Every line from The Office season 7, episode 9, in script order. First aired November 18, 2010.
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Dwight
Uh-Oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen Up, listen up. Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We've got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40710
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Michael
My Bad. Space Heater and Fan were both on high, plugged into the same outlet.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40711
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Jim
Uh, it's saying the server went down? Does Anybody know that password? 'Cause otherwise we can't do any work.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40712
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Michael
Uh... try 'password'.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40713
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Jim
Nope.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40714
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Dwight
Try zero, Zero, Zero, Zero, zero, zero.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40715
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Jim
No.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40716
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Dwight
Okay, now try Zero, Zero, Zero, Zero, zero, one.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40717
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Jim
Okay, I'm not doing every number.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40718
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Pam
Wait, um, does anyone remember when it was set up?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40719
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Michael
Uh... it was like eight years ago?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40720
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Pam
Lord of the Ring stuff? I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things that were happening at the time.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40721
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Erin
Um, everyone was getting their driver's license.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40722
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Jim
Why don't we just call the I.T. Guy who set it up? What's the name of the guy in Glasses, again?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40723
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Michael
Okay, moving backwards, our I.T. Guys have been... Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso. I think Lozenge was the one who installed it.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40724
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Andy
I got it, try, um--[Coughs]
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40725
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Michael
You know what? It made me laugh when I heard it, but Pam got really offended.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40726
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Kevin
Big Boobs.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40727
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Meredith
Drama Queen?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40728
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Angela
Nosy?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40729
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Pam
You're typing 'Big Boobs'?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40730
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Jim
I'm trying everything.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40731
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Dwight
Try 'Big Boobs' with a 'Z'.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40732
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Jim
That's-- the password. We're in.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40733
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Dwight
All Right
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40734
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Kevin
Wow.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40735
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Dwight
Yes.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40736
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Michael
The important thing is... this kept us secure people.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40737
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Michael
Morning.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40738
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Ryan
How's It Going?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40739
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Ryan
Hey, I'm WUPHF.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40740
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Michael
I'm Facebook.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40741
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Ryan
What's up Facebook?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40742
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Michael
I sent you a Facebook message yesterday, I still haven't heard anything back.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40743
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Ryan
You should've sent me a WUPHF.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40744
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Michael
A what?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40745
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Ryan
When you send a WUPHF, it goes to your home phone, Email, Facebook, Twitter and homescreen. All at the same time.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40746
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Robotic Voice
WUPHF.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40747
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Ryan and Michael
WUPHF!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40748
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Michael
Dot com!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40749
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Ryan
Thanks Erin.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40750
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Erin
Sure.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40751
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Erin
Pam.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40752
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Pam
Mm-Hmm?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40753
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Erin
I don't wanna be a lousy snitch.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40754
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Pam
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40755
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Erin
Ryan has been using the color printer for his business a lot, and as Office Administrator--
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40756
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Pam
Oh, it's okay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40757
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Erin
But it's not for--
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40758
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Pam
Let it go.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40759
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Pam
Yes, I invested in WUPHF. It's actually a great idea and I can't believe it didn't exist before. And I know Ryan's kind of a sketchy guy, but hey, I married Jim. I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40760
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Michael
I think an investor's ski trip is the best idea. It will be a bonding experience.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40761
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Ryan
I love it.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40762
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Michael
I was looking at a trail map, and I was thinking that we should start on a bunny hill, because I've never actually been skiing. And then work our way up to death drop.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40763
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Ryan
Great, so we got our first offer to buy the company.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40764
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Michael
Your kidding?!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40765
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Ryan
We could sell, but why think so small? We can just get a couple more people involved, really do this thing our way.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40766
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Michael
You and me.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40767
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Ryan
New Investors are key, though. That's actually why I came in today.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40768
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Michael
Don't you work here full-time?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40769
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Ryan
Today, I was thinking I would sit down with a few of the people who haven't invested yet.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40770
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Michael
Mm-Hmm.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40771
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Ryan
Or we could do that together, if that sounds fun to you.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40772
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Michael
That does sound fun to me.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40773
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Ryan
Awesome.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40774
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Dwight
Ah, this is good hay. Yeah. This is the good stuff, mattress quality.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40775
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Dwight
Every fall, my Uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales for us kids to play in. We called it 'Hay Place'. Eldred Called it 'Hay World'. Eventually lawyers were brought in. But that's all behind us. Hay Place lives on! Watch it, watch it.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40776
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Dwight
Hello! Welcome to Hay Place! A place for hay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40777
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Guy
Don't forget to make a broom.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40778
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Dwight
Oh, and the Petting Zoo closes at 2:00, and the Goat Roast is at 3:00. Come on in, enjoy!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40779
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Angela
Hey, I'm kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40780
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Dwight
Roll in the hay, five dollars.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40781
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Angela
No, I meant...
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40782
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Dwight
Oh, our contract.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40783
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Angela
Mm-Hmm.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40784
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Dwight
Yes, why don't we meet at the usual spot. Uh... I've got a half an hour during lunch in-between the historical reenactment of the dunmore farm slaughters and the onion boil.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40785
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Angela
Perfect!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40786
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Dwight
So, uh... Excuse me, get off of there! Those are show bales, not play bales.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40787
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Jim
All right, Thank you, I will--I will send the contracts over right away. All Right. Whoo!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40788
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Jim
I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest--if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40789
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Kevin
Commission comes out to... dunh-duh-na-dah! Zero.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40790
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Jim
Mm-Kay, Well, it can't be zero, Kev.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40791
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Kevin
I entered the sale, and I hit enter, and I said, 'dunh-duh-na-dah!' I'm pretty sure I timesed it right.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40792
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Angela
You met your commission cap last week. So from here until the end of the fiscal year, your commission will be zero.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40793
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Jim
What are you talking about? We--we have a commission cap?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40794
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Angela
It's a new corporate policy.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40795
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Kevin
Dunh-duh-na-dah!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40796
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Gabe
Is this job really about the money for you, Jim? I mean, isn't this where you fell in love?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40797
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Jim
A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell. So you realize I now have no reason to work, right?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40798
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Gabe
When you're dealing with a large organization, sometimes you have to put up with policies you don't like. I wish my gym didn't allow full nudity in the locker room. Okay, seeing these old guys walking around naked feels almost passive-aggressive. But I deal with it. 'Cause it's policy. See what I mean?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40799
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Jim
Nope.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40800
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Gabe
Nudity makes me uncomfortable.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40801
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Jim
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40802
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Gabe
My gym allows it. I wish they didn't, but it's policy. So I respect it, and I just--keep a low--you know, I look away. Think about your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40803
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Michael
Excuse me, everyone... SEX! Now that I have your attention...
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40804
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Stanley
You don't have our attention.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40805
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Michael
MONEY!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40806
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Stanley
I'm listening.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40807
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Kevin
You had me at 'Sex.'
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40808
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Michael
Pervert.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Line 40809