Every quote from The Office season 7, episode 21, in script order. First aired April 28, 2011.
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Michael
Well, I'm moving to Colorado to start my new life with Holly. Just up here, getting used to the altitude.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44371
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Dwight
Michael?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44372
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Michael
Yes?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44373
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Dwight
I've got a treat for you!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44374
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Michael
Ahh, thank you. Like a butler.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44375
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Dwight
Colorado specialty, Rocky Mountain Oysters.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44376
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Michael
Oh, these do not taste like oysters.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44377
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Dwight
That's because they're Not oysters, they're bull testicles! I cut them off fresh this morning! Hah!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44378
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Michael
Sick freak! What is wrong with you?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44379
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Dwight
What is wrong with you? I'm the sick freak? After what you did? You expect to be buttled? You didn't recommend me?!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44380
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Michael
I don't own Dunder Mifflin, okay? The job was not mine to give. Look, I need your advice on something. I am told that there are bears in the Rockies.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44381
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Dwight
Where did you hear that? Obvious XM Radio?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44382
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Michael
Well, I was just thinking that maybe I should keep a salami in my pocket...
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44383
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Dwight
Great idea.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44384
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Michael
...in order to feed the bears.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44385
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Dwight
Especially if you think that life would be better without Legs!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44386
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Michael
How do you mean?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44387
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Dwight
Black Bears can smell a salami at five miles Michael, what are you thinking?! And they run faster than a horse, so if you were thinking about outrunning one on a horse I would try a cheetah. You, in tight pants, Michael, are a salami to a Black Bear. Do you understand? You're like a giant walking salami!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44388
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Michael
Okay, so no salami in the pants. How about a pepperoni?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44389
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Dwight
Any kind of meat that you can possibly name!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44390
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Michael
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44391
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Deangelo Vickers
You're not gonna take all these toys are you?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44392
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Michael
Hm?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44393
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Deangelo Vickers
I mean you don't have a job lined up, so it's not like you have a desk to put 'em on.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44394
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Michael
Well I have interviews.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44395
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Deangelo Vickers
That's nice. How 'bout that truck? Can I have this little truck? I was thinking I might... glue a stapler on top. Or put a hole here, stick pens in it. You okay?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44396
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Michael
Yes. Yes, you know what? Take my favorite truck. Sure.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44397
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Deangelo Vickers
You know what? Uh, it's your last couple days, I'm gonna get out of your hair.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44398
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Michael
Oh you don't, that's-
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44399
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Deangelo Vickers
I will be in the break room.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44400
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Michael
That sounds good. Thank you.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44401
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Deangelo Vickers
Dead man walking.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44402
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Michael
Sad? No, no, no. I don't leave 'til tomorrow, so... Tomorrow I will be a wreck.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44403
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Gabe
Stay away from Erin!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44404
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Andy
Hey!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44405
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Gabe
I'm your boss!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44406
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Andy
Why don't you, uh, stay away from me?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44407
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Gabe
No, I'm gonna stand where I want. Okay? You don't wanna get on my bad side! I've seen some horrible things! I own over two hundred horror movies!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44408
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Andy
Okay! That's so weird! Just go away!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44409
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Gabe
No! You go away!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44410
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Andy
Hi Tuna.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44411
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Jim
So you guys are filming people when they go to the bathroom now?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44412
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Phyllis
How about cupcakes?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44413
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Angela
Please.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44414
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Pam
What's wrong with cupcakes?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44415
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Angela
Everything.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44416
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Michael
There they are! Party Planning Committee together again!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44417
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Pam
Well we all wanted to plan your goodbye party. We thought this would be easier.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44418
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Pam
We thought.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44419
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Angela
It's an experiment.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44420
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Phyllis
The three of us have all been chairmen before.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44421
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Pam
So this is the dream team.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44422
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Meredith
Hey! What are you saying?!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44423
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Angela
The dream team... and Meredith.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44424
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Meredith
We decided on the ice cream. Mint chocolate chip, your favorite.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44425
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Michael
Mmm!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44426
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Phyllis
Yeah that was a surprise...
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44427
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Michael
You know what, I'm thinking maybe we should get ice cream that everybody'll like. How about vanilla? Let's get vanilla.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44428
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Pam
Okay.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44429
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Michael
Tomorrow I want everyone to have a good time. No drama. And as for today, just a typical day. Alright?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44430
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Pam
Should we get toppings?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44431
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Michael
What do you like Pam?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44432
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Pam
What?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44433
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Michael
What kind of toppings would you like?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44434
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Pam
Hot fudge?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44435
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Michael
Sounds good. Fudge it up!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44436
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Michael
I bought this for myself. And yesterday, they gave me this. I still need something to drink out of though.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44437
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Michael
Attention everyone, before I leave tomorrow I would like to reveal a secret I have kept for over twenty years. A secret about Phyllis.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44438
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Phyllis
Please Michael.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44439
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Michael
When Phyllis was in high school, she was so... cute. And she still is.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44440
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Phyllis
I thought he knew about the baby I gave away.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44441
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Phyllis
Look Michael, it's a going away present so your hands won't get cold.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44442
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Michael
Ahh.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44443
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Phyllis
It's almost done, but you can't get them wet, and they can't be dry-cleaned either. You have to hand wash without water, wring-dry gently, and use a hairdryer on cool.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44444
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Michael
Sounds great, I just think it's great. Oh, I have gifts as well! And I will start, by giving the first gift to Phyllis! Phyllis, you are shy and sweet, and you don't often speak your mind, but you should. Because you have great ideas. So Phyllis, I am giving you this, so you can always remember to speak your mind.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44445
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Phyllis
It's cute.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44446
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Michael
Stanley, you love your Sudoku and your puzzles, I bestow upon you, my felt. May you never lose the fun loving quality in life.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44447
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Stanley
Where's the rest of it, it's got no balls.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44448
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Michael
Well, okay... And Andy, Andy who needs confidence that he is a great salesman. I give you, my clients, our ten most important accounts.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44449
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Andy
Wow.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44450
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Stanley
Yeah wow!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44451
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Andy
You know I'm the worst salesman here right?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44452
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Michael
But you're the best salesman, on the inside.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44453
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Phyllis
What does that even mean?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44454
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Michael
You sold us all on Andy, a product that nobody wanted.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44455
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Andy
I'm gonna lose 'em.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44456
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Michael
You're not gonna lose them.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44457
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Andy
I promise you that I will.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44458
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Michael
Just do your best! I have faith in you.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44459
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Stanley
Gimme those clients!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44460
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Andy
No.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44461
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Phyllis
Do you believe that?!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44462
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Dwight
I've given up expecting Michael to do the right thing. Or the decent thing. Or even the comprehensible thing.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44463
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Deangelo Vickers
I used to be obese. Once you've conquered obesity, everything else is easy. Life literally moves in slow motion. I'm not saying I'm superman, but, let me just put it this way. If I were shot in the head, I'm pretty sure everything would be fine. I almost welcome it.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44464
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Michael
Kevin, I have something for you.
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44465
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Kevin
Oh!
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44466
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Michael
You know who that is?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44467
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Kevin
Oh...
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44468
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Michael
Don't be a caricature Kevin, never be a caricature. How did that feel when I tore that up?
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44469
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Kevin
Better...
Season 7 · Episode 21 · Quote 44470