Ryan

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51977

Pam

Okay fine. Ryan, something the matter?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51978

Ryan

Smokey's dead.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51979

Pam

Smokey, the bear?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51980

Ryan

Smokey Robinson Pam. He died like an hour ago, I guess I'm the first to know.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51981

Jim

Wow That's terrible, I really liked him.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51982

Ryan

Oh you liked him? That's nice. Did you like when he changed the course of American music like two or three times? Did you like that tracks of my tears is maybe the last true love song ever written? I'm glad you liked him Jim. I am completely devastated right now.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51983

Jim

Well, I second that emotion.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51984

Ryan

Huh?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51985

Nellie

I know a few of his songs, but what were his big ones?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51986

Ryan

Oh God, Nellie! What wasn't his? I mean, um, 'Tracks of my Tears'?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51987

Nellie

Yeah

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51988

Ryan

Um... God, so many, Nellie!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51989

Pam

No, no, no, 'Tracks of My Tears' and what else? What are some more? What's one more?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51990

Ryan

Okay, I'm not... I'm not playing this game, Pam. Not today.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51991

Pam

I don't think you love Smokey Robinson. I think you're just doing all of this to prove how deep you are about music

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51992

Ryan

Okay, I'm sorry I'm not a fan of Jason Mraz or the Beatles.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51993

Dwight

You don't like the Beatles?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51994

Ryan

That's... That's not the point!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51995

Dwight

Eleanor Rigby? Paperback writer?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51996

Ryan

Okay, you know, you always think you have time to see these legends before they go. What was I so busy doing?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51997

Oscar

It says here this Smokey Robinson dead thing was a hoax. It's on CNN as of two minutes ago.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51998

Ryan

Okay well, that's a relief!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 51999

Jim

Wow! Look at that! It says he's actually playing State College. That's only three hours away!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52000

Pam

Oh my God, Ryan! That's perfect! You have to go!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52001

Jim

Tickets are 250 bucks.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52002

Pam

250 dollars is nothing to the world's biggest Smokey Robinson fan.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52003

Ryan

Yeah... Who's opening?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52004

Jim

Paul Anka.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52005

Ryan

Paul Anka?! How can they make the Smoke Man play with someone like that? I don't think I can see this.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52006

Jim

Okay, you could just show up late though.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52007

Ryan

How much is parking, like 30 bucks? That's not what Smokey would have wanted. Does want.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52008

Pam

Tears of a clown!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52009

Ryan

Don't call me a clown, Pam. You're better than that!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52010

Darryl

Looking good, RC!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52011

Robert

Ugh, I hate ties! I feel like I'm being strangled like I'm at some erotic asphyxiation sex club over on I-84. The red room say? Or Dominick's?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52012

Angela

Robert! The senator was going to wear dark brown tonight... I'm sure it will be fine.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52013

Angela

My husband is sponsoring a fundraiser tonight for local dog shelters! Robert California bought two tables for everyone here! These people were lucky to get seats because it is going to be a who's who of the northern 22nd district!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52014

Dwight

I don't want to alarm people, but there is a distinct chance that we are all about to be killed

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52015

Jim

Well, as long as you don't want to alarm people...

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52016

Oscar

What's going on?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52017

Dwight

There is a disgruntled ex-employee sitting in his car in the parking lot.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52018

Erin

Oh that's Andy. He's just hanging out

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52019

Dwight

That's how workplace tragedies always begin. A middle aged white male 'hanging out'. Call the cops!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52020

Pam

Dwight, I don't think he's going to hurt anybody.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52021

Phyllis

How do you? I mean, why do you think he's there?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52022

Dwight

I don't even know what kind of weapon he has. Could be a knife, could be a gun. Could be a series of guns all lined up to shoot parallel. I'm going up to the roof. And I'm gonna bring my gym bag just in case.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52023

Nellie

I knew this would happen! Everybody told me if I moved to America, I'd be murdered.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52024

Andy

Hey!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52025

Erin

Hey, just wanted to say hi and hear you say everything is normal. Maybe video tape you saying that so that everyone upstairs can see.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52026

Angela

We think you might kill Robert.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52027

Andy

What?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52028

Kevin

because he fired you which means apparently you're living in your car now.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52029

Andy

guys, everything is fine! I'm just here to pick up Erin. We're going to the Fundraiser.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52030

Pam

Oh, great! That sounds good!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52031

Kevin

Wait, what? You're going to the fundraiser tonight? That's going to be weird.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52032

Andy

Why would that be weird?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52033

Kevin

It's going to be super weird, he just fired you last week.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52034

Erin

Andy's just coming as my date.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52035

Kevin

Hey, I hear you! I hope you're right. It just seems like it's going to be really, really weird.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52036

Nellie

Come in!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52037

Darryl

You really re-did Andy's office, huh?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52038

Nellie

Yes, cut out the clutter. Very simple, very minimal.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52039

Darryl

I need you to sign these, we got a shipment going out.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52040

Nellie

How are things in the warehouse?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52041

Darryl

You could go downstairs and ask them?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52042

Nellie

The warehouse isn't downstairs? Is it? Is it?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52043

Darryl

Who knew, right?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52044

Nellie

I...

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52045

Nellie

Tonight could be the night that Darryl and I go from casual work friends to actual good friends. The only thing standing in our way is the contempt he seems to feel for me.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52046

Angela

Robert, the senator and I wanted to stop by and say hello.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52047

Andy

Hello! Did anyone order a blast from the past, with a side order of sexy?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52048

Kevin

Oh man, this is weird!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52049

Robert

Andrew.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52050

Andy

Oh, Wanna shake my hand, huh? Cause I want to shake your body! I had you, I had you!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52051

Andy

Where do I look? It's been so long since I did one of these things? Okay, alright! What's the question? How am I doing? Umm... Great!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52052

Kevin

Creed, I just bid twenty dollars on six Jiu-Jitsu lessons. No one's raping this guy!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52053

Creed

Well, I don't want to get raped Twenty-Two!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52054

Kevin

No! It was my idea to not be raped!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52055

Dwight

Wait, you think Jiu-Jitsu classes cost $22 If you're going to guess the price, you might as well try to be halfway accurate. $180!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52056

Kevin

Whoa, Dwight, I don't think you understand.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52057

Dwight

You guess the price, you win the prize. Have you never been to a Quaker fair before? God!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52058

Kevin

So Dwight doesn't understand silent auctions. I guess he's the stupid guy in the office, huh? Up till now, we didn't have one!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52059

Andy

What haven't I been doing? Gosh, just today I was working on this rock opera that I'm writing, though it feels more like I'm receiving it than writing it.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52060

Jim

Wow, that's exciting! But until you firm up the idea, you might want to keep it between us.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52061

Andy

The hero lives in this dystopian future and he flies around in a spaceship that's shaped like a treble clef. And he has to sing his heart out to destroy all evil.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52062

Pam

Sounds like you're doing alright.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52063

Andy

Ehh, a little better than alright, actually. Really good!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52064

Ryan

Oh, this guy is having a breakdown.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52065

Senator

You know, Oscar, I really had no idea you were so passionate about animals.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52066

Oscar

my dog Gerald is my life.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52067

Senator

really? Well, if you want to get involved, call me. This is my cell. I'm more likely to pick up night, say after 9... Excuse me.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52068

Oscar

This confirms three things: I'm right about the senator, I still got it, and poor Angela.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52069

Robert

I stepped in right away and start--

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52070

Andy

Bobby! Bobbo! You're a rock opera guy, right? You like rock operas?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52071

Robert

Well...

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52072

Andy

You gotta check out this thing I'm working on, it's really cool. There's this character Thomas Oregon, and he wants to destroy all the guitars in the world because he realizes that music is the one thing he can't control.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52073

Robert

So, Thomas Oregon is an evil figure?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52074

Andy

Evil! although he's humanized in the end because he weeps uncontrolably and pees in his pants.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52075

Robert

and the hero, who's that based on?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52076

"Fundraiser" Quotes