Every line from The Office season 8, episode 21, in script order. First aired April 19, 2012.
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Nellie
The most important thing to remember is not to stress about this. Stress just makes it worse, and then you stress more. And that's a vicious spiral.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51885
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Robert
I almost didn't come in today.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51886
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Andy
Dad, don't think of it as a demotion. Just think of it as a promotion to a lower level. I don't think you have to tell your friends anything. It hasn't been decided yet.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51887
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Nellie
Erin, on phone memos you're writing the date American style. Month, day, year. I prefer it day, month, year. Small, bigger, biggest. Oh, sexual innuendo. Not intentional.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51888
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Erin
Shut up. Shut up! I am sick of your dumb opinions. And if you don't like the way that I take phone messages, here! Take 'em yourself!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51889
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Andy
Oh, and another thing! Our sex life is none of your businesses!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51890
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Erin
And Andy is the manager, not Nellie!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51891
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Andy
Stop protecting me! I'm a man- I can protect myself! This is misdirected anger and I'm sorry! I don't mean to lash out at you! There's a lot coming up right now, all at once! Dad go to hell, I'm taller than you!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51892
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Nellie
Okay, just calm down.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51893
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Andy
You are not the manager. I earned that job. I was personally chosen after Robert was chosen and quit.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51894
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Robert
Andy, why don't you just take a seat?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51895
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Andy
Why don't you take a seat, you idiot?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51896
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Erin
And why don't you take all your stupid memos and your stupid pens and your dumb caramels?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51897
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Andy
And your stupid face! And your stupid office! Ah!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51898
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Darryl
He does not like that wall.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51899
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Erin
Maybe we'll get sent to anger management together.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51900
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Andy
That would actually be cool. I'd love for you to meet some of the guys.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51901
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Robert
Andy, Erin, you can join us now.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51902
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Ryan
Hey, I hear you been bad-mouthing me to Kelly.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51903
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Pam
All I did was remind her that you used to treat her badly.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51904
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Ryan
Well that's your opinion and it's her opinion, but it's not my opinion. If you have something bad to say to me, Pam, say it to my face.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51905
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Pam
Fair enough. Um... I don't think you're a very good person. And forgive me, but I feel like I've said this to you before: I don't like you very much.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51906
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Ryan
Well a lot of people would say that I'm a better match for Kelly than Ravi is.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51907
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Oscar
Oh come on, Ryan. Really? Ravi's way better.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51908
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Ryan
For Kelly?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51909
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Kevin
Yeah. Man, you're insane right now. Ravi's the whole package.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51910
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Nate
I've never met Ravi personally, but I'm gonna go ahead and say, just having knowing you a short while, Brian, that I prefer Ravi. And again, I've never even met the guy.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51911
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Ryan
Kelly, I wrote you the most amazing love poem. But I can't even read it. My heart couldn't handle it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51912
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Pam
Oh, no, no, no.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51913
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Oscar
Oh, come on.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51914
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Pam
Read it, please. I love amazing poetry.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51915
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Ryan
No. It would cause me too much pain.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51916
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Pam
Read through the pain. Be strong.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51917
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Ryan
This poem would crush you!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51918
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Oscar
Ryan, go away! She found herself a beautiful boyfriend!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51919
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Kevin
Yeah, man, he's absolutely gorgeous! Please leave her alone.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51920
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Ryan
You see, Kelly? Our love scares them. It screws up their cookie-cutter world.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51921
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Kelly
Ravi makes me incredibly happy. And Ryan puts me through so much drama. So I guess I just have to decide which of those is more important to me.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51922
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Robert
Andy, we're going to go with Nellie as manager and put you back on the sales team. I promise you, in time, we'll all laugh about this incident. I already think it's kind of funny.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51923
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Andy
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51924
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Robert
Excuse me?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51925
-
Andy
I'm saying no.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51926
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Robert
Well you can't say no.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51927
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Andy
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51928
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Pam
Oh, boo! Boo! Boo to you! Boo!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51929
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Ryan
You are toxic! You are toxic!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51930
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Pam
Boo!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51931
-
Jim
Hey, hey. Okay.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51932
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Ryan
Kelly, I have a few things to say to you, so please don't interrupt.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51933
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Kelly
I wasn't going to interrupt.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51934
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Ryan
Well you do a lot, so just don't. Thank you. I know that I haven't always treated you the way that you, for whatever reason, feel you deserve to be treated. But I want to marry you, Kelly Kapoor. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, and probably.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51935
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Pam
Barf! Ugh, you suck!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51936
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Ryan
What is your problem? Hey, hey, hey, can we turn this back around quickly, please? This is very important to me.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51937
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Wrangler
Turn around. Turn around. Turn around!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51938
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Ryan
Can we turn this-ing thing around? Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51939
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Wrangler
She don't wanna turn around.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51940
-
Ryan
Thank you. Kelly, I can't promise you that we'll always stay together. I can't promise you that I'll never cheat on you. Nor should I. Modern marriages aren't built that way. Men aren't built that way. There's a very interesting article I can email to you. But I can tell you this. Even if the odds are fifty-fifty that we'll break up within the week, I wanna roll those dice. I love you, Kelly.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51941
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Kelly
Ryan.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51942
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Ryan
Will you roll those dice with me?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51943
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Kelly
You mean so much to me. But, I love Ravi and I choose him.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51944
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Ryan
No you don't.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51945
-
Kelly
I do.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51946
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Ryan
No you don't.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51947
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Kelly
I hope we can still be friends. Can I have a hug?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51948
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Ryan
What?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51949
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Kelly
That was really cool.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51950
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Angela
Ugh. Eww!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51951
-
Jim
Well, it's good to see Kelly's maturing.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51952
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Angela
Oh God!
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51953
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Robert
Look, Andrew, we can discuss the specifics of the job.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51954
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Andy
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51955
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Nellie
It's the apology. I really have to insist.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51956
-
Andy
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51957
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Nellie
Stop saying no.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51958
-
Andy
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51959
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Robert
Andrew, if you say no one more time, you're fired. So... is there anything else you wanna say?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51960
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Andy
No.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51961
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Andy
I can't describe it. I just, for the first time in a long time, I actually feel in control. I feel... alive.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51962
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Erin
Here-
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51963
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Andy
Ah- da, da, da, da. I got it.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51964
-
Erin
But you hurt your hand.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51965
-
Andy
I... Got... It.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51966
-
Erin
Right now?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51967
-
Andy
Yes.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51968
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Pam
You're not the least bit curious to hear a poem straight from Ryan's soul?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51969
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Jim
Not at all, can we go?
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51970
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Pam
Kapoor and ka-desperate, he watches.'
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51971
-
Jim
Second line.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51972
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Pam
He is a drifter out to sea.'
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51973
-
Jim
And when the Indian Ocean calms, one speck of white remains in waters cold and Kelly green.'
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51974
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Pam
It's just so dumb. But when he describes himself as a child, lost on the life raft...
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51975
-
Jim
Uh, Ryan can never know.
Season 8 · Episode 21 · Line 51976