Every line from The Office season 8, episode 10, in script order. First aired December 8, 2011.
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Robert
Now why would you come to a bar and ask for a cola when you can get some from the kitchen? Did some small part of you want something a little stronger? Ryan, Kevin, Phyllis, Oscar, come and take these shots!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48511
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Ryan
Yes!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48512
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Oscar
Yes!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48513
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Ryan
Will do.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48514
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Robert
The fifth one is for you, Erin. You could take it or leave it. To take it would be to accept that you're at a party and you're an adult woman, with an adventurous spirit. To leave it would be fine too.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48515
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Phyllis
One, two three!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48516
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Kevin
Yes.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48517
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Erin
OK.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48518
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Robert
Mmm. Wow.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48519
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Erin
Whoo! Jiminy Christmas!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48520
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Robert
Jiminey Christmas indeed.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48521
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Erin
Hit 'er up.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48522
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Robert
Oh.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48523
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Kevin
Oh yes.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48524
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Ryan
Whoo!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48525
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Erin
Yeah!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48526
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Oscar
Wow.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48527
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Jim
Uh, yeah. I just got my replacement credit card...you want the number? Oh it's uh four seven nine three, zero zero three two, three three one three. The security code is nine two seven. OK great. Thank you very much. Bye.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48528
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Jim
So Dwight did take the bait. He used my credit card numbers to send a two hundred dollar bouquet of flowers, to my wife...from me.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48529
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Dwight
Boom!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48530
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Ryan
But look, it's Christmas, so you're allowed...whoa, hello. Um, you're allowed to do...
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48531
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Kevin
Good cookie.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48532
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Darryl
I meant dressed up compared to normal. You usually dress like a ghost-buster.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48533
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Val
OK.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48534
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Darryl
I thought you'd wear a sweater.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48535
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Val
Since when does a sweater mean 'dressed up'? Am I your grandson?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48536
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Darryl
Come on, stay, alright? It's good for people to get to know you.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48537
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Val
As a contestant on Dancing with the Stars, maybe.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48538
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Erin
I want.. my sugar free cookie, and then I want a sugar cookie. and then I want my nap!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48539
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Stanley
That's right.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48540
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Erin
Whoo! Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48541
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Robert
She, she is remarkable.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48542
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Andy
Edgy impressions.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48543
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Erin
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48544
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Andy
How many drinks have you had tonight? I can't be driving everybody home.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48545
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Erin
A thousand.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48546
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Andy
Whoa! Maybe you should take a break.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48547
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Erin
Maybe you should mind your own business. Just kidding!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48548
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Dwight
Ah! I've been attacked! Oh my god! Oh! Someone put a porcupine in my drawer!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48549
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Toby
Oh my god.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48550
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Dwight
Yeah, I was just sitting here at my desk and I, I reached into my drawer to grab my toothbrush and some tooth powder and, and all of a sudden I was attacked by this blood thirsty rabid creature!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48551
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Jim
I wonder, in this office, who has access to a porcupine?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48552
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Dwight
Or who in this office knows that I have access and is trying to set me up?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48553
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Jim
Hmm...
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48554
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Toby
You know this sounds a lot like the premise of my latest Chad Flendermen novel. A murder for framing.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48555
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Toby
Chad Flendermen. Just an easy going black guy, he knows the streets, yet he also went to Oxford. So. Just as comfortable on a motorcycle as he is on Air Force One. Oh and he's also the world's leading Egyptologist.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48556
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Angela
Toby! Nobody cares about your sex-crazed black detective.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48557
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Toby
No, no, no, no, no. Women chase him. He misses his wife.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48558
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Dwight
Hello? Lacerated hand here folks.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48559
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Jim
Nice try, this is ridiculous.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48560
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Dwight
Oh is it really? Two separate times you have set me up to believe I was being recruited by the CIA.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48561
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Jim
Three times.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48562
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Dwight
You see?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48563
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Andy
Jim, this has your fingerprints all over it.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48564
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Jim
Andy, you've gotta be kidding me.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48565
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Toby
Fingerprints can be planted. You know with a severed hand...
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48566
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Kelly
Do you think that's what happened? Do you think he used a severed hand?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48567
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Jim
OK, you know what? Why don't we just call animal control...
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48568
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Dwight
Might wanna run that by Angela cause it's so cute.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48569
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Angela
No. Porcupines don't have souls. They're like dogs.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48570
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Jim
Yes, I'm calling from Dunder Mifflin. We have a very rabid porcupine in our office, someone should come pick it up.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48571
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Dwight
Come down right away!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48572
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Jim
[on phone]Uh, I don't know, let me ask. Uh, were you quilled?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48573
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Dwight
Yes, I was quilled.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48574
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Jim
And what's it's name?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48575
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Dwight
Henrietta.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48576
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Jim
Oops.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48577
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Andy
What? ...Alright, get her out of here, Dwight.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48578
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Erin
Hey, guys. I just wanted to say. Come here! I'm so happy you guys are together. OK? And you both have such beautiful hair.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48579
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Jessica
Thank you.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48580
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Erin
I hope you guys get married....and who knows? Maybe at the wedding, I meet someone.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48581
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Andy
OK!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48582
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Erin
And later on tonight, I hope I see you guys kiss. Ah! OK, well I'm gonna go do another reverse spit. That's how the cool kids say 'get a drink'.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48583
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Jessica
That's uh, that's the girl you dated.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48584
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Andy
Um, yeah, she's not always like that. It's um...
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48585
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Jessica
No, she, she seems fine.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48586
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Andy
Yeah, uh, excuse me.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48587
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Jessica
OK.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48588
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Andy
Yep. Hey!
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48589
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Erin
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48590
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Andy
Have you had anything to eat besides candy canes?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48591
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Erin
Every martini has an olive.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48592
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Andy
OK...maybe I should make you some oatmeal or something.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48593
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Kevin
I don't wanna put you out, but if someone's making oatmeal, I'll take a apple cinnamon and a maple brown sugar in one bowl with whole milk.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48594
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Erin
Hey, I never told you my Christmas wish.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48595
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Andy
Ah, OK.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48596
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Erin
It's about you.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48597
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Andy
That's not what it should be, it should just be like a trinket or something.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48598
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Erin
It's that I wish Jessica was dead.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48599
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Andy
You you, wait. You mean you wish she wasn't here or something.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48600
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Erin
I wish she was in a graveyard! Under the ground...with worms coming out of her mouth.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48601
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Andy
Hey, you know, you can't say that, OK? That's my girlfriend that you're talking about. You and I are not together anymore. You need to get over it! Take your wish back.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48602
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Erin
Too late! It's already been wished! And you promised it would come true. You wrote it in an email! So, which one are you? A murderer or a liar?
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48603
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Kevin
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48604
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Erin
Hey.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48605
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Kevin
So, there was talk of oatmeal.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48606
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Phyllis
You know, don't listen to what anyone is saying. You look like a, a princess.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48607
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Val
Yeah. Thanks.
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48608
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Andy
I swear...
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48609
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Jessica
Did you not...
Season 8 · Episode 10 · Line 48610