Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 29, 2011.
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Andy
Swear to God, hope to die. Now let's get to work!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46190
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Jim
Wait. You did say we could pool our points, right? In that case'let's get to work.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46191
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Dwight
Yeah!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46192
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Pam
Yeah! Whoo!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46193
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Jim
[on the phone]I can have it to you by the beginning of next week. Alright? Thanks very much. Uh, Phyllis! Bracken Auto?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46194
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Phyllis
Ask for Donald, Karen's bananas.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46195
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Jim
Ok.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46196
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Andy
T-bag bone'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46197
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Jim
Andrew.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46198
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Andy
Have you noticed a little bit of a mood shift around here?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46199
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Jim
No, I didn't notice anything.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46200
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Andy
Really? Because I sat next to Stanley for years'.and this is nap time. Open eye nap time. He balances the phone on his shoulder and just powers down. Now look at him.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46201
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Stanley
You've got to unleash the power of the Pyramid!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46202
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Jim
I don't know what to tell you, man.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46203
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Andy
You think it has something to do with that incentive program?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46204
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Jim
Oh, one hundred percent. We all want to see you tattoo your ass.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46205
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Andy
Bah'I think people thought I was kidding when I said that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46206
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Jim
Nah, you definitely weren't kidding. And that came across loud and clear. Oh, by the way, I want to hand this in.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46207
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Andy
Hundred and twenty points.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46208
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Jim
Yeah. Big sale. Don't worry about it though, I don't really care about the points. I would like a point receipt though'Hey! Yes, this is Jim Halpert calling for Donald'can you hold on for one second? Thank you very much.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46209
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Pam
Who talked to Maggie at Kaufman's?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46210
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Erin
Yes!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46211
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Jim
[on the phone]and I'm back. How are you sir?....I think we can squeeze a couple more golf games in, right?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46212
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Pam
Where's Angela?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46213
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Andy
Hey Kevin, what are you doing?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46214
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Kevin
Don't talk to me!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46215
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Andy
Hi, Professor Frank, Andy Bernard, class of '95. Hey there, um, I'm a huge fan of your management book, Management. Um, quick question. I may be missing a chapter here'De-Incentivizing. What are your strategies? Looking for a real blow to morale'uh why? Well, um I guess you could say I'm in one of those classic ass tattoo incentive situations.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46216
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Andy
Took 'em one day.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46217
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Pam
Ready! 'I'm not as think as you drunk I am!'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46218
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Ryan
I like it, I like it!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46219
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Pam
Do Not Resuscitate'[mild cheering]
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46220
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Andy
OK, keep in mind, it's not too late to choose another prize and there are some great new additions. My car for a thousand points'.or best offer.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46221
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Phyllis
What else you got?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46222
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Pam
Oh, and then this was Phyllis's idea'So nasty Phyllis!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46223
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Pam
We were hoping you could do something like this'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46224
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Tattoo Artist
So, coming out of his butt is a'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46225
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Pam
Baby.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46226
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Tattoo Artist
Baby'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46227
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Pam
Yes.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46228
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Tattoo Artist
Yeah, no problem.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46229
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Andy
We should think about this'does anyone have any better ideas?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46230
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Stanley
I like what we have.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46231
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Meredith
Looks good.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46232
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Erin
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46233
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Kevin
For sure.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46234
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Andy
Just need a second outside.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46235
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Jim
Gettin' psyched up?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46236
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Andy
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46237
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Jim
Andy, nobody really expects you to go through with this'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46238
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Andy
Tunes..what am I doing here? Why did Robert pick me? '.Confession: I don't know what I'm doing.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46239
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Jim
I mean, do you like it? You having fun? Tell you this, everybody else is having a lot of fun'.and you did that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46240
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Andy
My ass is only so big, I mean I can't do this everyday.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46241
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Jim
But I think it's big enough to buy you some time till your next great idea'.which, by the way, I can't wait for.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46242
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Andy
No one expects me to go through with this, right?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46243
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Jim
Absolutely not.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46244
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Andy
Let's ink'my stink!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46245
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Andy
My heart belongs to music. But my ass belongs to these people.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46246
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Group
Whoa!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46247
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Andy
Do your worst!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46248
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Tattoo Artist
Uh, you can keep your pants on actually'if just drop 'em down a bit, that'd be great.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46249
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Andy
They are already off, my good sir.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46250
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Tattoo Artist
I'd really prefer they not be down.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46251
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Andy
Well, I think down's better. Sweating pretty heavily down there.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46252
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Pam
Do you think you could work from this? we made some small adjustments.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46253
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Tattoo Artist
OK, you want me to'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46254
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Pam
Just a few adjustments
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46255
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Tattoo Artist
Alright, let's begin.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46256
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Andy
This is where I grin and be-YOW OW!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46257
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Tattoo Artist
That was just the cotton swab.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46258
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Andy
Invest in softer cotton, sir. OW! Oh! Oooh! oh, whoa!!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46259
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Dwight
Obviously you can go the ass tattoo route and obviously, I'm gonna like it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46260
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Dwight
DRAW SOME BLOOD!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46261
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Andy
AHHHHH!!!!!!!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46262
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Robert
Why did I choose Andy to run the office? Because he's all surface, uncomplicated. What you see is what you get. Could be a recipe for mediocrity, yes, but then again, it might just be why people fight for him.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46263
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Andy
It's a Nard Dog! That's my nickity-name! I love it, I love it!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46264
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Jim
Pull up your pants.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46265
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Robert
There's something about an underdog that really inspires'the unexceptional.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46266
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Pam
Um, what should we talk about?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46267
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Angela
Well, we could talk about an ethical dilemma I'm having.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46268
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Pam
Oh yeah, sure. Um, I hope I can help.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46269
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Angela
A coworker of mine is drinking caffeine while pregnant, and I don't know if I should call social services about it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46270
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Pam
Angela, that's pretty transparently me.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46271
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Angela
Maybe.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46272
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Pam
You know it's just herbal tea.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46273
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Angela
In mugs with trace amounts of coffee!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46274
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Pam
Yeah. I think you should call social services.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46275
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Angela
I already did.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46276
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Pam
You know, maybe we should just have our own pregnancies and not pretend like we're in this together.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46277
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Angela
Fine.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46278
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Pam
Fine.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46279
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Andy
When you're a kid, you picture a pilot kinda like this But then you learn that's crashing the plane. The right way to do it is more like this. Or better yet, like this. Now that I'm manager, I think about that a lot. I let Dwight run the meetings, I let good people do good work and I stay out of the way.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46280
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Andy
Which combo do you think Robert's gonna like better?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46281
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Phyllis
Just wear one of your bowties.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46282
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Kelly
No! I mean, let him, he should just explore other options...
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46283
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Kelly
Bowties, no offense, are a black thing. They're for rappers and NBA players. I cringe when I see Tucker Carlson trying to pull off a bowtie. It's like yeah Tucker, you're so street.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46284
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Andy
This is combo number seven.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46285
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All
Hmm, no.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46286
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Pam
I don't like that clip.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46287
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Andy
You're right, you're right, you're right. Uh! It's so hard to find an occasion for this clip.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46288
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Jim
I'd hang on to it though, cause I can think of a bunch. Like a 70's theme party, or a 70's theme meeting, or a 70's theme convention...
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46289