"Crime Aid" Quotes

Every line from The Office season 5, episode 4, in script order. First aired October 23, 2008.

311 quotes · page 1 of 4

  1. Receptionist

    Pam, line three.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23759

  2. Pam

    Okay, thanks.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23760

  3. Pam

    New York, as it turns out, is very expensive, and I ran out of money. I thought about selling a kidney, but Michael offered to get me a part-time job at corporate.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23761

  4. Pam

    Hey.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23762

  5. Michael

    Paaam-o-laaaaaa...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23763

  6. Pam

    Of course, now Michael knows where to reach me 16 to 18 hours a week.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23764

  7. Pam

    Hey Michael.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23765

  8. Michael

    Paaam-o-laaaaaa... Miss ya kiddo. Miss you... so much.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23766

  9. Michael

    Hey.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23767

  10. Holly

    Hello.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23768

  11. Michael

    That was really fun last night.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23769

  12. Holly

    Yeah, it was nice.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23770

  13. Michael

    I'm actually thinking about getting my own set of putt-putt golf clubs.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23771

  14. Holly

    Oh, that would be great. You need that.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23772

  15. Michael

    Yeah?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23773

  16. Holly

    Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23774

  17. Michael

    Oh really?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23775

  18. Holly

    Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23776

  19. Michael

    Well...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23777

  20. Holly

    It would help.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23778

  21. Michael

    I, uh... I let her win.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23779

  22. Holly

    No, he didn't.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23780

  23. Michael

    So, when, um, can I see you again?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23781

  24. Holly

    Um, tonight, I'm free tonight. Is that too eager?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23782

  25. Michael

    No.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23783

  26. Holly

    I don't care, free tonight.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23784

  27. Michael

    Okay. Oh, wait, oh, tonight's no good. Because I am busy taking you out.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23785

  28. Holly

    Oh, I just remembered, I can't tonight.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23786

  29. Michael

    Why?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23787

  30. Holly

    I'm going out with you.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23788

  31. Michael

    Wow... Oh, wait a second, I can't tonight...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23789

  32. Holly

    No more.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23790

  33. Michael

    Tonight's so...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23791

  34. Holly

    No more.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23792

  35. Michael

    Too many times. It's all good, um, alright, so, good, so, have a nice day.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23793

  36. Holly

    Thank you, you too.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23794

  37. Michael

    You're welcome.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23795

  38. Michael

    In my opinion, the third date is traditionally the one where... you have sex. Does Holly feel that way? I don't know. I will probably find out tonight. If she starts having sex with me I'll know for sure.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23796

  39. Andy

    That's for you. And, um, oh. I am right in assuming that Dwight is short for D-Money. 'Cause that's what I wrote on your save-the-date.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23797

  40. Dwight

    You set a date?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23798

  41. Andy

    J-Money. Or should it be T-Money, for Tuna? Receptionist Money. K-Money.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23799

  42. Phyllis

    What are you making?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23800

  43. Dwight

    A knife.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23801

  44. Phyllis

    You're making a knife with a knife?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23802

  45. Dwight

    You got a better way?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23803

  46. Phyllis

    You want to talk about it?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23804

  47. Dwight

    About what?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23805

  48. Phyllis

    You know I know. You know they know.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23806

  49. Dwight

    I know none of that. If I did, you'd be the last to know.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23807

  50. Holly

    Oh, the mall could be fun.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23808

  51. Michael

    Yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23809

  52. Holly

    We could go to the food court and get different foods. You could get Chicken Teriyaki. I could get a hot dog.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23810

  53. Michael

    Some of what we order depends on whether we're having sex after. Oh, my. Wow, elephant in the room. Are we, do you think? Do you think we're going to have sex tonight?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23811

  54. Holly

    ...Hell yeah.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23812

  55. Michael

    Okay, so, we do the restaurant thing and then... then... then we can do... We'll just do the restaurant thing first.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23813

  56. Holly

    Yeah, that's good.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23814

  57. Michael

    Probably get soup or something light.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23815

  58. Phyllis

    Hi.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23816

  59. Dwight

    She introduced me to so many things. Pasteurized milk, sheets, monotheism, presents on your birthday, preventative medicine.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23817

  60. Phyllis

    It's nice to learn new things.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23818

  61. Dwight

    I was talking to myself.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23819

  62. Phyllis

    Okay.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23820

  63. Dwight

    I just don't get it.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23821

  64. Phyllis

    What don't you get?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23822

  65. Dwight

    Why is she marrying Andy?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23823

  66. Phyllis

    Angela's not really a risk taker. And Andy's not really a risk.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23824

  67. Dwight

    That's really fattening.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23825

  68. Phyllis

    No, it's lettuce.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23826

  69. Holly

    It's time to go.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23827

  70. Michael

    No. No. Reservations are at 8:00, so we've got like an hour and 45 minutes. I'm a crazy eight, I'm crazy.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23828

  71. Holly

    You're crazy, go crazy.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23829

  72. Holly

    Oh, I forgot my keys.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23830

  73. Michael

    Do you need 'em?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23831

  74. Holly

    Yeah, lets go grab them.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23832

  75. Michael

    All right.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23833

  76. Holly

    Oh, after vous.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23834

  77. Michael

    Thank vous. What? Oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23835

  78. Holly

    I didn't forget my keys, I just didn't want to make out with you in front of the cameras. Do you think they can hear us?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23836

  79. Michael

    Not if we turn these dials all the way down. Now they can't hear us at all.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23837

  80. Holly

    Oh, good.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23838

  81. Michael

    We're totally alone.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23839

  82. Angela

    Yes, that's correct. I need to cancel checks from 10,001 to 90,000.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23840

  83. Oscar

    Great, they stole my laptop.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23841

  84. Kevin

    Yeah, well, they stole my surge protector.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23842

  85. Oscar

    How does that even compare?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23843

  86. Kevin

    Oscar, I'm now going to be prone to surges.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23844

  87. Michael

    Oh, my God, what happened?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23845

  88. Jim

    We were robbed last night.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23846

  89. Dwight

    Bravo, Watson. Looks like a classic seven-man job. Okay, security tapes were stolen, Motives-financial, or possible, vintage HP computer collectors. Hank down at security had clocked out. And that's all we have.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23847

  90. Holly

    Can I talk to you for a second?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23848

  91. Michael

    Yeah. Oh... oh!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23849

  92. Holly

    That wasn't us, right? I mean... you remembered to lock the doors?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23850

  93. Michael

    No, did you?

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23851

  94. Holly

    Michael I think this is our fault.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23852

  95. Michael

    Oh, no, my God.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23853

  96. Holly

    Oh...

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23854

  97. Michael

    Oh my God!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23855

  98. Michael

    So much for sex without consequences.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23856

  99. Pam [on phone]

    You are such a dork! Shots!

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23857

  100. Jim

    So apparently Pam went out last night, and accidentally called my work phone at 3:00 in the morning.

    Season 5 · Episode 4 · Line 23858