Every line from The Office season 8, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 29, 2011.
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Meredith
I gotta go.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46090
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Robert
If the office superstore was supposed to put us little suppliers out of business, why are we still here?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46091
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Robert
Ah'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46092
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Kevin
This is where we go
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46093
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Robert
Oh, you'd go someplace else. That's not it, that's not the answer.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46094
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Kevin
It's a answer.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46095
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Robert
It's a wrong answer.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46096
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Kevin
There are no wrong answers.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46097
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Robert
Take a look at where you are, where you once worked in a dying industry, you now work at it's birth. Those superstores are terrified of us. Anybody know why?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46098
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Phyllis
Wait'.they're terrified?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46099
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Robert
Let me tell you how I buy something these days. I know what I want I go on the internet, I get the best price. Or I don't know what I want and I go to a small store that can help me. The era of personal service is back. You are back. You'll find that customers will pay our higher prices and then they will thank us, and we will say to them 'you are welcome.' Andrew, I chose you for a reason. Lead these people. Show me the best numbers this place has ever seen. Last quarter we saw 4% growth. Double it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46100
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Andy
You got it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46101
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Robert
Double.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46102
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Andy
Done.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46103
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Robert
I'm not kidding.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46104
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Andy
Neither am I, it's already done. Hah, I'm just kidding, it's going to take some time.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46105
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Robert
Double.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46106
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Jim
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46107
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Andy
What's up, guys? Just thought we'd have a little rap session, talk about business'see how things are going? Ahem'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46108
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Jim
Why don't you start?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46109
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Andy
If no one else wants to? I was just thinking about Robert'man. What a boss. Just throws down goals, you know? Anyway, how's the sales doubling 'project going?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46110
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Phyllis
Yeah, how are we supposed to do that? We can't just press a magic button.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46111
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Andy
OF course not. There's no magic button. You have to summon that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46112
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Stanley
If we could just double our sales, we already would have. You're not making any sense.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46113
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Jim
He brings up two good points. Do you have any new leads? Any new territories you want us to look into? Maybe have an in with a big client that we can get our foot in the door?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46114
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Andy
Dwight, anything?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46115
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Dwight
We could talk about how fast children grow up, and before you know it they're out of the house.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46116
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Andy
You know what? We need to get our heads out of the box. If we did have something, what would it look like, what would it be? Tuna.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46117
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Jim
New leads, a new territory to look into, maybe an in with a big company that we could get our foot in the door'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46118
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Andy
Fart'.. good Sesh. That leg's asleep.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46119
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Justine
Hello. I'm looking for Darryl Philbin?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46120
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Kevin
Don't! oh, you must think'I'm not. I'm using the fax, this isn't, no wait. I'm not supposed to represent the company. Right? There's usually an Erin here.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46121
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Justine
Ok'.?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46122
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Kevin
So'DARRYL! A GIRL!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46123
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Darryl
rub a dub dub'I got scrubbed. 'Sup, darlin'? Everybody, this is Justine. This is Jim and Oscar, everybody.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46124
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Meredith
Hi.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46125
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Kevin
Kevin.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46126
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Justine
Can we'. go some place private?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46127
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Darryl
Follow me, I got a space. After you. I've been thinking about you all mornin'. I don't know what you did, I can barely walk today.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46128
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Andy
D-Bone. There you are.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46129
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Dwight
Let me guess, somebody needs a brownie'? Lick the spoon?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46130
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Andy
No, that's ok. Just, I want, I wanted to ask you about'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46131
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Dwight
Is this about the profits? Because if it is I just don't see the point. It's so Wall Street.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46132
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Andy
I know, right?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46133
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Dwight
Right?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46134
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Andy
Yeah'um, how is everything?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46135
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Dwight
Good. Really really good.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46136
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Andy
Must be a tough time to be a family farm.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46137
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Dwight
Oh, it is. And beets are not immune. We made some inroads in salads, but heirloom tomatoes are pushing back.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46138
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Andy
Oof. What are you gonna do about that?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46139
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Dwight
I don't know, what do you mean?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46140
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Andy
There's gotta be some way you can double your beet sales'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46141
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Dwight
You wanted the job, the job is yours. Just do the job! And I'll do mine'.. walnuts?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46142
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Kevin
No!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46143
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Angela
Have you seen this?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46144
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Pam
Parenting? Yeah. This is Cici's favorite magazine. She loves the pictures of babies.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46145
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Jim
She looks at it when she's on the potty, and she makes the faces.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46146
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Angela
Have you read it? Has an adult member of your family read this particular issue?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46147
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Pam
I flipped through it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46148
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Angela
So you saw the article on the importance of taking frequent walks while you're pregnant?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46149
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Pam
Of course.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46150
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Jim
We know that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46151
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46152
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Angela
I will be taking a morning walk and an afternoon walk. Would you like to join me?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46153
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Pam
That sounds nice.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46154
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Angela
Great.[Angela walks away]
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46155
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Jim
You have a walking buddy.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46156
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Pam
I do.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46157
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Andy
Thanks for coming in guys.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46158
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Phyllis
You don't have to thank us for coming in, it's our job.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46159
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Andy
Well I never got thanked for coming into a meeting and I always wanted to be so I'm gonna thank people.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46160
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Meredith
What's with the blanket?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46161
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Andy
This is what's under the blanket.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46162
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Oscar
We don't get it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46163
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Andy
These are incentives. It's how we're gonna double growth. Now, you're probably all asking yourselves: 'Well, how does this work?'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46164
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Pam
Seems like a basic reward system where you give us points, and then we redeem those points for prizes.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46165
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Andy
You're exactly right and you get a point.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46166
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Pam
Oh.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46167
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Ryan
Uh, is that a vibrator?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46168
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Andy
Twenty points.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46169
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Meredith
How does one get a point?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46170
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Andy
I've outlined the exact parameters in an email, so check your spam folders, but basically you do your job better, you get points. So, collect fifteen points and redeem them for this polar bear.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46171
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Kelly
Why is it all kid stuff and a vibrator? It's so gross.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46172
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Andy
There's lots of stuff. John Irving, collected works, Twenty-two points. Or, you can pool your points and redeem fifty-five for this maternity shirt.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46173
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Stanley
How 'bout you want us to work harder, pay us more.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46174
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Andy
I can't.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46175
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Kelly
This point system is really insulting.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46176
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Andy
Ooh I didn't mean to offend you, and I hope you'll forgive me because I am very very' Sari. Sixteen points.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46177
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Kelly
That's a tablecloth.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46178
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Jim
What if we went all the way up to five hundred points?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46179
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Andy
That's a crazy amount of points.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46180
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Jim
But, what if?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46181
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Andy
Well, what do you want?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46182
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Jim
I don't know, for such a crazy number I'd like something pretty crazy.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46183
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Andy
Alright. For five hundred points, I will wear a dress to work.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46184
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Jim
That's pretty good. What about uh, for a thousand points?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46185
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Andy
I'll run naked through the parking lot with a donut on my ding-dong. Yeah? You like that? Alright! For five thousand points, I will let you tattoo whatever you want on the stern of the old SS Bernard![Andy points to his rear-end]
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46186
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Group
Ooooh!
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46187
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Oscar
Really?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46188
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Jim
Alright, alright. And you are totally serious?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46189