Every line from The Office season 5, episode 19, in script order. First aired March 26, 2009.
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Michael
I had no idea when I got in that car and headed to New York I was going to quit. I got on that ramp and I thought two hours, two hours to go. Feeling good. Listen to some tunes. Should've peed before I left.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28476
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Kelly
Michael get to the good part.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28477
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Michael
Okay, so. I get up to the building, I get to the revolving door... broken! So I have to take the normal door.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28478
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Oscar
At least he is in the building.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28479
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Michael
No, No! I was so nervous it was the wrong building! I walked into the wrong building!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28480
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Everyone
[groans]
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28481
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Pam
He finally has a story everyone wants to hear... and he knows it.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28482
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Pam
Okay focus. Focus. You're in the right building, you're with the right people; what happened?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28483
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Michael
I looked at Wallace and I said 'I quit!' and as I turned to leave I looked back and I said 'You have no idea how high I can fly.'
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28484
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Stanley
Did you tell him how sick of him you were?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28485
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Michael
Why would I do that?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28486
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Angela
Well, wouldn't it feel good to tell him that he was incompetent?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28487
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Kevin
That he's wasted 15 years of your life?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28488
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Meredith
Did you spit in his face?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28489
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Michael
You guys have thought about this a lot more than I have. I just winged it.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28490
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Oscar
I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope. Maybe I will have one of own someday. But I dream... so...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28491
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Jim
About a week ago, Michael gave his 2-week notice. And, surprisingly there is a very big difference between Michael trying and Michael not trying.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28492
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Kevin
Michael is that scotch?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28493
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Michael
Scotch with Splenda. Tastes like Splenda, gets you drunk like scotch. Clinky, clinky-clink. Come-on... come on, come on.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28494
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Michael
What am I gonna do? I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I gonna do a little bit of this, a little bit of that. I gonna stay up all day. Gonna sleep it up all night. I'm gonna give it a OHH! HEY! HO! And I'm going to stop worrying about calories.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28495
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Stanley
Maybe you should go into your office, close the door, and make some calls about jobs?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28496
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Michael
I have a job.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28497
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Andy
For four more days.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28498
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Pam
Do you have any leads on a job?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28499
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Michael
Pam, what you don't understand is that at my level you just don't look in the want-ads for a job. You are head-hunted.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28500
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Jim
You called any headhunters?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28501
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Michael
Any good headhunter knows I am available.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28502
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Dwight
Any really good headhunter would storm your village at sunset with overwhelming force and cut off your head with a ceremonial knife,
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28503
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Jim
Right, cause that's what we are talking about.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28504
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Charles Miner
Uh, I need you to go over this client list and indicate any wrong or false data.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28505
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Michael
You're 'I need you to' is my command.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28506
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Charles Miner
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28507
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Andy
Hey Michael...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28508
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Michael
Hey.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28509
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Andy
Can I talk to you a minute?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28510
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Michael
You can talk to me for as long as you want. I have all the time in the world. Oh God! Blech! Phyllis!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28511
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Andy
I just wanted to tell you that... Oh What? What's that?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28512
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Michael
Oh! Hey. What is this about?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28513
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Andy
Um, you know, cause your leaving and so, it's a farewell...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28514
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Michael
Oh.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28515
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Andy
I hope I get to work with you someday again.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28516
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Michael
Me too, me too. Is this wine?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28517
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Andy
Ah... busted. Yes
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28518
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Michael
I already have wine.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28519
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Andy
Oh.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28520
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Isaac
Hello.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28521
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Pam
Hi.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28522
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Isaac
Isaac Silby here for the interview
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28523
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Pam
Uh, yes. Please have a seat. It'll be a few minutes.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28524
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Isaac
Thank you. You interviewing too?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28525
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Michael
Hmm?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28526
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Isaac
Interviewing?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28527
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Michael
For?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28528
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Isaac
Regional manager.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28529
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Michael
Yes I am.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28530
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Charles Miner
For regional manager I've decided to go with an outside hire. For obvious reasons.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28531
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Michael
Where you from?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28532
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Isaac
Philly.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28533
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Michael
That's a drive!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28534
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Isaac
Yeah, well this is one of the few places that's hiring. It's uh, its brutal out there.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28535
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Michael
[sighs]
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28536
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Kevin
Pam?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28537
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Pam
Hmm?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28538
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Kevin
When will the new copier be ready?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28539
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Pam
I'm working on it Kev.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28540
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Kevin
You said it would be ready by today. And it is today.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28541
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Pam
It'll be ready soon.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28542
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Kevin
Soon could mean anything. Soon could be 3 weeks.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28543
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Pam
Is that what 'soon' means to you?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28544
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Kevin
Sometimes.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28545
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Pam
Then come back soon.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28546
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Pam
During the course of business, a copier goes though something called 'Normal wear and tear.'
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28547
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Creed
I think it's 75 cents.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28548
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Oscar
That's a lot.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28549
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Angela
Bandit, No! No no no!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28550
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Kevin
Oh!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28551
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Pam
Yesterday, they delivered the new one. But they didn't set it up. So my day just got a little more interesting.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28552
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Jim
Its Monster dot com. Singular.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28553
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Michael
Thank you.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28554
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Michael
You work in paper long enough, you get to know the players.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28555
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Phone
Hi, you've reached Prince Paper. We are sad to inform you that after 40 years of serving the community we are no longer in business. Thank you for your support. May God bless you. Bye!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28556
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Michael
What am I gong to do? Uh....
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28557
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Michael
PSST! PSST!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28558
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Jim
Yeah... .you want me to come in your office? Oh.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28559
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Michael
Okay, oh okay, okay. Close your eyes.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28560
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Jim
I would prefer not to.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28561
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Michael
Just close your eyes. I'm going to start my own paper company.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28562
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Jim
You're starting your own paper company?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28563
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Michael
yeah!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28564
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Jim
Why?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28565
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Michael
Can you believe... cause I know paper. I know everything there is to know about paper.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28566
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Jim
Do you know the industry is in decline?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28567
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Michael
Yeah! Oh God. I practically invented decline.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28568
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Jim
Right.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28569
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Michael
Right, I know paper, I know how to manage. I have a name, close your eyes.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28570
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Jim
No, I did that before, it added nothing.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28571
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Michael
Close them.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28572
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Jim
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28573
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Michael
Alright, Michael Scott Paper Company. You want in? Do you want to be a part of this?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28574
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Jim
I am not gonna do this.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28575