Every line from The Office season 5, episode 19, in script order. First aired March 26, 2009.
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Michael
Obviously.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28576
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Jim
And you are not going to, either.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28577
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Michael
Oh, agreed, mmm, except...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28578
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Jim
Here's the thing. What I wish for you is that you land a job at a company that A, exists, and B, has a salary. Because they're set up to do that kind of thing.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28579
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Michael
Hey hey... what's up Chuck?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28580
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Charles Miner
Jim.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28581
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Jim
Hey.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28582
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Charles Miner
what are you doing?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28583
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Jim
Nothing, just talking.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28584
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Charles Miner
Okay, Michael handed in his 2-week notice, did you also hand in your 2-week?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28585
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Jim
I didn't... no.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28586
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Charles Miner
Okay. After you.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28587
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Michael
No I'm staying.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28588
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Charles Miner
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28589
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Dwight
Do you want me to translate the German instructions for you?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28590
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Pam
No, I'm sure they're pretty much the same as the English instructions.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28591
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Dwight
Typical American ignorance that got us involved in a war we never should have been in. World War II.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28592
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Pam
That's a really... well fine, Do the German instructions say what this is supposed to do?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28593
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Dwight
Deutsch... let me see here. That is either an incense dispenser, or a ceremonial sarcophagus.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28594
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Pam
Hmm...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28595
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Dwight
My German is pre-industrial and mostly religious.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28596
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Michael
Pam, listen. This order form. Instead of saying 'Dunder Mifflin' at the top is there any way I could get it to say something else?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28597
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Pam
Like Michael Scott Paper Company?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28598
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Michael
You... oh. Somebody has been talking in bed. Pillow talk.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28599
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Pam
Hmm... yeah. Listen Michael. Have you really thought this through? 'Cause it's a pretty big risk.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28600
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Michael
This is a dream that I have had since lunch, and I am not giving up on it now.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28601
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Pam
Yeah... you could give it up though right? And almost nobody would know.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28602
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Michael
Before you got here, I'm the one who landed all these clients. Half of them, at least. I can do it again. I know the market, I know the price points. I'm on it, don't worry. So, how do I do that?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28603
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Pam
Well, um, you can scan it, and then you can upload the image, and then you can copy the new image.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28604
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Michael
Can't I take some paper and just tape over it with transparent tape?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28605
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Pam
Yeah. Good.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28606
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Michael
Thank you very much.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28607
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Pam
Mmm-hmm
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28608
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Kelly
So that is why I have to leave at 5: 00 on Tuesday, it's to pick up my little sisters from school. We're really tight. We're like the Kardashians..
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28609
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Charles Miner
You know, you can run this stuff by Toby.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28610
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Kelly
Yeah I don't like talking...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28611
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Charles Miner
Come in...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28612
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Angela
I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were with anyone. I just wanted to bring you the brochure on that accounting seminar that I was telling you about. Earlier.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28613
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Kelly
Yep, we were in the middle of something so why don't you just...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28614
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Angela
Okay, um, actually you know it was so much fun last year. There was a Sunday-bar. I mean I didn't have any, you know, to stay trim.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28615
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Charles Miner
Did Michael just let anybody in his office?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28616
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Angela and Kelly
Yep! Yeah. He just loved having people, communicating all the time. He was like 'Come on in!'
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28617
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Charles Miner
I am aware of the effect I have on woman.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28618
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Kelly
So you should be heading back to your desk.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28619
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Angela
Okay. Bye Charles. Well you'll let me know. Good bye.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28620
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Kelly
She's such a special person. And she's turning 50 this year.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28621
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Michael
I'm starting my own paper company.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28622
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Andy
No way!?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28623
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28624
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Andy
In this climate?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28625
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Michael
Yeah. In all climates. It's going to be worldwide. And I'm looking for some talented salesmen to join me. That's where you come in.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28626
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Andy
Ehh... well it's a very intriguing concept, isn't it? Um... hmmm..Michael is starting his own paper company. What do you think about that?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28627
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Dwight
Your own paper company.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28628
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Michael
Can you believe it? Well, we'll see, we'll see. It's just a, just a nugget of an idea right now so
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28629
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Dwight
Right...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28630
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Michael
Potential, lots of potential. yes.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28631
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Dwight
What a courageous venture.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28632
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Michael
It's... it's very courageous, very exciting. Um...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28633
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Dwight
Location is hard for me, with the farm and the responsibilities...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28634
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Michael
That's what I was thinking, with the farm, so... You getting to wherever I'm gonna put my thing.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28635
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Dwight
Okay. So yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28636
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Michael
So think about it. Lets put a pin in it for now.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28637
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Dwight
You know, I would love to put a pin in that.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28638
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Pam
Everyone, can I have your attention. This is the moment you've all been waiting for. Right?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28639
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Meredith
Little Ms. Thing wants attention.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28640
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Pam
Meredith... Oh... so uh... G-44. It's not ready Kevin!
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28641
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Pam
I'm at a crucial point where I have sunk 4 hours into that copier, and I am not going to let it beat me like that wireless router did.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28642
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Oscar
[bites his sandwich and notices there is a note in it]
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28643
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Oscar
You put a note in my food?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28644
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Michael
I made it sterile.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28645
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Oscar
Just to say 'sterile' doesn't make it so.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28646
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Michael
I am offering you the opportunity of a lifetime, Oscar. To come work for me.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28647
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Oscar
Do you have a business plan? A funding request? Market research, financials?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28648
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Michael
No, no no.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28649
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Oscar
You need those things. Most new businesses, they don't make a profit till at least two years. And then your margins will be razor thin. Best case scenario, you don't cut yourself a salary for at least 5 years. Can you go 5 years without a salary, Michael?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28650
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Michael
Okay.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28651
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Oscar
Five years?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28652
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Michael
Okay, hey, you already have the job. You don't have to convince me.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28653
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Oscar
It's just not prudent Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28654
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Michael
Stanley?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28655
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Stanley
Can't you see I'm urinating?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28656
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Michael
Listen, Listen, Stanley. You don't have to answer me now.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28657
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Stanley
No.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28658
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Michael
Just... I want you to think about it, I'm starting my own company.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28659
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Stanley
No.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28660
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Michael
Oh-okay, you're not letting me finish, and you just lost out on a million dollars.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28661
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Stanley
No I didn't.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28662
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Michael
You know what. I had a great time at prom. And no one said 'Yes' to that either.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28663
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Pam
How's it working?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28664
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Phyllis
Um, let's see... it's fine.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28665
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Pam
Good.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28666
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Pam
I did it. I learned everything about this machine. I know all the buttons, even the inside ones. I know all the error messages. I could do a bound book, in plastic with offset colors. Which feels...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28667
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Charles Miner
Hey Hank, You ready?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28668
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Hank Doyle
Yeah.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28669
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Charles Miner
Okay, Michael?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28670
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Michael
Hmm?
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28671
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Charles Miner
I can't pretend I haven't seen that. So I am going e to ask you to stand up, walk out. And you can't take anything.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28672
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Michael
Okay, I have immunity. It's my two-weeks...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28673
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Charles Miner
not if you're starting your own paper company, Michael. Hank...
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28674
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Hank Doyle
Okay Michael.
Season 5 · Episode 19 · Line 28675