Every line from The Office season 8, episode 16, in script order. First aired February 23, 2012.
-
Pam
Hey Angela, you wanna see a picture of Phillip wearing those little booties you got us?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50255
-
Angela
So cute.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50256
-
Oscar
Hey, you guys want to see a picture of Gerald wearing galoshes? He refused to go out in the rain until I bought these. Now going out in the rain is all he wants to do.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50257
-
Pam
Oscar thinks that having a dog is just like having a baby.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50258
-
Angela
News flash - If you didn't carry it around for nine months, it isn't your kid.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50259
-
Pam
Exactly. Unless you adopted, of course.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50260
-
Angela
That is where we disagree.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50261
-
Oscar
Hey, are your little dudes crawling yet?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50262
-
Pam
No, three-month-old humans don't do that.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50263
-
Angela
My Phillip is crawling.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50264
-
Pam
Angela is such a liar!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50265
-
Oscar
It's maddening!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50266
-
Oscar
Exactly. That's just like crate training. All night long, all night long.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50267
-
Pam
Well count yourself lucky. Wait until you have two. That's two sleep schedules, two naps that don't coincide, I mean, you'll never sleep again.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50268
-
Angela
No one said 'you must have two'
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50269
-
Oscar
Like her genes are so important. The world just needs more Pam/Jim DNA. Thank you, no.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50270
-
Angela
No thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50271
-
Andy
Check this out. My brother just got a new sailboat. He has NO idea what he just got himself into. There's nothing harder than taking care of a boat'am i right?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50272
-
Angela/Pam
Unbelievable!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50273
-
Oscar
Un-be-liev-a-ble.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50274
-
Nellie
It is the end of the day, it is the end of the week. We managed to fill 40 hours somehow. That's not bad, is it?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50275
-
Todd Packer
That's great.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50276
-
Dwight
Pretty good.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50277
-
Nellie
Well thank you. This is very helpful feedback. Dwight, I am still not ready to name a VP.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50278
-
Dwight
That's not what I was going to ask. Gosh, jump to conclusions. Come on, I know, you've got so much on your plate. Right now, you're like 'oh, what's more important? Dwight's question, figure out who's the VP?' Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP. Dwight, VP.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50279
-
Nellie
I can't be hypnotized, Dwight. I tried it, I ended up smoking more.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50280
-
Dwight
Can we at least eliminate those that are not in the running? Free them up to focus more completely on the menial. Like stacking or sorting, or-
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50281
-
Jim
Catching butterflies.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50282
-
Dwight
That's a hobby, unless it's for food.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50283
-
Jim
Theater.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50284
-
Dwight
Waste of time.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50285
-
Jim
Dragging.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50286
-
Dwight
That's just a verb.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50287
-
Jim
Dragging sticks.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50288
-
Dwight
Yes, nice, perfect. Dragging sticks.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50289
-
Nellie
Alright, I'm gonna eliminate three people right now, okay? Just' you three, no.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50290
-
Todd Packer
Not good enough (clicks tongue)
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50291
-
Dwight
English peoples' main use today is judging American talent. You're crap. You're wonderful. They're mean, but they're incisive.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50292
-
Nellie
Everyone meet in the hotel bar at 7:00. I'm not allowed to say it's mandatory, so let's just call it compulsory.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50293
-
Todd Packer
I'll be there at 6:00
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50294
-
Cathy
Ugh, we're gonna have one of those crazy nights, aren't we? Maybe we'll see the real 'Talla-nasty' we've been hearing so much about.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50295
-
Jim
Talla-nasty', very clever.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50296
-
Cathy
Thank you-
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50297
-
Gabe
Wait, wait, you think she invented 'Talla-nasty?' no, no, no, no'
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50298
-
Jim
Cathy? It's been great. Fun, normal. I thought I was gonna be hanging out with stanley on this trip, but he's turned out to be kind of a loose cannon.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50299
-
Stanley
My friend and I are new here in Tallahassee. Would you like to get a cocktail?. Maybe go out for a little dancing. Beautiful day, no?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50300
-
Andy
Okay, everybody. 5:00. Workday is over. Put your pencils down. Aaannnnddd bring 'em back up, because now, the late night work jam begins!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50301
-
Pam
Yes, the conference room is set up. I've got pens, I've got paper, I've got a whiteboard, we are good to go!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50302
-
Andy
Say what?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50303
-
Pam
We are good to goooo!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50304
-
Andy
Say what?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50305
-
Pam
We're good to goooo!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50306
-
Angela
Stop it.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50307
-
Andy
Say-
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50308
-
Angela
Stop it.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50309
-
Oscar
Andy.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50310
-
Andy
Tonight we're staying late to service the accounts of the people who went on the Florida trip.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50311
-
Pam
Yes, of course, we could've just been doing this the whole time, but SOMEONE dropped the ball.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50312
-
Andy
'ball droppings can be beautiful. For example, when it turns an awkward soprano into a rich, full tenor.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50313
-
Todd Packer
Jason Bourne would kick Bond's ass.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50314
-
Nellie
Jason Bourne has no support staff. His own government's out to get him.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50315
-
Dwight
Genghis Khan could take 'em both down 'cause he's not afraid to kill children ' What? it's true. He- He would- he would eviscerate babies and hang them from poles outside of the villages. (Jim taps Dwight on the shoulder)
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50316
-
Todd Packer
Okay, drinking game. Count of three, take three sips.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50317
-
Dwight
That's a stupid game. I got a great drinking game. Okay, everyone empty your pockets. Whoever has the most seeds is the king. Whoever has the least buttons is the hunchback.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50318
-
Gabe
What happens if you're the hunchback?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50319
-
Dwight
Oh, you get kicked.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50320
-
Jim
How many buttons do you have?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50321
-
Dwight
(takes out bag) 40. Always.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50322
-
Cathy
Can I see?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50323
-
Dwight
Sure. (Hands bag to Cathy)
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50324
-
Cathy
So, I get to kick you now.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50325
-
Dwight
No, they're not transferrable just 'cause I handed 'em to you.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50326
-
Cathy
Well, that's how I played it in college.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50327
-
Jim
College rules (Cathy throws Jim the bag and Jim kicks Dwight)
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50328
-
Dwight
Aah!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50329
-
Todd Packer
Aaaaand he host at his own lame game.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50330
-
Nellie
Ooh, double meaning! The game was lame, and now he's lame from the kick. Quick wit.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50331
-
Todd Packer
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50332
-
Ryan
I'll have a glass of your oakiest chardonnay, please.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50333
-
Erin
And I will have waffle with your mapliest syrup.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50334
-
Waitress
Sorry, no waffles.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50335
-
Erin
Oh, okay. Just forget it, then. Forget it. Forget it.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50336
-
Ryan
A waffle?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50337
-
Erin
A hotel waffle. I know what I want to eat. Is that crazy?
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50338
-
Ryan
No.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50339
-
Erin
I'm moving down here, you know.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50340
-
Ryan
Oh, no, I didn't know.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50341
-
Erin
I'm young, and I can ' and if I can't, I'm still pretty young. I guess I'll always be young.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50342
-
Ryan
You come with me. We're gonna get you that waffle.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50343
-
Ryan
Why would Erin confide in me that she's staying here in Florida if she didn't want me to make some last-ditch, nothing to lose, Kelly Ka-who run at her? (Erin walks over) Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50344
-
Erin
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50345
-
Pam
Watson carpet and tile.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50346
-
Kevin
One order.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50347
-
Oscar
Order reference number 00983-126.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50348
-
Phyllis
Eight Cases, bright white inkjet.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50349
-
Angela
Paid.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50350
-
Kelly
I'm dying!
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50351
-
Darryl
Processed.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50352
-
Val
And delivered.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50353
-
Kelly
Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sorta feel out what the situation calls for.
Season 8 · Episode 16 · Line 50354