Every line from The Office season 4, episode 8, in script order. First aired November 15, 2007.
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Dwight
Wait a minute, Darryl is the client? ...No, no, no. He works here, dumbass.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20368
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Jim
...Right. Spin-serve!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20369
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Michael
How can you do that to me?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20370
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Jan
[looks at Lester]
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20371
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Lester
You can respond, just remember it's all going into the record.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20372
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Jan
Michael, I am not the enemy, OK? Dunder Mifflin is the enemy.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20373
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Michael
Dunder Mifflin has always treated me with the utmost respect, with loyalty. They were going to give me your job and I should have taken it.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20374
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Jan
Alright, wait. Before you go any further, let me show you what kind of loyalty they have, OK? Lester, please read that part of Wallace's deposition.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20375
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Lester
Starting at paragraph 6. Council: 'Mr. Wallace, regarding Michael Scott, was he a contender to replace Jan Levinson?' David Wallace: 'Yes.'
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20376
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Michael
See? I was his number 1 contender. I was being groomed.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20377
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Lester
Council: 'Was he your first choice?' David Wallace: 'Michael Scott is a fine employee who has been with the company for many years.'
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20378
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Council
Was he in the top 5 of contenders?' David Wallace: 'What do you want me to say? Come on, he's a nice guy. There were many people that I considered.' Council: 'Was he seriously being considered for the corporate job?' David Wallace: 'No.'
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20379
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Lester
I have one more question, Mr. Scott. Wouldn't you agree with Ms. Levinson that the company exhibits a pattern of disrespect toward its employees?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20380
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Michael
...Absolutely not.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20381
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Pam
Yes! Way to go. See that?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20382
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Kelly
Yeah, the floppy haired girl you date won a point.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20383
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Darryl
19, serving 4.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20384
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Kelly
Woooh! Nice baby! Nice one! Hey, hey, you, you! I don't like your boyfriend! Cuz, cuz, cuz, cuz, cuz he sucks at ping-pong!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20385
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Pam
You know what? I'm sick of this! Let's go, you and me!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20386
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Kelly
What?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20387
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Pam
Let's go. Pick up a paddle.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20388
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Kelly
OK. Bring it on.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20389
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Pam
I am.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20390
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Kelly
Think you can handle this?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20391
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Pam
In my sleep.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20392
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Kelly
OK. Volley for serve, P.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20393
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Pam
O. P.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20394
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Kelly
O.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20395
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Jim
Do you want to go play on the table upstairs?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20396
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Darryl
Yes.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20397
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David
Michael. I am very sorry.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20398
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Michael
Oh, hey no biggie. Just...
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20399
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David Wallace
No, no, no, no, no. This was rough. We never meant for you to get caught in the middle of this. I'm very sorry.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20400
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Michael
Hey, David?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20401
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David
Yeah?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20402
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Michael
I think you're a nice guy too.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20403
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David
Thanks, Michael.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20404
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Michael
Why did I do it? I don't know. Jan said that it was because of the photo that she revealed the diary. But she already brought the diary with her to New York, so... You expect to get screwed by your company, but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20405
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Michael
What do you want to do for dinner?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20406
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Jan
How about Chinese?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20407
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Michael
Sure trying to save some money... get something cheap.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20408
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Jan
That was my cheap suggestion. Chinese was my cheap suggestion.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20409
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Michael
Do you fast food?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20410
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Jan
Fine, fast food's fine.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20411
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Jim
So, where did you learn how to play?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20412
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Creed
Cambodia. You?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20413
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Jim
My friend's basement. All right, ready to start?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20414
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Creed
Let's do this thing.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20415
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Jim
What are you doing?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20416
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Creed
We're not playing strip pong? Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20417
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Oscar
I totally see that.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20418
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Jim
Right. There, first...
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20419
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Oscar
Yeah, yeah.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20420
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Jim
I think that's the question that you had...
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20421
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Pam
What are you doing?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20422
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Oscar
It's a problem with the client. I think, Jim...
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20423
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Pam
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Jim, come on, we gotta get in there and practice. Okay? I'm not kidding!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20424
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Jim
Wow.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20425
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Pam
Now. Get good work done. Concentrate.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20426
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Jim
All right.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20427
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Pam
On your backhand.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20428
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Stanley
Booyah!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20429
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Phyllis
Thought we were playing for fun.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20430
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Stanley
No one paid me to say 'Booyah.' Now pick up the ball.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20431
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Phyllis
But it's closer to you.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20432
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Stanley
Now it isn't.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20433
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Jim
What are you guys doing?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20434
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Phyllis
Oh, we're in a meeting.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20435
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Jim
Oh yeah, how long's this meeting going to last?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20436
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Angela
I have next meeting!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20437
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Andy
I played a lot of pong growing up. I spent a lot of time on cruise ships. I'm also a monster snorkler.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20438
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Andy
Okay, you know what, this table's not regulation.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20439
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Jim
Good eye - it's an oval. You're measuring the table.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20440
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Andy
Do you know anything about physics?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20441
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Jim
Do you?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20442
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Andy
Just serve. Let's go. Dammit! These balls are weighted weird, aren't they?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20443
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Jim
Yup.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20444
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Andy
Yeah. Get another one.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20445
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Jim
Now, wait a minute. You're not gonna punch a wall, or me, or anything like that if you don't win the point, are you?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20446
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Andy
I don't know! No, okay, just... serve!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20447
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Michael
I have some, uh, experience. I, um, once had to testify in a traffic accident case.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20448
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Man
Then you're an old hand at this.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20449
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Michael
Yes. My testimony was actually very important, um, because the accident was my fault. Tell Meredith I said it another time.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20450
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Jan
Yes, Michael is going to be cross-examined today, which'll be very, very risky for me, nonetheless, not an easy decision to make, but it's a deposition. It's not going to be in front of a judge. And it's four million dollars.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20451
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Michael
Before we continue, I would like to make an opening statement.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20452
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Man
Fine. Please be brief.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20453
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Michael
Ladies and gentlemen of... the... table. I would just like to say what a joy it is for me to be here today, but frankly, at my age, it's a joy to be anywhere. I'm only forty-four, so I'm not old, and I guess that doesn't really play. But the point is, I have a sense of humor. And I implore you all to have a sense of humor as well. Jan, David, my wonderful girlfriend, my gorgeous company... Why don't we all just take a big deep breath... and just relax. Good. That feels good. All right. Everybody feel better?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20454
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Diane Kelly
Two years ago, when you quote 'kissed and fondled in the Chili's parking lot', were you aware of company guidelines specifically discouraging that behavior?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20455
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Michael
Na, Na-oh, Naa-es.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20456
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Diane Kelly
Yeah, I'm sorry, that's not a word.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20457
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Michael
Ye-ohh. Ye-no.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20458
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Diane Kelly
Okay. Were you aware that when Jan was with you, she claimed to be visiting clients, or, uh, traveling to see her sister in Scottsdale?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20459
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Michael
Very nice!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20460
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Diane Kelly
I'm sorry. Excuse me?
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20461
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Michael
High five!
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20462
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Jan
Sometimes when he gets nervous he, uh, talks like Borat.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20463
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Diane Kelly
Okay, Mr. Scott, would you mind, um, speaking in your normal voice for us. Please.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20464
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Michael
Can't stop.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20465
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Diane Kelly
Okay.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20466
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Michael
Forgot normal talk.
Season 4 · Episode 8 · Line 20467