Every quote from The Office season 8, episode 14, in script order. First aired February 9, 2012.
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Pam
I think you need to go to Florida.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49920
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Jim
I think you're right.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49921
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Pam
It's only for three weeks, you know with my mom and sister at the house it'll be..
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49922
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Jim
Total nightmare.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49923
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Pam
I was going to say good because I'll have all the help I need?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49924
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Jim
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. They're incredibly helpful, you're lucky to have them. I mean with them there, you probably won't even know I'm gone.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49925
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Pam
Exactly.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49926
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Dwight
Well, No! No! Absolutely not! You are not going. Over my dead body, no. Andy?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49927
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Andy
Tuns, I'm really sorry. You're too essential to the operation here, I can't let you go.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49928
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Dwight
I wouldn't say that...it's a bit much.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49929
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Jim
You know Dwight, if you didn't want me to go the smart move would be to tell Andy that I actually am essential to the operation. That way I couldn't go.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49930
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Dwight
Jim is essential to th-
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49931
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Jim
Hold on, just wanna get it on camera.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49932
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Dwight
Andy, Jim is just too...essen-...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49933
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Jim
Essential.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49934
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Dwight
This is stupid! Cut.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49935
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Jim
Alright, I'm gonna pack my trunks.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49936
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Dwight
He doesn't even want to go.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49937
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Jim
Well, I got a text from RC inviting me to come down so I think that's gonna make us roomates.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49938
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Dwight
Oh my god.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49939
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Jim
Hey, quick question: Do you shower at night or in the morning? Cause I wanna shower when you're showering. Save some water.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49940
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Andy
OK, listen up everyone, here's who's going to Florida: Kathy..
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49941
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Dwight
What?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49942
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Andy
'.Stanley..
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49943
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Dwight
No.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49944
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Andy
...Ryan...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49945
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Dwight
No!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49946
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Andy
...Erin...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49947
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Dwight
(Bleep)
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49948
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Andy
...And, Jim.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49949
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Dwight
You've gotta be (bleep)-ing kidding me. Ok. Ok, Florida group, welcome to the team. AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49950
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Dwight
Let's go, step it up you runts. You infants, let's move.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49951
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Stanley
Why is it so hot in here?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49952
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Dwight
Hot? What are you talking about? This is a nice temperate Florida morning. Eighty-five degrees, seventy-five percent humidity. This is the exact environment you will be facing for the next three weeks of your life. Welcome to special projects orientation. The next three weeks of your life are gonna be the most miserable you've ever faced. They're gonna be hard, they're gonna be dirty. You're gonna wish you were dead.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49953
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Ryan
But...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49954
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Dwight
But? There's not buts. That's it. You'll wish you were dead. You seem a little disturbed, you wanna stay here?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49955
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Ryan
No no, I want to go.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49956
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Dwight
Cause if any of you would prefer to stay here, all you need to do is ring this bell.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49957
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Jim
Is that the buzzer from Taboo?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49958
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Dwight
SHUT UP MAGGOT! YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, RING THE BELL! RING IT! Ring it.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49959
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Dwight
How many of you have seen the documentary Deliverance?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49960
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Stanley
How did a mosquito get in here?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49961
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Dwight
I released three hundred mosquitoes in the conference room, just temporarily. When I'm done, the frogs will take care of the mosquitoes.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49962
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Dwight
Yes, when he brushes your soft supple cheeks with his worn leathery hands and says 'I'm gonna make you the seventh Mrs. Rosenblatt' unless you ring this bell. Ring it! Ring the bell. You wanna spend the rest of your life changing your husband's colostomy bags? Huh? Do you? Ring it! Wha-, oh. What was that?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49963
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Jim
Mosquito.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49964
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Dwight
Orientation is over.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49965
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Nate
Oh Darryl, hey.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49966
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Darryl
Hey what's up? You called?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49967
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Nate
Yeah, you know I, I felt really terrible that you got me these lovely gloves and I didn't get you anything...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49968
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Darryl
It's cool really.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49969
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Nate
No, it's anything but cool. Now I haven't really had time to go out and buy you anything, but uh, here goes.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49970
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Darryl
'This coupon entitles you to one free tickle monster attack'
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49971
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Nate
Yeah, they're Nate coupons. Or Nate-pons. And they're all different. Cash that one in and I will bring you a stick of gum, anytime, any place. I'll find you.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49972
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Darryl
Thanks. Nice flowers.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49973
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Val
Thanks, they're from my mom.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49974
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Darryl
Your mom?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49975
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Val
Yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49976
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Darryl
Uh. So I guess that was your mom who called me earlier looking for the address? Real deep voiced woman?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49977
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Val
Yeah, that's her.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49978
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Darryl
She said her name was Brandon, I think. Your mom's name is Brandon?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49979
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Val
Yeah Darryl, my mom's name is Brandon.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49980
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Darryl
Then I guess I figured out where I stand. This is a love beanie.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49981
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Dwight
Ok, Florida team, let's reconvene.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49982
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Erin
I'm going to Florida.....and I'm not coming back.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49983
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Dwight
So Sabre has set up a conference room for our use while we're at corporate.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49984
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Jim
So, what is this special project?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49985
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Dwight
Basically Sabre has tasked us with helping them branch into the retail marketplace. They want to set up their own version of an Apple store.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49986
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Jim
That sounds awesome.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49987
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Dwight
It did, it did.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49988
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Ryan
You know what might be great? Is if instead of a genius bar we have a lounge area where people can ask questions about the product with other customers who liked it.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49989
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Erin
Yeah. And they should have a place where people can check their computers or printers before they see you so you don't have to carry it around like a dope. Like a coat check. Oh, don't write it down unless you like it.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49990
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Dwight
Oh, I like it.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49991
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Ryan
It seems to me that the Apple store is kind of like a party. So I think our question is: How do we make this a better party?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49992
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Dwight
No. We sell business tools and the stores need to reflect that. They need to be all business. Let all the other stores look like a toy store.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49993
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Ryan
Right. Think different, from Apple.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49994
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Jim
Dwight, is now a good time to go over what you expect of us?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49995
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Dwight
Yes. What are my expectations for the group?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49996
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Dwight
I have been given the responsibility to manage Stanley, a solid player, Ryan, who is capable of surprises, Erin, an excellent follower and Kathy, a probably not totally useless enigma. And, well, Jim. Under the right manager, that's not a bad team. Perfectinschlag.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49997
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Kelly
I don't know how I'm going to live here without you.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49998
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Ryan
Me neither. Hey, will you put this coat on my chair? I just realized I'm not going to need it down there.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 49999
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Kelly
Yes, I will take your coat. And I will keep it with me, and I will sleep with it because it smells like you.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50000
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Ryan
No, no, no, no. Just put it on my chair.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50001
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Pam
Alright
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50002
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Jim
Bye.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50003
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Pam
Bye. Call me when you land.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50004
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Jim
I will.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50005
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Andy
Safe travels.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50006
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Erin
Goodbye for a very very long time.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50007
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Andy
Oh, K. It's only three weeks.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50008
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Kathy
All expenses paid. Yeah, Jim's gonna be there. Their marriage is not good. Nobody knows better than me. Definitely we will. It's three weeks in Tallahassee, what else is there to do?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Quote 50009