Gabe

Someday, you are going to tell our grandchildren about how their grandfather won you back in a women's room.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44571

Erin

Can we talk about this later, I have to go.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44572

Gabe

Just read the letter under your windshield wiper, it explains everything. Quick one.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44573

Erin

Gabe!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44574

Gabe

Okay...

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44575

Toby

Here's the thing Rory, I knew you guys would hit it off in an odd way.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44576

Rory

I can bring him a welcome basket. I'll surprise him.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44577

Toby

Do- Well you should give him a little time to settle in. But-

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44578

Rory

Does he like jams? My shelves are over flowing with preserves.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44579

Toby

Well, no. He hates jams.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44580

Michael

Darryl!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44581

Darryl

Hey.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44582

Michael

I would like to give you, the only copy, of Somehow I Manage. Unfinished. If there's anyone here who can finish it, it's you.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44583

Darryl

That's sweet Mike. Let's see here. There's a chapter, called Gum. With one sentence. Everybody likes the guy who offers him a stick of gum.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44584

Michael

Mmmhmmm. It's true. Darryl, I have one last wish. I would like to use the bailer.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44585

Darryl

No. Can't let you do that Mike.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44586

Michael

No problem. Worth a try.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44587

Michael

Darryl said I could use the bailer because I'm leaving.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44588

Warehouse Guy

No.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44589

Michael

Alright guys, well... see ya later warehouse. Catch you on the flippity flip.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44590

Deangelo Vickers

okay, so what's our approach? You a veteran? Do I have a month to live? You gonna get married tomorrow? What? Hmm?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44591

Andy

I thought we'd just talk about our customer service and exceptional paper quality.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44592

Deangelo Vickers

That's stupid.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44593

Andy

What do I know?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44594

Deangelo Vickers

What do you know? We gotta get psyched up! Okay? Guy? Let's get psyched! Is there an animal shelter on the way?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44595

Andy

Yeah.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44596

Deangelo Vickers

Awesome! Ani Ani Shelto! Here we come. Do you know how to high-five?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44597

Andy

Yeah!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44598

Deangelo Vickers

Cause if you do now's the time.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44599

Andy

Alright.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44600

Deangelo Vickers

Not while I'm driving.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44601

Michael

Catch you guys- Catch you guys on the filippity flip. Flippity flip! Flippity flip! Really? Okay, see ya guys!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44602

Deangelo Vickers

You know how I met Jo Bennett? And got started on my ladder of success?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44603

Andy

No. I don't.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44604

Deangelo Vickers

I'm walking along, out of work. Again. Thinking to myself, 'I only have enough cash to by a sandwich, or get drunk. And I see this guy trying to steal this lady's dog! So I grab the dog. He runs off. She's so grateful, she hires me.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44605

Andy

Awwhh, wow.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44606

Deangelo Vickers

Gimme that dog! That's not your dog! Yeah! Again.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44607

Andy

Oh, okay...

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44608

Deangelo Vickers

Gimme that damn dog you f***ing thief! Don't ever do It again! You hear me?! You feel that energy?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44609

Andy

Mmhmmm.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44610

DeAgnelo

Wooo! Yeah! Okay, again.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44611

Erin

I know that Gabe is young, and hot and everything. And he's begging me to reconsider, but I... I just think I'm in love with someone else.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44612

Michael

Kevin?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44613

Erin

Andy.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44614

Michael

Ahhhh...

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44615

Erin

I wish I knew who my birth mother was, so she could just tell me who to choose.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44616

Michael

Maybe neither.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44617

Erin

I'm not attracted to Kevin.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44618

Michael

Erin, listen to me. You shouldn't rush into this. At all. And you know why? Because you are beautiful. And you are fun. And you are smart. And when the right guy comes along, you'll know it. You will. And you know what? You don't need a mom. Because you have my number, and you can call me anytime.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44619

Erin

Extension 147.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44620

Michael

N-

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44621

Erin

I know.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44622

Michael

Okay.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44623

Phyllis

You want the 27-26 or the 27-30?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44624

Michael

Phyllis. Phyllis, are my mittens done?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44625

Phyllis

No. I'm on a sale!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44626

Michael

Listen to me. It's two p.m. From now until four, your priority is knitting. Knit like the wind.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44627

Phyllis

Okay...

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44628

Michael

Dwight, I will be leaving tomorrow.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44629

Dwight

Yes.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44630

Michael

So I wanted to give you that. It's a letter of recommendation.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44631

Dwight

This is gonna be good. To whom it may concern. Good, real personal. Thanks Michael. The dictionary defines superlative as: of the highest kind, quality, or order, surpassing all else, or others. Supreme. That's great, if I wanted the dictionary definition I'd buy a dictionary. I define it as Dwight Schrute. As a sales executive, as a leader, as a man, and as a friend, he is of the highest kind, quality, and order. Supreme. Lot's more like that, really repetitive. What's this? Two forty five, behind the building. Paintball. Ohhh, yeah.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44632

Dwight

[opening his trunk excitedly and gets out his paintball gear, takes his gun and looks for Michael, gives up, Michael jumps out of the dumpster shooting, they shoot each other, yell, laugh, and taunt, having a great time]

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44633

Michael

[in the office, crosses Dwight off his list. He has paint in his messed up hair, and is containing his laughter]

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44634

Deangelo Vickers

I would just like to start off saying, I have not worked with Mr. Andy Bernard for very long, I can say, is that he is no Michael Scott. I can't sit here and tell you he's gonna be a success. I can't sit here and tell you that he's even the best man for the job. But I can say this: He's got potential. Sure. You know, I always say: go big, or go home. You go with This guy, you could be making the biggest mistake of your life, OR, the biggest, Good decision of your life. It's either gonna be the best thing you ever did, or the worst thing you ever did. If you want some boring, white bread clock-watcher who's gonna get you your paper when you ordered it, for the agreed upon price, Andy's not your guy. You ever play Russian Roulette? Time to spin the chamber horse. By signing up for another year.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44635

Jim

Ahh, what happened to you?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44636

Michael

You should see the other guy.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44637

Dwight

[smiles knowingly]

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44638

Michael

Jim where is Pam?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44639

Jim

Uhh, she's still pricing the whatevers. The shredders.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44640

Michael

But it is already three o'clock!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44641

Pam

[walks into a movie theater showing The King's Speech]

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44642

Michael

Whether you're scared of dying, or dying Alone, or dying drunk in a ditch. Don't be. It's going to be okay.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44643

Michael

Yeah I was tripling up. There's not enough time in the day to have a special moment with everybody.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44644

Michael

And you, why are you still here.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44645

Gabe

I'm either going to quit today, or stay to make sure that Andy's career is destroyed.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44646

Michael

No, you are not going to quit today. For goodness sake, this is not going to be your last day in the office. Everybody gets dumped Gabe. Can I give you a piece of advice? A little cover-up on your Adam's apple will make it appear smaller, and make you look less like a transvestite.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44647

Deangelo Vickers

That is cold sir! Absolutely cold. You know what? It was a complete waste of my time.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44648

Andy

Uh Deangelo, I'm, uh. I forgot my bag, so I'll meet you in the car.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44649

Deangelo Vickers

Okay whatever.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44650

Andy

Sir, I'd just like to apologize, for that. I could tell you that he has a steel plate in his head, or that he's crazy, but the truth is I think he's just a terrible salesman. And I want you to know, that if you re-up with us, anything you need, day or night, I will be the one to take your call.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44651

Client

Keep talking.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44652

Deangelo Vickers

Yes. Okay, alright. No, well thank you! Alright, take care. You'll never guess, we did it!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44653

Andy

Hey! Good job boss!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44654

Deangelo Vickers

We did it!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44655

Michael

Okay, everybody come on. Conference room five seconds! Let's go! Hurry up, let's do this!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44656

Stanley

Yes, what is this about?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44657

Michael

What is this meeting about?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44658

Stanley

Mmhmmm.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44659

Michael

Okay, here we are in the conference room. Once again. And I just wanted to call you all here, together, because I have something important. Well there's two things actually. Okay first, I would like a whereabouts on Pam. And secondly, Phyllis how are those mittens coming? Because I would actually like to bring them home and pack them. I'm leaving for the day at four.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44660

Phyllis

They're almost done but my knuckles are swelling a little and-

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44661

Michael

Well power through the arthritis Phyllis you can do it!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44662

Stanley

Is that it?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44663

Michael

Umm, hmm?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44664

Stanley

Is that it?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44665

Michael

Ummm... Hm... No. No. There's a special guest that I would like to invite to say one last goodbye. So here he comes, he's coming right in. Oh hi everybody, it's Ping! And I'm here to say goodbye to all you wonderful people! Thank you everybody! You've been so wonderful! I ruv you all! I ruv you very much!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44666

Jim

Hey, can I talk to you for a second?

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44667

Michael

Sure. Be right out!

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44668

Jim

So I've been meaning to tell ya, I wanna take you out for lunch. For your last day.

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44669

Michael

Ohh...

Season 7 · Episode 21 · Line 44670

"Goodbye, Michael" Quotes (page 3)