Every line from The Office season 8, episode 21, in script order. First aired April 19, 2012.
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Nellie
Two... one.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51785
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Erin
There you go. Hey. we're gonna have a nice, hot date.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51786
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Erin
Hey. So last night was so not a big deal.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51787
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Andy
Oh, yeah, I was just tired.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51788
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Erin
We both were. Plus, I was definitely not my normal sexy self.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51789
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Andy
Whoa. No. Are you kidding? You were so sexy. Just the thought of you last night, like, crazy turns me on. It just didn't last night.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51790
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Erin
Really. It's not a big deal.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51791
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Andy
Yeah. I know it's not... a big deal.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51792
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Ryan
I found this the other day while I was journaling and they reminded me of you.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51793
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Kelly
Oh, those are from our weekend at the time share.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51794
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Ryan
Yeah, the fractional ownership property. Oh, we took this one right before we got in that huge fight.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51795
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Kelly
God I don't even remember what that fight was about.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51796
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Ryan
You were being really bratty about where we would go out to dinner. But all I remember is how pretty you looked, taking those pictures of me. Anyway, if you want to order prints of your own, I can send you the link.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51797
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Ryan
I'm in love with Kelly Kapoor. And I don't know how I'm gonna feel tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, but I do know that right here, right now, all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with her. Again, that could change.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51798
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Erin
When you lost the manager job-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51799
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Dwight
Yes?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51800
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Erin
Did it affect you outside of the office?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51801
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Dwight
How?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51802
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Erin
I don't know what the technical term is... Penial softiosis?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51803
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Dwight
Erin, I am so glad that you trusted me. You came to the exact right person for this. No, I have never once experienced anything remotely like that. Never.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51804
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Erin
Oh, okay.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51805
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Dwight
Okay?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51806
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Erin
Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51807
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Dwight
Washington Monument.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51808
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Erin
Oh.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51809
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Dwight
Eiffel Tower.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51810
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Erin
Okay, okay.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51811
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Pam
I saw you were getting along with Ryan again.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51812
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Kelly
He's so sweet. He pointed to my latte and he said, 'Kelly, that will be the color of our children.'
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51813
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Pam
Yeah, he's so great. Remember how it felt when he cheated on you though?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51814
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Kelly
Which time?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51815
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Pam
I am not going to let Kelly throw her life away on Ryan. And it has nothing to do with access to my pediatrician. Why you would even ask or were going to ask, because I- I felt like that question was coming.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51816
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Dwight
One of Toby's eyes is getting smaller. So there's that. Gabe bragged about having an extra ticket to the air show this weekend and Meredith said she was interested and then Gabe said immediately that his friend might be taking the ticket. So I'll keep you posted on that.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51817
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Dwight
Every day I brief Nellie on what's going on in the office. Most of it's irrelevant. But a good informer doesn't judge what's worth passing on.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51818
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Dwight
Oh, and Andy lost his masculinity, so congratulations on that.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51819
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Nellie
What do you mean?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51820
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Dwight
Erin made it clear to me that he was unable to perform sexually last night. By contrast, I went to sleep with an erection so large it was like I was wearing no blanket at all. Wow, I knew you'd win, but you just demolished him! I'm a little bit jealous, actually. Reduced him to a mere ant.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51821
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Nellie
I just wanted to take the man's job, not his manhood.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51822
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Nellie
Okay, I would like to invite everyone into the conference room.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51823
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Andy
You can't call a meeting. But I would like to have a meeting in the conference room right now! So let's get in the conference room. Thank you. Good. Thank you for coming to my meeting.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51824
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Nellie
Okay, if you would like to take a seat we can get started.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51825
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Andy
Oh! Can't do it 'cause I gotta run a meeting. So.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51826
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Nellie
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51827
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Andy
Wanted to talk to all of you guys about importance... and know that each and every one of you is vitally important.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51828
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Robert
Andrew, not everyone here is important. And the word is 'impotence.'
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51829
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Nellie
Which is important in its own way. So if you'd just like to take a seat, Andy.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51830
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Nellie
Take a man's job, but leave him his balls.' Margaret Thatcher said that... probably. Don't know. Don't read. Didn't see the movie.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51831
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Nellie
This meeting is not about any one person in particular. It is a human problem.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51832
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Dwight
It's not just a human problem. Flounders frequently experience impotence, especially when converting from male to female and then back again to male.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51833
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Oscar
Nellie, does the person affected by this want us to help her in any way in particular?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51834
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Nellie
Oh, oh, it's not me. No, no. I've never had any problem in that arena. And I have been with several older men.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51835
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Robert & Creed
How old?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51836
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Creed
Jinx. Buy me some Coke.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51837
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Nellie
Dwight told me about it earlier.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51838
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Erin
Dwight!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51839
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All
What?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51840
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Erin
You promised!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51841
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Kevin
Dwight couldn't get it up for Nellie?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51842
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Dwight
No, no, no, no, no, It's not me. I'm gonna prove it right here and now.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51843
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Angela
What are you doing?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51844
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Oscar
What is this?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51845
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Angela
Stop that! Dwight! Stop that, stop it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51846
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Andy
Fine, it was me. I couldn't- I had a problem with Erin last night. Happy?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51847
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Andy
I had a lot on my mind last night. And I didn't perform. Okay? It happens to plenty of guys. It's usually not followed by a giant workplace discussion and an interview.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51848
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Andy
Every guy in this room has been touched by this affliction. Tuna? T-dog?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51849
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Jim
Um...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51850
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Darryl
Uh... I have other issues. I'm terrible at math. Overweight. You- you're in great shape. A lot better shape than I am, tell you what.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51851
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Robert
It seems Andy is the only one with this problem. Fascinating.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51852
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Andy
Fascinating.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51853
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Gabe
I don't really see what the problem is. Erin doesn't even like sex, remember? You said it feels like getting tackled by a skeleton.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51854
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Nellie
Chumbo, come on, help me out. Any problems with Little Chumbo?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51855
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Kevin
Tip-top shape.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51856
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Nellie
Oh... Stanley?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51857
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Stanley
No. Um-um.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51858
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Nellie
Creed, you are a thousand years old.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51859
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Creed
Haven't heard any complaints. Wouldn't care if I did.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51860
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Andy
Okay, so I-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51861
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Pam
Actually Andy, I think maybe we experienced it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51862
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Jim
What happened?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51863
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Pam
That a couple of times-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51864
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Jim
Couple of times.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51865
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Robert
Jim, maybe you could tell us about one of those times.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51866
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Dwight
Yeah Jim.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51867
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Andy
Yeah Jim, get it out there.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51868
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Jim
Um... I don't... Uh, yes, that time that it was very late. Uh, we'd had sex so many times already, I was exhausted...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51869
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Pam
Okay, stop.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51870
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Jim
I was very drunk.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51871
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Phyllis
If it makes you feel any better, I never had an orgasm until I was forty-two. And then when I did, it lasted 'til I was forty-four.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51872
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Phyllis
Forty-three was ju- I got nothing done.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51873
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Gabe
I've read- and I don't know anything about this personally- but they say prostate stimulation can help.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51874
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Angela
Ugh.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51875
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Gabe
This is just, uh- This American Life, I think I heard it on.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51876
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Robert
No, that's absolutely the case.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51877
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Gabe
I know, right?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51878
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Dwight
You know, my rectal electro-ejaculator is rated for bovine use only but I could let you rent it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51879
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Robert
Andy, why don't you tell us about the best erection of your life? Or does anyone else have any remarkable erections they'd like to share?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51880
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Kevin
Ooh, ooh!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51881
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Jim
Wow, what are we talking about?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51882
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Erin
Toby, doesn't HR have some rules against talking about this kind of stuff?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51883
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Toby
Erin, HR is a joke. I can't do anything about anything.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51884