Every line from The Office season 8, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 29, 2011.
-
Jim
Hey, so this isn't matching up with this'and I'm not sure which one's right. Can you just hunt down the original for me?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45990
-
Kevin
Yes. Me do.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45991
-
Jim
Alright.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45992
-
Jim
Hey Kev, what were you saying before about the paperwork?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45993
-
Kevin
Me do it now. Go. Stop worry.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45994
-
Pam
Kevin, do you feel OK?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45995
-
Kevin
Me feel good. Body strong. Sleep big last night.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45996
-
Pam
Yeah, I think we should get him to the hospital.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45997
-
Jim
Yeah, alright Kev why don't you come with us?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45998
-
Oscar
No, guys.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 45999
-
Angela
No, he's fine.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46000
-
Oscar
He's fine.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46001
-
Angela
He's always been like that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46002
-
Pam
No he hasn't.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46003
-
Angela
I mean, he's gotten worse over the years'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46004
-
Oscar
He's making a statement. It's an ironic comment on our expectations of him. A funhouse image of our model of Kevin.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46005
-
Kevin
You keep think that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46006
-
Kevin
Me mechanic not speak English. But he know what me mean when me say 'car no go', and we best friends. So me think: why waste time, say lot word when few word do trick?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46007
-
Andy
Kevin, I appreciate what you're trying to do.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46008
-
Kevin
Thank.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46009
-
Andy
Here, we have a word code, the same way we have a dress code. And what we're talking about is'basically the speech equivalent' to just wearing underpants. Sometimes words, you no need use'but need need for talk talk.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46010
-
Kevin
But save time. More success.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46011
-
Jim
Does it save time though? 'Cause we've been here for about an hour.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46012
-
Kevin
No me fault.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46013
-
Pam
Kevin, at most you're saving a microscopic amount of time.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46014
-
Kevin
Many small time make big time.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46015
-
Andy
What are you gonna do with all this time?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46016
-
Kevin
See world.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46017
-
Pam
Kevin, you cannot possibly save enough time to see the world.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46018
-
Jim
K, Kevin, are you saying 'See the world'? or 'Sea World?'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46019
-
Kevin
See world. Oceans. Fish. Jump. China.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46020
-
Jim
No, see? Right there, that's the problem with your method. 'Cause I still don't know if you're saying 'Sea World' or 'see the world,' and it's taking a lot of time to explain it.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46021
-
Kevin
Fine, fine. I'll talk normally.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46022
-
Kevin
When me President, they see. They see.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46023
-
Dwight
This week we are rolling out the brand new Sabre tablet'.the Pyramid.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46024
-
Phyllis
Ooh, why is it shaped like that?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46025
-
Dwight
So, you can tell your clients: 'Unleash the power of the pyramid.'
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46026
-
Pam
It's huge. How much does it weigh?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46027
-
Dwight
Oh no no no. Without the battery pack and optional memory booster, it's barely three pounds.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46028
-
Ryan
How much memory does it have without the booster?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46029
-
Dwight
Fifty L.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46030
-
Ryan
I'm sorry,' L'?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46031
-
Jim
How many L to a K?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46032
-
Dwight
You're really going to want the booster.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46033
-
Stanley
How on earth are we supposed to sell'?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46034
-
Jim
I'll take five.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46035
-
Phyllis
Andy, don't make us sell this stupid thing.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46036
-
Andy
Oh, no no no no no. This is Dwight's meeting.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46037
-
Dwight
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46038
-
Andy
I just wanted to pop in and get your opinions on ties'and tie clips. Which combo do you think Robert is going to like more? What do you think, C-SPAN?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46039
-
Oscar
''C-SPAN'?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46040
-
Andy
Yeah. C-SPAN, cocker spaniel. Spaniel because of your Spanish bloodline and cocker cause''
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46041
-
Dwight
Is this really the best use of our collective time?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46042
-
Andy
I am still forming a first impression with Robert. Once it is formed, we can all relax. Ok, I'm sorry to hijack your meeting , D dub dog'had to pull rank.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46043
-
Dwight
OK, let's look at some ties.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46044
-
Dwight
Here's how I'm going to help out from now on. I'm going to not care, and I'm going to sit around quietly waiting for Andy's inevitable demise.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46045
-
Dwight
Your friend Neil Patrick Harris really made me laugh the other night.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46046
-
Erin
Um, D-Dog, you have a message.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46047
-
Pam
Erin, you don't need to call him that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46048
-
Erin
Andy wants us to, P-Dog.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46049
-
Darryl
It's ok E-Dog, just who called?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46050
-
Erin
Justine. She said she's coming by later.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46051
-
Jim
Your ex-wife?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46052
-
Kevin
Wait, I thought she was a **** and you ******* hated her guts?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46053
-
Darryl
No no no no. I like her.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46054
-
Kevin
Well I'm just quoting you. I would never say that about her. I don't know the woman.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46055
-
Darryl
Nah man, we get along now. Real well.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46056
-
Jim
Wow. Alright. Can't wait to meet her.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46057
-
Darryl
I'll introduce you.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46058
-
Darryl
Yeah, we had a few fights, I suppose. But last night we put a lot of that to bed. I can't tell you what I did with my ex wife last night'. I have to sing it. We took a shower, we were naked. We ska dap dap doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46059
-
Andy
Hi Dad!...... Ahhh'.oh boy.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46060
-
Robert
Hello, Andy. Excellent tie.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46061
-
Erin
Would you be requiring a cold beverage while you're here?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46062
-
Robert
I'd love some coffee.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46063
-
Robert
I was looking over your projections, and I think we can do better.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46064
-
Andy
Are you factoring in the' whole national 'economy'. declining and all that?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46065
-
Robert
Andy, do you know why I chose you?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46066
-
Andy
I think I can sum it up with what I think is your favorite ice cream flavor'.vanilla?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46067
-
Robert
Vanilla? No no no no. You'll never guess in a million billion years you'll never guess.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46068
-
Andy
You were saying you chose me'. There was a reason?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46069
-
Robert
Andy, can you inspire? Do you have that skill set?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46070
-
Andy
Can I inspire? I don't know!.....I don't know.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46071
-
Robert
Oh! Thank you. Uh'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46072
-
Erin
Oh, sorry.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46073
-
Robert
You can just put it down.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46074
-
Erin
Oh
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46075
-
Robert
That is very cold.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46076
-
Erin
Yeah. It's old.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46077
-
Robert
Why would I'..?
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46078
-
Erin
I asked if you wanted a cold beverage and you said 'coffee''.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46079
-
Andy
Why don't we get Robert a nice hot fresh cup and I will have this.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46080
-
Erin
Andy, you don't want that.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46081
-
Andy
I've been craving a freezing cup of old coffee. Mmm'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46082
-
Erin
Sorry.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46083
-
Robert
You like her.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46084
-
Andy
I do.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46085
-
Robert
She likes you.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46086
-
Andy
You know, we've both been into each other at different times and just never really synced up. Now we're in this weird dance'.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46087
-
Robert
I'm afraid you've lost my interest.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46088
-
Oscar
Let me call you back.
Season 8 · Episode 2 · Line 46089