wait, wait. What's this?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46403
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Angela
Oh, sorry. I thought it was a guess your baby's birth weight pool.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46404
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Pam
It says 'Lotto Pool', right on top.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46405
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Angela
Yeah. And I said sorry.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46406
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Pam
Oh come on. You really think I'm gonna have a fourteen pound baby?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46407
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Darryl
When did I get so fat?
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46408
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Andy
You look awesome.
Season 8 · Episode 3 · Quote 46409