Jo Bennett

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45522

Kelly

Uh,... can it be in private? Don't worry, it's not about you. As Minority Executive, I think it's my responsibility to let you know that Gabe is gross. I don't think it's professional that he was sleeping with the receptionist, and then when Erin dumped him, so that she could be with Andy, he became a total crazy stalker psycho.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45523

Jo Bennett

Welcome to Scranton, Jo. Land of a thousand problems only you can fix. Oh for god's sake. He's texting me his resume one line at a time. These are costing me ten cents a piece, you jackass! I'm roaming!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45524

Creed

Get me our biggest client on the phone, right this instant.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45525

Jordan

Who is our biggest client?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45526

Pam

Uh, just put him through to me.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45527

Jordan

Okay.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45528

Pam

Hello! This is... the client.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45529

Creed

It's Creed. FYI, I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps, you in?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45530

Pam

Yes.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45531

Creed

Hehehe, cool. Let's keep this on the QT, okay? I uh, I don't want you to be a dead mamma jamma.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45532

Pam

Great.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45533

Creed

All right, thank you, bye-bye.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45534

Pam

Thank you, bye-bye.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45535

Erin

Jo, you have one more candidate. He's a burn victim.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45536

Jo Bennett

Huh?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45537

Erin

He's all messed up. I can tell him to get lost if you want.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45538

Jo Bennett

No, send him in. Who is this?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45539

Gabe

I have no idea.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45540

Jim

Oh, I know this guy. Hello! Mr. 'Soo-ven-yay.' Mr. 'Jacques Soo-ven-yay.' Nice to meet you. It says here you're French. So you worked at your last job for 15 years as Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45541

Dwight

Assistant Regional Manager.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45542

Jim

Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45543

Dwight

Assistant Regional Manager.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45544

Jim

What is it?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45545

Dwight

Assistant Regional Manager.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45546

Jim

Oh, that's my mistake, sorry about that. The last paper company you worked for burned to the ground? And all because they wouldn't hire a manager who lived and breathed paper? That's a travesty.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45547

Jo Bennett

I want to talk to Dwight Schrute for a second. I want to ask him a question. If he isn't here in sixty seconds...

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45548

Dwight

Uhh. Wait. Wait! No. Stop! Stop. Jo... It's me. I'm Dwight.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45549

Jim

No. No! Wait, but, I mean, you're Dwight, and then... he's the...

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45550

Dwight

Yeah.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45551

Jim

Ohhhh!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45552

Gabe

Very unprofessional, 'Jacques.' Or, should I say, Dwight.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45553

Jo Bennett

Let's just say I had hired this Jack Souvenir. Then what?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45554

Dwight

I would have dressed this way every day, legally changed my name, learned French sign language, shown up, and been the best damn branch manager you'd ever seen!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45555

Jo Bennett

All that for this job.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45556

Dwight

Yes.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45557

Jo Bennett

That's f***ing crazy. Get outta here. What a nutjob.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45558

Jim

This guy was good. Although, he did keep saying that he needed two weeks off right at the beginning for a trip to the finger lakes. Seriously. Every five minutes, he was like, 'just making sure the finger lakes thing is clear.'

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45559

Jo Bennett

Okay, it's fun to talk about the rejects, but uh, who's got ya excited?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45560

Jim

Finger Lakes guy is good. Darryl is also very good.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45561

Jo Bennett

Who's this fella? Went to Cornell. What's wrong with him?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45562

Gabe

How much time do you have? Sales ability? None. Integrity? See sales ability.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45563

Jo Bennett

And that's your unbiased opinion.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45564

Gabe

Yes, it is.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45565

Jo Bennett

So it's not relevant that he took the receptionist away from you?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45566

Gabe

Oh, Jo. Jo, I'm disappointed in you. Some people let personal things into the workpl-. Is she with him? Because I thought that she was...

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45567

Jo Bennett

Gabe...ugh... you got all close to these people. Got involved in their lives. Let's get you back to Florida. We'll figure out something for you.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45568

Gabe

That sounds like a promotion!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45569

Jo Bennett

It's not. Let's get Kelly in here to take his place.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45570

Jim

Um... why Kelly?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45571

Jo Bennett

Cause Gabe's tall and weak. She's short and strong. I'm doing an opposites thing.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45572

Jim

Okay.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45573

Jo Bennett

How'd my girl Nellie do?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45574

Jim

Oh, I didn't know you knew her?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45575

Jo Bennett

She didn't mention it?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45576

Jim

No.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45577

Jo Bennett

Integrity move. I like it.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45578

Jim

You know, she also gave me a reason to think that maybe she wasn't a good fit.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45579

Jo Bennett

Well, I'm not saying you must hire her. If you find someone who's clearly a fit, then fine. Just make sure they fit real good. No more manager turnover. Don't mess this up, Jim. And give Dwight an interview. I like a little bit of crazy.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45580

Erin

Ahh!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45581

Oscar

Erin, what are you doing?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45582

Erin

I've been turned into a puppet!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45583

Oscar

Okay.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45584

Kevin

Look at the puppet! Hi, puppet! Who are you?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45585

Erin

I went to drop off the FedEx forms and an evil witch named Angela turned me into a puppet!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45586

Kevin

Yeah. Low blow, puppet.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45587

Erin

And there's only one thing that can change me back into a real girl.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45588

Kevin

It's good. It's just that I wish the puppets would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me... but, if any kids are watching... A, B, and so forth. You know,... M-N-L-O, P... F...

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45589

Erin

I need the most special thing in the office.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45590

Dwight

Silence?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45591

Erin

A date with the best salesman... Andy Bernard!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45592

Andy

Hey, Erin.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45593

Erin

Oh.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45594

Andy

Where'd you learn how to puppet like that?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45595

Erin

I've done it all my life.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45596

Andy

Listen, I'm really flattered, but I don't think we should.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45597

Andy

Erin's my best friend in this office, hands down, but... when she asked me out, I just didn't have that feeling, you know? Aren't there some things that you really want to like, but you just can't... seem to like it, like, Mad Men... or football... Let's not forget, Erin chose Gabe over me. That happened. I'm not going to apologize for getting over her, okay? I'm sorry. I would go for someone who's more... she's great, though.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45598

Angela

Stanley, I won't be able to invite everyone to the wedding, because we want to keep it to 350.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45599

Stanley

I'll get over it.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45600

Angela

I mean, we just have to see how many Senators and members of Congress want to attend, before we can open it up to regular people. Pam, you know how you and Jim did your ironic wedding? Do you still have the plans for the dream wedding that you couldn't afford?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45601

Pam

That was our dream wedding.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45602

Angela

Niagara Falls? Pregnant? That was your dream? Pork medallions?

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45603

Pam

I hope... you have a very beautiful wedding, Angela.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45604

Angela

Hmm.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45605

Jim

All right. Name.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45606

Dwight

Dwight Schrute.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45607

Jim

Thank you, Mr. Schnoot. We will let you know.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45608

Dwight

You have to interview me...

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45609

Jim

I just did. The answer to that one question told me everything I need to know.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45610

Dwight

I demand more questions!

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45611

Jim

All right, guys, good day, a lot of candidates. Let's discuss.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45612

Dwight

Okay! If you're not going to interview me, then I'll do it.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45613

Jim

Yes.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45614

Dwight

What will be your first priority? I will have seven first priorities. Safety, profits, fostering a community of self-reliance and entrepreneurship, listening, respect for human life, bolstering our public image, and... getting everyone home on time. Dwight, let me be frank. In an accident that no one can blame you for, an antique gun was discharged while you were acting manager. How are we ever to trust you again? That's a great question. I am going to institute a strict no-firearms policy for this office that extends to myself as well. Wow. All of my concerns are disappearing.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45615

Jim

Thank you, Dwight.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45616

Dwight

Thank you. You'll be hearing from us shortly, Mr. Schrute, and I think you're gonna like the call you're going to receive. Oh, come on. I'm just happy that I got this meeting.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45617

Jim

Well, that was quick.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45618

Kelly

Very, very interesting. And you know what? I'm impressed.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45619

Jim

He's not a real candidate.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45620

Kelly

I don't know, Jim, 'cause, makes me think about something my grandfather used to say, which is that, sometimes, the hand that jumps out of the grave and grabs you around the throat; that is the hand that you want on the wheel.

Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45621

"Search Committee" Quotes (page 4)