Every quote from The Office season 7, episode 9, in script order. First aired November 18, 2010.
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Dwight
Uh-Oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen Up, listen up. Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We've got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40710
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Michael
My Bad. Space Heater and Fan were both on high, plugged into the same outlet.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40711
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Jim
Uh, it's saying the server went down? Does Anybody know that password? 'Cause otherwise we can't do any work.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40712
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Michael
Uh... try 'password'.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40713
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Jim
Nope.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40714
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Dwight
Try zero, Zero, Zero, Zero, zero, zero.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40715
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Jim
No.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40716
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Dwight
Okay, now try Zero, Zero, Zero, Zero, zero, one.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40717
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Jim
Okay, I'm not doing every number.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40718
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Pam
Wait, um, does anyone remember when it was set up?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40719
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Michael
Uh... it was like eight years ago?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40720
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Pam
Lord of the Ring stuff? I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things that were happening at the time.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40721
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Erin
Um, everyone was getting their driver's license.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40722
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Jim
Why don't we just call the I.T. Guy who set it up? What's the name of the guy in Glasses, again?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40723
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Michael
Okay, moving backwards, our I.T. Guys have been... Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso. I think Lozenge was the one who installed it.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40724
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Andy
I got it, try, um--[Coughs]
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40725
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Michael
You know what? It made me laugh when I heard it, but Pam got really offended.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40726
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Kevin
Big Boobs.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40727
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Meredith
Drama Queen?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40728
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Angela
Nosy?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40729
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Pam
You're typing 'Big Boobs'?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40730
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Jim
I'm trying everything.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40731
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Dwight
Try 'Big Boobs' with a 'Z'.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40732
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Jim
That's-- the password. We're in.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40733
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Dwight
All Right
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40734
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Kevin
Wow.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40735
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Dwight
Yes.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40736
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Michael
The important thing is... this kept us secure people.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40737
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Michael
Morning.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40738
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Ryan
How's It Going?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40739
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Ryan
Hey, I'm WUPHF.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40740
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Michael
I'm Facebook.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40741
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Ryan
What's up Facebook?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40742
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Michael
I sent you a Facebook message yesterday, I still haven't heard anything back.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40743
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Ryan
You should've sent me a WUPHF.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40744
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Michael
A what?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40745
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Ryan
When you send a WUPHF, it goes to your home phone, Email, Facebook, Twitter and homescreen. All at the same time.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40746
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Robotic Voice
WUPHF.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40747
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Ryan and Michael
WUPHF!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40748
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Michael
Dot com!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40749
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Ryan
Thanks Erin.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40750
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Erin
Sure.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40751
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Erin
Pam.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40752
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Pam
Mm-Hmm?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40753
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Erin
I don't wanna be a lousy snitch.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40754
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Pam
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40755
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Erin
Ryan has been using the color printer for his business a lot, and as Office Administrator--
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40756
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Pam
Oh, it's okay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40757
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Erin
But it's not for--
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40758
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Pam
Let it go.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40759
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Pam
Yes, I invested in WUPHF. It's actually a great idea and I can't believe it didn't exist before. And I know Ryan's kind of a sketchy guy, but hey, I married Jim. I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40760
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Michael
I think an investor's ski trip is the best idea. It will be a bonding experience.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40761
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Ryan
I love it.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40762
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Michael
I was looking at a trail map, and I was thinking that we should start on a bunny hill, because I've never actually been skiing. And then work our way up to death drop.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40763
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Ryan
Great, so we got our first offer to buy the company.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40764
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Michael
Your kidding?!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40765
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Ryan
We could sell, but why think so small? We can just get a couple more people involved, really do this thing our way.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40766
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Michael
You and me.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40767
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Ryan
New Investors are key, though. That's actually why I came in today.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40768
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Michael
Don't you work here full-time?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40769
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Ryan
Today, I was thinking I would sit down with a few of the people who haven't invested yet.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40770
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Michael
Mm-Hmm.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40771
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Ryan
Or we could do that together, if that sounds fun to you.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40772
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Michael
That does sound fun to me.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40773
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Ryan
Awesome.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40774
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Dwight
Ah, this is good hay. Yeah. This is the good stuff, mattress quality.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40775
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Dwight
Every fall, my Uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales for us kids to play in. We called it 'Hay Place'. Eldred Called it 'Hay World'. Eventually lawyers were brought in. But that's all behind us. Hay Place lives on! Watch it, watch it.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40776
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Dwight
Hello! Welcome to Hay Place! A place for hay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40777
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Guy
Don't forget to make a broom.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40778
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Dwight
Oh, and the Petting Zoo closes at 2:00, and the Goat Roast is at 3:00. Come on in, enjoy!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40779
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Angela
Hey, I'm kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40780
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Dwight
Roll in the hay, five dollars.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40781
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Angela
No, I meant...
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40782
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Dwight
Oh, our contract.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40783
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Angela
Mm-Hmm.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40784
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Dwight
Yes, why don't we meet at the usual spot. Uh... I've got a half an hour during lunch in-between the historical reenactment of the dunmore farm slaughters and the onion boil.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40785
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Angela
Perfect!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40786
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Dwight
So, uh... Excuse me, get off of there! Those are show bales, not play bales.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40787
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Jim
All right, Thank you, I will--I will send the contracts over right away. All Right. Whoo!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40788
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Jim
I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest--if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40789
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Kevin
Commission comes out to... dunh-duh-na-dah! Zero.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40790
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Jim
Mm-Kay, Well, it can't be zero, Kev.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40791
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Kevin
I entered the sale, and I hit enter, and I said, 'dunh-duh-na-dah!' I'm pretty sure I timesed it right.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40792
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Angela
You met your commission cap last week. So from here until the end of the fiscal year, your commission will be zero.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40793
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Jim
What are you talking about? We--we have a commission cap?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40794
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Angela
It's a new corporate policy.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40795
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Kevin
Dunh-duh-na-dah!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40796
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Gabe
Is this job really about the money for you, Jim? I mean, isn't this where you fell in love?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40797
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Jim
A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell. So you realize I now have no reason to work, right?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40798
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Gabe
When you're dealing with a large organization, sometimes you have to put up with policies you don't like. I wish my gym didn't allow full nudity in the locker room. Okay, seeing these old guys walking around naked feels almost passive-aggressive. But I deal with it. 'Cause it's policy. See what I mean?
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40799
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Jim
Nope.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40800
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Gabe
Nudity makes me uncomfortable.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40801
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Jim
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40802
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Gabe
My gym allows it. I wish they didn't, but it's policy. So I respect it, and I just--keep a low--you know, I look away. Think about your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40803
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Michael
Excuse me, everyone... SEX! Now that I have your attention...
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40804
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Stanley
You don't have our attention.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40805
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Michael
MONEY!
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40806
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Stanley
I'm listening.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40807
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Kevin
You had me at 'Sex.'
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40808
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Michael
Pervert.
Season 7 · Episode 9 · Quote 40809