Every line from The Office season 5, episode 4, in script order. First aired October 23, 2008.
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Dwight
Okay, fine. I've moved on. Now how do I get her back?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23959
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Phyllis
Well Dwight, I don't think you do. I think you've got your answer.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23960
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Dwight
Wait, that's it? That's your advice? I thought you had some kind of big master plan.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23961
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Phyllis
Well, I just think we all deserve to be with someone who wants to be with us.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23962
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Dwight
Oh. I get it. You're trying to secure your place as head of the party-planning committee. You're just being selfish. And you slap like a girl.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23963
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Dwight
What did Phyllis do wrong? I'll tell you what Phyllis did wrong. She stuck her nose into my business and tried to help me.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23964
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Roy
What's going on with Pam?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23965
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Jim
Oh, she's good actually.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23966
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Roy
Yeah?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23967
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Jim
She's, um, she's in New York. She's at an art school.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23968
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Roy
Really?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23969
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Jim
Yeah, she's doing really well.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23970
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Roy
Huh.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23971
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Jim
She's engaged, um... to me.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23972
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Roy
Congrats, man.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23973
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Jim
Oh, thanks man. Appreciate that.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23974
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Roy
So Pam's happy?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23975
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Jim
Yeah, I'd say she's happy. I mean, she loves her classes. Loves the city. I mean, last night, she was out with her friends, till, like, 8:00 AM.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23976
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Roy
Wow.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23977
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Jim
What?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23978
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Roy
I thought you were a friend.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23979
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Jim
I am going to see Pam. Because I feel like I should.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23980
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Bob
When are you getting to Bruce?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23981
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Michael
Uh, just a few more items.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23982
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All
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23983
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Michael
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right! Here we go. All right, big ticket item. All right, in my pocket, I have... two tickets... to Mr. Bruce Springsteen, front... Oh, where are those? Has anyone seen an envelope with Bruce Springsteen front row tickets and backstage passes? Anybody seen something like-lying around?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23984
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Stanley
Do you want us to look for 'em?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23985
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Michael
No. I think they were stolen. I think they were stolen and they're gone forever. So... oh, that was the last good item. So, good job, everybody.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23986
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Phyllis
I have my hug.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23987
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Michael
Yeah, well, Phyllis, nobody... really wants a hug, so.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23988
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Bob
I'll bid on a hug.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23989
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Michael
She's your wife, you idiot.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23990
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Bob
100 dollars.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23991
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David Wallace
200
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23992
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Michael
Uh, what the hell is happening?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23993
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Andy
250
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23994
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Angela
What are you doing?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23995
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Andy
I need a hug, unless you're gonna give me one.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23996
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Angela
Not here.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23997
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Bob
300
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23998
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Michael
300, we have 300. 300 going once. 300 going twice.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23999
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Dwight
300 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24000
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Michael
300 and one penny, 300 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24001
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Bob
325
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24002
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Michael
325, 325.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24003
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David Wallace
350
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24004
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Michael
350
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24005
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Dwight
350 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24006
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Michael
350 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24007
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Bob
400
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24008
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Michael
400, 400 hey batter batter.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24009
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Dwight
400 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24010
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Michael
400 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24011
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Bob
500
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24012
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Michael
500
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24013
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Dwight
500 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24014
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Michael
500 and one penny. One million dollar!
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24015
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Bob
700
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24016
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Michael
700
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24017
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Dwight
700 and one penny.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24018
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Michael
Humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-humuna-
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24019
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Bob
1,000
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24020
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Dwight
Eh, it's not worth it.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24021
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Michael
1,000 going once, 1,000 going twice. Sold for 1,000 dollar. Nicely done.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24022
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Jim
No. you know what? No. Because... I'm not that guy. And we are not that couple.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24023
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Michael
Hey, that looks good. Listen, about the tickets. It's sort of a gray-kind of a gray area in terms of...whether or not I had them-
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24024
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Holly
The Springsteen tickets seemed too good to be true. But, a lot of Michael seems too good to be true. So far it's all true. But yeah, those tickets, really seemed too good to be true.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24025
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David Wallace
No, I did not know that Michael was dating Holly.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24026
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Pam
What can I do for you, Michael? I'm kinda busy.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24027
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Michael
Oh, I guess that job that I got you is working out for you well, then.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24028
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Pam
It is. Thanks again.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24029
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Michael
Hey, if there's anything else I can do, just let me know.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24030
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Pam
And of course, if there's ever anything I can ever do for you...
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24031
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Michael
You know what? I would love a slice of real New York style pizza.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24032
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Pam
If I get you a slice of pizza, are we even?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24033
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Michael
Even as pie.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24034
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Michael
Okay... don't ask me how I got it, let's just say that I have... connections. Mmm. Mmm. I'm the Godfather. I'm gonna eat this whole pizza. And then I'm gonna kill you. some cheese. You gotta fold it up. That's the way you eat pizza.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24035
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Jim
I just don't know if he's presidential enough.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24036
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Pam
I know. And how long is CJ gonna spin this whole MS thing? How can Josh and Sam keep quiet?
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24037
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Pam
Every night, Jim and I watch an episode of The West Wing together on DVD. Um, he wanted to watch Battlestar Galactica and I wanted to watch Cranford... so we compromised. Next we're gonna watch Cranford.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24038
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Jim
Cranford? No. We will never watch that.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24039
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Michael
I am going to run three possible date ideas by you and I want you to tell me which one gets your blood percolating.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24040
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Jim
Ah, I'm sure they're all great.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24041
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Michael
I have two sure things, one wildcard.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24042
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Jim
Let's start with the wildcard.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24043
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Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24044
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Jim
Mmm-hmm.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24045
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Michael
The wildcard is dinner at a nice restaurant.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24046
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Jim
Uh-oh.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24047
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Michael
Exactly. Here, here are my sure things. I blindfold her. I take her to the Houdini Museum. She chains me up...
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24048
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Jim
I think I got a pretty good sense of that one.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24049
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Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24050
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Jim
Yep.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24051
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Michael
All right.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24052
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Jim
Let's move on to the next.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24053
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Michael
Number two, we go to the mall...
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24054
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Jim
Mmm-hmm.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24055
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Michael
We go to the bed store, I let her choose whatever bed she wants...
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24056
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Jim
Oh, that's good.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24057
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Michael
And we have sex on it.
Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 24058