Every line from The Office season 8, episode 21, in script order. First aired April 19, 2012.
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Phyllis
Whoo! Wow, it is raining cats and dogs out there. Holy moley.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51685
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Jim
Phyllis says the same twelve cliches every time it rains. So, I promised everyone that if she says them all by noon today, I will send out for hot chocolates.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51686
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Darryl
So how was the drive in?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51687
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Phyllis
Oh, nobody knows how to drive in the rain.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51688
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Darryl
You don't say?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51689
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Phyllis
Yeah. You know the roads are actually the slickest in the first half hour?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51690
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Phyllis
Oh, the plants are gonna love this.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51691
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Oscar
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51692
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Phyllis
I actually sleep better when it's raining.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51693
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Meredith
Tell me about it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51694
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Oscar
Time's almost up. How many are left?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51695
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Pam
Just one. 'This weather makes me want to stay at home, curled up with a good book.'
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51696
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Darryl
Phyllis. This rain... does it make you wanna be doing something?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51697
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Phyllis
What do you mean?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51698
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Pam
You know, like aren't some things just so nice and cozy in the rain?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51699
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Jim
Hey, come on.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51700
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Phyllis
Lots of things are cozy in the rain.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51701
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Jim
And that's noon. Exactly.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51702
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Phyllis
I mean, normally the rain would make me want to stay home, curled up with a good book. But everybody's being so nice to me today. I'm really happy being here.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51703
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Andy
My girlfriend's back and there's gonna be trouble-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51704
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Andy & Erin
Hey la, hey la...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51705
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Andy
...my girlfriend's back!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51706
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Erin
...his girlfriend's back!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51707
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Andy
Anyway, I know it's the end of the day. We just wanted to stop by and say hi.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51708
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Kevin
Welcome home.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51709
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Erin
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51710
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Andy
Hey, Kev.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51711
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Kevin
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51712
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Andy
Nice sweater.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51713
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Kevin
Thank you. Nellie was nice enough to give it to me. She's sweet. I just wish there was pockets.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51714
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Andy
What happened to old salty?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51715
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Dwight
Nellie let me bobble-ize him. His name is now Captain Mutato.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51716
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Dwight
I've written quite a bit of X-Men fan fiction. Captain Mutato is half man, half mermaid. So he can fight crime as a man and make love as a mermaid. Most of my writing involves the latter.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51717
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Andy
Okey dokey.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51718
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Nellie
Yes?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51719
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Andy
Whoa. Well, you must be the famous Nellie Bertram I've been hearing all about. I am the famous Andy Bernard you've been hearing all about.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51720
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Nellie
Oh yes.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51721
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Andy
I just want to thank you for jumping in and minding the store during my temporary absence.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51722
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Nellie
You are most welcome.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51723
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Andy
Anyway, now that I'm back, I would love to have my office back, whenever you get a chance.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51724
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Nellie
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51725
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Andy
Obviously, we'll figure out the, uh, logistics of moving all this stuff out of here. But, you know, the sooner the better.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51726
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Nellie
Mm-hmm.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51727
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Andy
Get back to normalcy.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51728
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Nellie
Hmm, no.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51729
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Ravi
...and then just lay him in his crib, and then bicycle his legs. And then after Jim quiets down, you do the same thing with your baby. But if he keeps having problems, just give me a call.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51730
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Pam
Oh my gosh, thank you so much. But seriously, we don't want to bother you any more than we already have.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51731
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Jim
That's it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51732
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Kelly
It's no bother, you guys are our friends.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51733
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Pam
Ravi, our amazing pediatrician, was asking us if we knew any girls and I said I know the perfect girl.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51734
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Jim
Yep. Because Kelly is Indian and... oh, that's it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51735
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Pam
Race had nothing to do with it. I just knew they'd be good together.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51736
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Pam
Kelly has been a handful in the past.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51737
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Kelly
Why?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51738
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Pam
But she's had a bad influence. She's like an addict. And I just had to get her clean.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51739
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Kevin
Get lower.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51740
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Ryan
Um, also, little tip, never shake the baby.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51741
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Jim
Sorry, just to be clear, you're saying do NOT shake the baby.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51742
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Ryan
Don't shake the baby. Um, a lot of times, parents get frustrated 'cause the baby's crying and they shake the baby. And you got to, um, you can't do that.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51743
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Pam
Don't shake our baby?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51744
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Ryan
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51745
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Pam
Okay. I'd never heard that before. So, thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51746
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Ryan
Oh, my God.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51747
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Pam
Yeah, I'm glad you said something.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51748
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Ryan
Me too.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51749
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Ryan
Kelly and I broke up and she can do whatever she wants. And her new boyfriend seems awesome, if you're into Indian people. I'm not.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51750
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Ryan
Hey, um, what's the deal with this guy? He's really into Kelly, huh?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51751
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Pam
Yeah, they're really great together.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51752
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Ryan
Maybe we weren't right together, but... it's weird. I'd rather she be alone than with somebody. Is that love?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51753
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Jim
That's about it, yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51754
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Robert
Nellie! You've been terrific in your interim capacity. But, Andrew is the rightful manager so if you would just give him his office-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51755
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Nellie
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51756
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Robert
I'm sorry?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51757
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Andy
This is what I was trying to tell you.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51758
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Robert
I'm not accustomed to people saying no to me.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51759
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Nellie
Well, Bobby, get accustomed to it because then it feels so good when they finally say yes.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51760
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Robert
You're both adults. I'm sure you can figure this out between yourselves.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51761
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Robert
I never allow sexual desire to influence a business decision. So I find it best to excuse myself temporarily until I've had a chance to make love and then go back and analyze the situation rationally. Buffett operates the same way.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51762
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Nellie
I'm gonna count down from five and if you are not out of my office, I'm going to dock your pay one hundred dollars.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51763
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Andy
Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51764
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Nellie
Five... four...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51765
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Andy
You can't dock my pay-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51766
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Nellie
Angela! Dock Andy's pay one hundred dollars.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51767
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Angela
On it!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51768
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Andy
Great. Five, four, three, two, one. Angela, please dock Nellie's pay a hundred dollars. Angela?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51769
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Nellie
Do you want to go again?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51770
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Andy
Angela?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51771
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Nellie
Let's go again. Five... four...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51772
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Andy
Ooh, she's counting again.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51773
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Nellie
Three... two... one...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51774
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Andy
Oh, oh!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51775
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Nellie
Angela, two hundred dollars!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51776
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Angela
You got it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51777
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Andy
Seriously, Angela?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51778
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Andy
I got a little bit of an anger problem. Got me in some trouble a couple years ago.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51779
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Erin
When I see him start to get mad, I just put my hand on his arm like this.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51780
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Nellie
I know what, let's go... ten thousand dollars! Five... four...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51781
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Andy
You're just saying numbers. It's meaningless.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51782
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Nellie
Three...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51783
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Andy
It's literally like-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51784