Every line from The Office season 8, episode 14, in script order. First aired February 9, 2012.
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Pam
I like it so far.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49820
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Jim
'Got your text, awesome idea. Let's hit the links next time you're in PA' Dash JH.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49821
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Pam
It's perfect. You emphasized the golf, completely omit the Florida.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49822
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Jim
Yeah, it's a golf text.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49823
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Pam
Total golf text. Send it.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49824
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Jim
Duh- Wait. I just feel weird. I should just call him.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49825
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Kelly
You wanna call someone? That texted you!? Do you wanna drive them away? I mean, ugh.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49826
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Darryl
This is Darryl.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49827
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Bob
Oh, sorry I asked for the main shipping number. I just need the address for the warehouse? I want to send my girlfriend some flowers.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49828
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Darryl
Your girlfriend? Is your girlfriend Val?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49829
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Bob
Yeah, do you know her?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49830
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Darryl
We're friends. We're friends.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49831
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Bob
Cool. Um, so can I get that address or...?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49832
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Darryl
Yeah sorry, I'm just looking for a pen.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49833
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Bob
Why do you need a pen?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49834
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Darryl
Back off! I got my reasons.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49835
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Dwight
May I have your attention please? Could Kathy, Darryl, Phyllis, Kevin and Kelly please join me in the conference room immediately?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49836
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Kelly
Why?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49837
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Dwight
Oh, no big deal. It's just that you five have been deemed most deserving of a three week all expenses paid business trip to Tallahassee, Florida.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49838
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Kelly
Hell yeah.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49839
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Stanley
What?!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49840
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Dwight
Oh, I'm sorry Stanley, I can't share any more details with you. You see, Andy rejected you.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49841
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Meredith
Wait. Kathy gets to go? Uh, why does she even still work here? Pam is back.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49842
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Oscar
It just feels like a slap in the face.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49843
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Dwight
I can understand your pain and your rage, but you know what? Andy is an honorable man, let us not question his choices. I'm sure he had his reasons.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49844
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Oscar
We're not questioning his reasons. I just wanna know what they are.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49845
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Dwight
I know, you and me both, brother. It seemed kinda random to me, but he was pretty clear on who he thought truly deserved this boondoggle of a lifetime.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49846
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Kevin
Well, he nailed it because I do deserve a vacation. Sometimes Batman's gotta take off his cape.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49847
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Dwight
Good point. But we're gonna be working pretty hard until five PM. After that it's gonna be beach volleyball, trips to Cape Canaveral, and sea kayaking with Gloria Estefan.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49848
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Ryan
What are the criteria for going?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49849
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Dwight
It might be innate goodness versus innate badness? But there's an easy way to find out. Oh Andy, gotta few questions for you.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49850
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Andy
Mooshie mooshie.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49851
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Dwight
Uh, the Florida picks got out, and people were just kind of curious as to why they weren't picked and maybe you could just clarify?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49852
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Andy
Well uh...well the deliberations were confidential so...I feel like we should respect that.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49853
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Stanley
Respect it? You're trying to tell me Kevin Malone deserves more than Stanley Hudson.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49854
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Kevin
Hey!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49855
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Angela
Ok, it's obvious Andy picked the people that are least important to the office.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49856
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Kelly
Important? Oh because you and your enormous monster baby are so important to the branch.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49857
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Angela
My baby is not a monster!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49858
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Dwight
Hey. Be proud of your enormous monster baby. I was once an enormous monster baby.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49859
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Andy
Guys. Guys. Guys. Come on, seriously? We cannot let this trip cause this kind of rift, guys!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49860
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Ryan
Stop calling us 'guys'.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49861
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Andy
I use the word 'guys' a lot when I'm nervous...guys.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49862
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Andy
Guys! Guys! Guys!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49863
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Group
Stop it!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49864
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Andy
Guys..
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49865
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Ryan
Stop. Stop it Andy.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49866
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Oscar
...Andy.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49867
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Andy
Dudes...the dudes who are going to Florida were picked by Dwight and me.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49868
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Dwight
OK hey. I specifically remember there were a lot of other people I thought should be considered.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49869
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Andy
Wha-
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49870
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Stanley
If anybody's going to Florida, it should be me. Every shirt I have that isn't a work shirt is a Tommy Bahama. I'm the only person in this office who watches Burn Notice.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49871
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Andy
OK, I did not realize that so many of you wanted to go so badly, so if you feel like you have a very good reason to go to Florida, I'm happy to hear you out.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49872
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Dwight
Great idea! So why doesn't everyone just take the next five to six hours, come up with a statement on why you feel you deserve to go to Florida and Andy and I will listen to it.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49873
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Andy
No. That is a ridiculous waste of time.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49874
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Kelly
For you maybe.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49875
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Andy
Five to six hours?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49876
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Dwight
Three to four hours.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49877
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Andy
No no no no.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49878
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Dwight
Two to three hours...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49879
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Andy
Nope.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49880
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Dwight
Come up with a statement in the next hour....
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49881
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Andy
Thirty minutes!
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49882
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Creed
I'm out.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49883
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Pam
Ok, read it back to me.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49884
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Jim
Robert, great offer. Wish I could hit the links with you in Florida but a father of a newborn really should be helping out his wife any chance he gets.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49885
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Pam
Good. Doesn't sound pushy...you're just stating a fact.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49886
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Erin
Absolutely. Works for me.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49887
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Jim
Ok, sending.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49888
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Pam
Well done. And we managed to kill the entire morning.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49889
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Jim
Really did He responded L-O-L.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49890
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Erin
[laughs exaggeratedly]
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49891
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Phyllis
I have a new swimsuit I need to break in....
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49892
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Meredith
I am...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49893
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Dwight
I have already picked my team: Darryl, Oscar, Angela, Phyllis and Toby and that is the team that I am taking. What's that? It's not up to me? I only have influence? Well, that's all Baltzer Gladfielder had and no one eats owls for Thanksgiving.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49894
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Ryan
You have two young dynamic people in this office who know trends, who know youth. That's myself and Kelly Kapoor, you need one of us there.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49895
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Andy
Or both?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49896
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Ryan
Not both. Just one, me. Or if not me, Kelly. Ideally me. Again, youth knowledge. That's what you get when you put Ryan Howard on your special project team...or Kelly Kapoor. Again, not both. Thanks.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49897
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Andy
Very impressive. He put a lot of work into that.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49898
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Dwight
Mm-hm. Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world. All show, no meat.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49899
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Kevin
Because I feel like that I'm in a place with my gambling rehab that I can finally start going to dog racing again. You know, just sitting, watching, enjoying the sport? Maybe putting down a few dollars if there's like a crazy mismatch or something...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49900
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Dwight
Ok. Thank you Kevin, we'll let you know.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49901
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Andy
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49902
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Kevin
When do we leave?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49903
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Andy
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49904
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Toby
It has been a long, lonely winter.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49905
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Dwight
Wow. Seasonal effective disorder, AKA: sad. That sounds like a very real thing, Toby.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49906
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Toby
It is real, thank you for saying that.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49907
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Andy
Yeah, wow. It's almost like we're not all experiencing the same winter?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49908
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Stanley
Florida Stanley smiles. Florida Stanley is happy to go to work. Florida Stanley is who you want on your Florida team.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49909
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Dwight
Maybe it's what she does here...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49910
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Andy
Well...
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49911
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Erin
Hey guys, any spots left?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49912
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Andy
Erin, you wanna go to Tallahassee?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49913
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Erin
I do. I really do. I think it would be a nice way to clear my head.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49914
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Dwight
You know I don't think it's a good idea for you to clear your head any more than it has been already. I think you need a workplace where the burdens of everyday life keep you tethered to reality.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49915
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Erin
Either or. But if you can find someone to fill in, I would love to go.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49916
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Andy
Well it wouldn't be hard to find someone to fill in..
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49917
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Erin
Really? Oh, great. Good, ahem, good.
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49918
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Jim
Now, is it too dark to say that Cici's having an operation?
Season 8 · Episode 14 · Line 49919