Every line from The Office season 7, episode 24, in script order. First aired May 19, 2011.
-
Jim
Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45422
-
Dwight
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45423
-
Oscar
Pam... I think Robert is gay.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45424
-
Pam
The Senator? He was married before, and he has a kid.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45425
-
Oscar
So!?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45426
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Pam
And don't say that thing about how lots of gay guys have kids.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45427
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Oscar
I have a very strong suspicion.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45428
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Pam
Did you see him at a bathhouse?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45429
-
Oscar
What bathhouse?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45430
-
Pam
The windowless building by the Baskin Robbins.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45431
-
Oscar
What?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45432
-
Pam
Forget it. I'm never gonna know what goes on there.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45433
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Oscar
My friend at the Scranton Blade is totally plugged into these matters.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45434
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Pam
You're in the gay mafia.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45435
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Oscar
You're thinking of another group. Much wealthier, much older. You sound ignorant.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45436
-
Ryan
You guys, um, talking Senator?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45437
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Pam
No.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45438
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Oscar
No. Why would we be talking about the Senator?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45439
-
Ryan
Cause he's totally gay?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45440
-
Ryan
Um, how do I know that Robert is gay? He 'liked' my facebook photos at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45441
-
David Brent
Name? David Brent. Occupation? Inspirer. Status? None of your business. Young, free, and single, though. Thanks for asking. Hear you're looking for a new boss. Yeah? Someone to tell a bunch of discontented, underencouraged drones what to do every day. Is that it? Oh. Our out-of-touch powers that be? Want me to fire them, if they don't see things your way? Then I ain't that dude. Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye. Get some other corporate suit to lay down the law. What? You've changed your mind? You're now looking for a leader of men? Ipso facto, women too. When do I start? Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45442
-
Phyllis
Do you know what it took to get Bob to notice me? I waited in his office every morning wearing nothing but kitty-cat ears. I did that every day for two weeks. And on the tenth day he walked in, he was naked too, except a dog nose. Guess what we did then?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45443
-
Erin
I... I don't think I can do that.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45444
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Phyllis
Bestiality. Yeah.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45445
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Erin
Well, that's not my personality.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45446
-
Phyllis
If my daughter were asking me...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45447
-
Erin
Yes?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45448
-
Phyllis
I would say, if you want someone, if you really want them,... go get them.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45449
-
Erin
I do really want him.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45450
-
Darryl
So, uh... here you go.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45451
-
Jim
Great.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45452
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Darryl
Hope it's all right.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45453
-
Jim
I'm sure it's fine.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45454
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Darryl
The guy who was in here earlier, interviewed after me, how'd he do?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45455
-
Jim
Howard Cline?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45456
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Darryl
Ehh, that's not who I'm talking about.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45457
-
Jim
Oh... Deshaun Williams.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45458
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Darryl
Yes. How did he do?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45459
-
Jim
He's an amazing man. He's a Rhodes Scholar. He invented an app that invents apps. Fantastic kisser...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45460
-
Darryl
Come on man. I'm being serious. Don't joke.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45461
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Jim
Darryl! We all know you. Your interview is not nearly as important as the other guys.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45462
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Nellie
First, I'll take down the cubicle walls.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45463
-
Toby
But there aren't...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45464
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Nellie
Symbol of transparency. There'd be no titles. Everyone would have the same job. Same goes for me. I'd take your job, but I'd reject the title.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45465
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Gabe
A little un-specific.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45466
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Nellie
Everyone would be known for their accomplishments.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45467
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Jim
That's very interesting. Um, I feel like there might be a conflict there, and if a conflict did arise, how would that be dealt with?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45468
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Nellie
Ooh? Yeah. Mm. Scratch everything from before. I tell you what I'd do. Go the other way. More cubicles. More division. Everyone is somebody's boss, and that person can fire the person below them. At least once a month, the lowest performing person... bye bye!
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45469
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Gabe
How would you compare, like, an accountant and HR?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45470
-
Nellie
Well, I'll tell you how. Shall I? I'll tell you how.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45471
-
Gabe
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45472
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Nellie
By splitting the difference. Just... just, somewhere in the middle.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45473
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Jim
I think that's probably all we need to hear from...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45474
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Nellie
Zen office. Hmm? Thought of that? That's what I'd do. Everyone takes their shoes off, before they come in. Okay. There'd be no desks. You just sit on the floor.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45475
-
Jim
That's very...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45476
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Nellie
You've got a Thai woman, out in the back. Sockee! Sockee!
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45477
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Gabe
Okay, that's not gonna be...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45478
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Nellie
Sockee!... is her name. Okay? Shes administering massage, all right, if you need it. If you don't, whatever, just talk to her! She's a person! Either way, 50 minutes of that and you...you are cracking to go.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45479
-
Oscar
Is there a front runner?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45480
-
Jim
You know what? They all just sort of blend together after a while.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45481
-
Oscar
Well, there must be someone who stands out.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45482
-
Jim
No, not at all. In fact, I'm not even taking it seriously. I think at the end of the day, I'm just gonna pick a name out of the hat.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45483
-
Oscar
Well...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45484
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Stanley
The hell you will! I worked for the last boss for 15 years. According to my doctor, I don't have another 15 years if I want to keep up the same dietary and sexual lifestyle, which I intend to.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45485
-
Ryan
Oh no, Stanley... you'll live forever...
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45486
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Stanley
My next boss will be my last boss. He'll be at my funeral. So I would appreciate it if you would take this seriously.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45487
-
Jim
Uh--
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45488
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Meredith
You pick a crappy boss, you're responsible for my crappy life.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45489
-
Jim
Okay, everybody, I was just making a joke. I am taking it seriously, I promise.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45490
-
Oscar
Are you?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45491
-
Ryan
Little advice? Take a day off from the whole Jim schtick. Try caring about something. You might like how it feels... James.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45492
-
Jo Bennett
Gabe, honey! Oh, lord. Take all this.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45493
-
Gabe
All right.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45494
-
Jo Bennett
Here. Jim! Did you hear Stern this morning?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45495
-
Jim
No, was it good?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45496
-
Jo Bennett
Ohh, Robin was good. She's always good. Keeps him on his toes. Its Howard's show though. Whose is this? Darryl Philbin. Ohh. Very nice to see a familiar face on top. Ah... a little long aren't we? Four pages? Is this the same Darryl Philbin who's had two jobs in ten years at one company?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45497
-
Darryl
Yes, thanks to you, who promoted me, after we, uh, interfaced.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45498
-
Jo Bennett
Coordinated and implemented receipt storage and delivery of over 2.5 billion units of inventory. 2.5 billion, Darryl? 2.5 billion units of what?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45499
-
Darryl
Paper material, ma'am.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45500
-
Jo Bennett
Paper material?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45501
-
Darryl
Pieces of paper.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45502
-
Dwight
Jo, may I speak to you for a second?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45503
-
Jo Bennett
Or what? You gonna shoot me?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45504
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Dwight
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ohh, I enjoy laughing at my mistakes, because I've learned so much from them. I'd like to be interviewed for the position.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45505
-
Jo Bennett
I'll interview you right now.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45506
-
Dwight
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45507
-
Jo Bennett
Question 1. Ever shot a gun in the office?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45508
-
Dwight
It's complicated.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45509
-
Jo Bennett
Yeah, but see... it's not.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45510
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Phyllis
I don't think we should tell her. Angela went a whole day without telling me I had lettuce in my teeth. Screw her.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45511
-
Pam
I'm a woman. I would want to know.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45512
-
Meredith
Yeah, you gotta know.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45513
-
Kevin
Okay, but if Angela can get a gay man to marry her, maybe I could get a lesbian to marry me? Huh? Huh? That's hot.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45514
-
Oscar
You have met a lesbian in real life, right?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45515
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Phyllis
You know, this is probably is her last chance at a family.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45516
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Pam
She does seem happy.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45517
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Oscar
You're right. You're right. She seems happy. We don't tell her.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45518
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Kevin
We don't tell her.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45519
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Pam
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45520
-
Kelly
Excuse me, Ms. Bennett, may I have a word?
Season 7 · Episode 24 · Line 45521