Andy

Me, I guess. We're flying so high, we're crackin' the sky! Gonna fly out of this dome my girlfriend and I!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52077

Meredith

Hey jabroni. Show some class.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52078

Stanley

She's right, Andy. you're being a jabroni

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52079

Andy

You're being a Thomas Oregon!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52080

Robert

Andrew, I think this may have been a bad idea. Why don't you let me pay for you and Erin to go out to a great romantic dinner tonight?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52081

Andy

Don't need you to pay for me. I'm doing just fine, thank you. Why don't you quit harshing our mellow?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52082

Robert

Andy you should leave. Now.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52083

Andy

Excuse me. I would like to purchase two seats at another table, please.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52084

Waiter

I'm sorry, the tables are sold as complete units.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52085

Andy

then I'll take a table!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52086

Waiter

Okay

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52087

Andy

And a high five! Oh, let's do this again!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52088

Andy

Oh, yes indeed... When! Whoa, whoa, whoa! You forgot a few salads! When!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52089

Oscar

I stumbled into a very dramatic situation. Angelas husband just hit on me!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52090

Pam

Oh my god!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52091

Oscar

I know!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52092

Jim

Wait, what? Come on!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52093

Oscar

We were talking about animals, he gives me his cell phone number. He was just dying for me to have it.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52094

Jim

Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying you're not dreamy, because you are, but isn't it possible that he was just schmoosing a voter?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52095

Oscar

Well, if you would have seen the look he gave me, he wanted to run more than just my vote.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52096

Jim

Okay, what was this look?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52097

Pam

Whoa!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52098

Jim

What happened, did he do it?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52099

Pam

Are you-- Twice! For real?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52100

Jim

Okay guys, not every glance means something, alright? Life isn't Downton Abbey.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52101

Pam

Life is Downton Abbey.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52102

Jim

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go over there and I'm going to talk to him and I guarantee you he gives out his cell phone to everybody.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52103

Dwight

How much do you guys charge for a one full year gym membership? Thank you!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52104

Dwight

It's $475! Like candy from a baby!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52105

Andy

Hey... David Wallace!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52106

David

Andy Bernard!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52107

Andy

Hey, how are you?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52108

David

How you doing, I'm great! How you doing, are you still with Dunder Mifflin?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52109

Andy

No, got canned last week.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52110

David

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52111

Andy

No, best thing that ever happened to me.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52112

David

That's the attitude to have. You know what, when I got canned, I was lost, right? I poured myself into this ridiculous vacuum for toys called Suck-It.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52113

Andy

Yikes!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52114

David

Yeah, exactly right? Then suddenly out of nowhere, the US military bought the patent from me for twenty million dollars! The point is, forget those guys, k? Move on! Good to see you, Andy!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52115

Nellie

Call me a lame man, but I wish there was some real food here. You know, like hamburgers... Or Oreos... Or a pizza pie or, what's another food that we like?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52116

Darryl

Tacos.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52117

Nellie

What I wouldn't give for a big mess of tacos right now!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52118

Darryl

I can go get us some tacos.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52119

Nellie

Brilliant!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52120

Darryl

If you loan me some money.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52121

Nellie

Yes, I can do that. For, um, for two tacos, we'd probably need about what 20... $20? Or $25? $20?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52122

Darryl

$30.00

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52123

Nellie

$30, yes!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52124

Nellie

I've never eaten a taco. I'm not entirely sure what they are. As long as they're not slimy, and please god don't let them have eyes!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52125

Oscar

So?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52126

Jim

Boom!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52127

Oscar

This is interesting.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52128

Pam

Hm-hmm.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52129

Jim

what is interesting? I just proved that he gives his cell out to everybody.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52130

Pam

Or you proved that he thinks you're gay.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52131

Oscar

He does not think Jim's gay. A gay man would not leave the house wearing those shoes.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52132

Pam

Well, a gay man would not leave the store wearing those shoes!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52133

Jim

Oh, hey! you bought me those shoes!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52134

Speaker

Before we bring out our guest of honor tonight, we are very proud to introduce a great philanthropist and a great guy. Robert California!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52135

Robert

Thank you. Why do we love dogs? Want me to tell you why? There is no answer. Our love for them confounds reason!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52136

Andy

can you believe this guy?

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52137

Robert

The state senator, Robert Lipton, loves dogs. he asked me if I loved dogs. you know what I said? Yes!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52138

Andy

Not a joke. That was not even a joke.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52139

Robert

Bella here was a therapy dog for ten years. when her owner passed away she came to this organization for placement. But people don't often adopt older dogs, so Bella and eleven heroes like her are being cared for by our generous volunteers because frankly nobody else will

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52140

Andy

I will! I will take all of those dogs!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52141

Robert

Andy, that's very kind--

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52142

Andy

No, no, no. This guy can talk and talk all he wants, but it's not that complicated.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52143

Robert

Andy why don't we discuss this at a--

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52144

Andy

No, no, no, it's about being there for someone after it's become inconvenient for them to be around. Hello everyone, I am Andy Bernard and I am going to take that bitch home! That is a female dog reference. This bitch understands loyalty! Sassy human reference thank you, I will take Bella and every single one of her friends!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52145

Erin

Oh God!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52146

Senator

Mr. Bernard, right this way.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52147

Andy

Okay! Hope you all learned something!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52148

Vet

Huey is going to need this medication once every 90 minutes. You can administer it orally, but he's going to puke it up. So, other end is best. Don't split up Daisy and Mojo because daisy will start to, uh... I was going to say bark, but it's more of a scream.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52149

Andy

I'm so ready to love all of these animals. This one's even bonding with me already.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52150

Vet

Uh, no. Kenny's a therapy dog. He apparently thinks you're in some kind of emotional crisis.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52151

Andy

Stupid dog.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52152

Senator

Well, if you would like to talk about this some more, my office is always open! So here's my office number, and my cell number.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52153

Meredith

Thank you!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52154

Pam

Well, looks like he really did just want to talk about the issues. i'm Sorry Oscar.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52155

Oscar

sorry about what? There's nothing to be sorry about here.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52156

Oscar

No. I'm certainly not disappointed that Angelas husband was not hitting on me. I'd have to be a monster to root for that. A lonely, aging monster.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52157

Darryl

Tacos were on sale, eight for $3!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52158

Nellie

Oh, great! Okay, oh... Oh, these tacos!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52159

Darryl

Hmhmm.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52160

Nellie

Mmm! Uhh Mmmm... Oh! Hmmph!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52161

Darryl

She's trying.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52162

Speaker

The winner of the three day trip to the sky top lodge is Dwight Schrute!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52163

Dwight

Yes! Thank you!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52164

Speaker

The yearlong membership to Scraton-Bikram Yoga is Dwight Schrute!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52165

Dwight

Oh yes! Yeah!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52166

Speaker

A one hour appointment with the kissing magician goes to Dwight Schrute!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52167

Dwight

Oh, oh, oh! Yeah! Ha, ha!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52168

Speaker

Well, I think I can save us some time, Dwight Schrute has won every single item here!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52169

Dwight

Thank you very much! All I had to do was look at the prices, idiots! Suck it!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52170

Speaker

Well, Dwight, yes! You certainly are a record breaker! Your donation is the largest we've ever received at over 34 thousand dollars!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52171

Jim

Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52172

Dwight

Thank you. Wow, I can't tell you what an honor it is to support this thing... And obviously that amount of money is no concern to me whatsoever. But, I want to ask you something: when did it become all about the money. when did it become about the flower arrangements, and the white wine spritser, hmm? and all the dinner rolls. you people should be ashamed of yourselves! How many courses did we have tonight, two? Three maybe, if you choose the pudding? I mean what waste! these tables tarted up like Victorian whores! lets' remember we are all here for the dog society. He's what's important, whatever his name is. Not any of this. So that is going to be my donation to you. Thank you and good night!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52173

Senator

Oscar!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52174

Oscar

Nice to see you again, it was lovely!

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52175

Senator

It was lovely! And don't forget to call.

Season 8 · Episode 22 · Line 52176

"Fundraiser" Quotes (page 2)