Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 29, 2011.
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Jim
Hey, so this isn't matching up with this'and I'm not sure which one's right. Can you just hunt down the original for me?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45990
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Kevin
Yes. Me do.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45991
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Jim
Alright.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45992
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Jim
Hey Kev, what were you saying before about the paperwork?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45993
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Kevin
Me do it now. Go. Stop worry.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45994
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Pam
Kevin, do you feel OK?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45995
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Kevin
Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45996
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Pam
Yeah, I think we should get him to the hospital.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45997
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Jim
Yeah, alright Kev why don't you come with us?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45998
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Oscar
No, guys.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 45999
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Angela
No, he's fine.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46000
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Oscar
He's fine.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46001
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Angela
He's always been like that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46002
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Pam
No he hasn't.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46003
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Angela
I mean, he's gotten worse over the years'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46004
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Oscar
He's making a statement. It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. A funhouse image of our model of Kevin.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46005
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Kevin
You keep think that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46006
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Kevin
Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say 'car no go', and we best friends. So me think: why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46007
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Andy
Kevin, I appreciate what you're trying to do.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46008
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Kevin
Thank.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46009
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Andy
Here, we have a word code, the same way we have a dress code. And what we're talking about is'basically the speech equivalent' to just wearing underpants. Sometimes words, you no need use'but need need for talk talk.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46010
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Kevin
But save time. More success.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46011
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Jim
Does it save time though? 'Cause we've been here for about an hour.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46012
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Kevin
No me fault.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46013
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Pam
Kevin, at most you're saving a microscopic amount of time.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46014
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Kevin
Many small time make big time.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46015
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Andy
What are you gonna do with all this time?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46016
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Kevin
See world.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46017
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Pam
Kevin, you cannot possibly save enough time to see the world.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46018
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Jim
K, Kevin, are you saying 'See the world'? or 'Sea World?'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46019
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Kevin
See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46020
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Jim
No, see? Right there, that's the problem with your method. 'Cause I still don't know if you're saying 'Sea World' or 'see the world,' and it's taking a lot of time to explain it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46021
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Kevin
Fine, fine. I'll talk normally.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46022
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Kevin
When me President, they see. They see.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46023
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Dwight
This week we are rolling out the brand new Sabre tablet'.the Pyramid.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46024
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Phyllis
Ooh, why is it shaped like that?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46025
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Dwight
So, you can tell your clients: 'Unleash the power of the pyramid.'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46026
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Pam
It's huge. How much does it weigh?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46027
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Dwight
Oh no no no. Without the battery pack and optional memory booster, it's barely three pounds.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46028
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Ryan
How much memory does it have without the booster?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46029
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Dwight
Fifty L.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46030
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Ryan
I'm sorry,' L'?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46031
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Jim
How many L to a K?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46032
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Dwight
You're really going to want the booster.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46033
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Stanley
How on earth are we supposed to sell'?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46034
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Jim
I'll take five.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46035
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Phyllis
Andy, don't make us sell this stupid thing.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46036
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Andy
Oh, no no no no no. This is Dwight's meeting.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46037
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Dwight
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46038
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Andy
I just wanted to pop in and get your opinions on ties'and tie clips. Which combo do you think Robert is going to like more? What do you think, C-SPAN?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46039
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Oscar
''C-SPAN'?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46040
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Andy
Yeah. C-SPAN, cocker spaniel. Spaniel because of your Spanish bloodline and cocker cause''
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46041
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Dwight
Is this really the best use of our collective time?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46042
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Andy
I am still forming a first impression with Robert. Once it is formed, we can all relax. Ok, I'm sorry to hijack your meeting , D dub dog'had to pull rank.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46043
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Dwight
OK, let's look at some ties.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46044
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Dwight
Here's how I'm going to help out from now on. I'm going to not care, and I'm going to sit around quietly waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46045
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Dwight
Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46046
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Erin
Um, D-Dog, you have a message.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46047
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Pam
Erin, you don't need to call him that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46048
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Erin
Andy wants us to, P-Dog.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46049
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Darryl
It's ok E-Dog, just who called?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46050
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Erin
Justine. She said she's coming by later.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46051
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Jim
Your ex-wife?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46052
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Kevin
Wait, I thought she was a **** and you ******* hated her guts?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46053
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Darryl
No no no no. I like her.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46054
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Kevin
Well I'm just quoting you. I would never say that about her. I don't know the woman.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46055
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Darryl
Nah man, we get along now. Real well.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46056
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Jim
Wow. Alright. Can't wait to meet her.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46057
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Darryl
I'll introduce you.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46058
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Darryl
Yeah, we had a few fights, I suppose. But last night we put a lot of that to bed. I can't tell you what I did with my ex wife last night'. I have to sing it. We took a shower, we were naked. We ska dap dap doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46059
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Andy
Hi Dad!...... Ahhh'.oh boy.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46060
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Robert
Hello, Andy. Excellent tie.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46061
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Erin
Would you be requiring a cold beverage while you're here?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46062
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Robert
I'd love some coffee.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46063
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Robert
I was looking over your projections, and I think we can do better.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46064
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Andy
Are you factoring in the' whole national 'economy'. declining and all that?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46065
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Robert
Andy, do you know why I chose you?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46066
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Andy
I think I can sum it up with what I think is your favorite ice cream flavor'.vanilla?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46067
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Robert
Vanilla? No no no no. You'll never guess in a million billion years you'll never guess.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46068
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Andy
You were saying you chose me'. There was a reason?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46069
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Robert
Andy, can you inspire? Do you have that skill set?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46070
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Andy
Can I inspire? I don't know!.....I don't know.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46071
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Robert
Oh! Thank you. Uh'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46072
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Erin
Oh, sorry.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46073
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Robert
You can just put it down.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46074
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Erin
Oh
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46075
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Robert
That is very cold.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46076
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Erin
Yeah. It's old.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46077
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Robert
Why would I'..?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46078
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Erin
I asked if you wanted a cold beverage and you said 'coffee''.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46079
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Andy
Why don't we get Robert a nice hot fresh cup and I will have this.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46080
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Erin
Andy, you don't want that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46081
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Andy
I've been craving a freezing cup of old coffee. Mmm'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46082
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Erin
Sorry.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46083
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Robert
You like her.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46084
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Andy
I do.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46085
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Robert
She likes you.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46086
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Andy
You know, we've both been into each other at different times and just never really synced up. Now we're in this weird dance'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46087
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Robert
I'm afraid you've lost my interest.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46088
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Oscar
Let me call you back.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Quote 46089