Every line from The Office season 3, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 19, 2006.
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Pam
Do you...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10801
-
Jim
Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10802
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Pam
Uh, no, I um. Everything's pretty much the same here.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10803
-
Jim
Oh, good.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10804
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Pam
A little different. What time is it there?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10805
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Jim
What time is it here? Um, we're in the same time zone.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10806
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Pam
Oh, yeah. Right.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10807
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Jim
How far away did you think we were?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10808
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Pam
I don't know. It felt far.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10809
-
Jim
Yeah. I have a question for you.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10810
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Pam
What?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10811
-
Jim
How many words per minute does the average person type?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10812
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Pam
I type 90.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10813
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Jim
Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn't even type 90.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10814
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Pam
It's true.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10815
-
Jim
Ok, I said average.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10816
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Pam
70? How many do you type?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10817
-
Jim
Forget it. I was just about to brag but forget it.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10818
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Pam
Come on. Tell me.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10819
-
Jim
No.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10820
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Pam
You have to tell me now.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10821
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Jim
65. Ok, no need to laugh.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10822
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Pam
No, it's, that's respectable.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10823
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Jim
Respectable?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10824
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Pam
So ok. I'm watching the movie, by myself...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10825
-
Jim
Right.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10826
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Pam
Because I just wanted a relaxing evening at home...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10827
-
Jim
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10828
-
Pam
And, I'm freaking out.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10829
-
Jim
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10830
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Pam
That movie is so scary!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10831
-
Jim
I know!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10832
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Pam
But I'm holding on because I keep waiting for Sandra Bullock to show up.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10833
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Jim
No way. How do you confuse 28 Days with 28 Days Later?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10834
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Pam
Because I got it at Blockbuster and they don't put the pictures on the box.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10835
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Jim
No, you're making this up!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10836
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Pam
Would I make that up?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10837
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Jim
Yes. Fancy New Beesley would make that up. New apartment, new stories.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10838
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Pam
Oh, yeah, in my fancy new apartment. I have one bedroom, one bathroom, and a closet.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10839
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Jim
And how many kitchens?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10840
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Pam
I have one kitchen.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10841
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Jim
Wow, you got totally taken for a ride Beesley.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10842
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Pam
It's actually...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10843
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Jim
Most apartments these days have like three.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10844
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Pam
Three kitchens?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10845
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Jim
Yes! How are you going to cook every meal of the day in one kitchen?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10846
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Pam
Hey, Ryan, are you ok?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10847
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Jim
Pam?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10848
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Ryan
Yeah. Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10849
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Jim
Pam?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10850
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Pam
Um. Ok, bye.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10851
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Jim
Oh, yeah, I should, I should, I should probably go too.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10852
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Pam
No, I was um...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10853
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Jim
Oh, no no.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10854
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Pam
You have to go?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10855
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Jim
Yeah, uh, well.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10856
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Pam
No, I should probably go too.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10857
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Jim
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10858
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Pam
I mean, yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10859
-
Jim
Yeah. Bye Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10860
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Pam
Bye Jim.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10861
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Stanley
Three hundred and sixty four days, 'till the next Pretzel Day.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10862
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Jan
What I want, Michael, is an hour-by-hour log of how you spend your work time.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10863
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Michael
Well, that's really not the way I roll, because sometimes I'm in the zone, and sometimes I'm in the zoning out.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10864
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Jan
Zoning out?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10865
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Michael
Do you want me to go on Amazon and order you a slang dictionary? Cause I'll do it.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10866
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Jan
If you can account for your time...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10867
-
Michael
Yes, big if.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10868
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Jan
...then maybe corporate can justify your salary.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10869
-
Michael
A woman spurned.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10870
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Pam
It's like mommy and daddy are fighting. Except mommy outranks daddy and mommy is way scarier.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10871
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Dwight
Take a good look at this boy...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10872
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Michael
I always do.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10873
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Dwight
...because you are never going to see him again.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10874
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Michael
If you lay a finger...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10875
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Dwight
Today is Ryan's first sales call and I am bringing this boy home a full-grown man.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10876
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Michael
Would you look at that? Damn it, Dwight! Come on.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10877
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Pam
Dwight is taking Ryan on a sales call today. So if we find Ryan's body in a heavily-wooded area tomorrow, I owe Jim $30. It's an old bet, but a deal's a deal.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10878
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Dwight
I once saw a movie called 'Training Day'. It starred an African-American and Ethan Hawke. In it, the African-American trains Ethan Hawke with various tests and trials. Today, Ryan is Ethan Hawke, and I am the African-American.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10879
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Dwight
Get in the car.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10880
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Ryan
I don't have a key.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10881
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Dwight
Don't you realize the key is inside you?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10882
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Ryan
He's the top salesman at the company. He's the top salesman at the company. He's the top salesman at the company. Today's gonna be great.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10883
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Dwight
No, but seriously, your ears are the key. 90% of a good sales call is listening, only 10% is talking.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10884
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Ryan
Huh.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10885
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Dwight
Get in the car. Get... get in the car.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10886
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Dwight
Sales is not all in here. It's also in here.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10887
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Ryan
What was that first thing you did?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10888
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Dwight
You know, selling, typing, dialing.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10889
-
Ryan
Oh.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10890
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Dwight
What is that in your ear? A tiny beet seed. You need to clean your ears better.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10891
-
Ryan
It's going okay. I've already learned more about beet agriculture than I ever thought I'd know.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10892
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Michael
9:00 to 10:00, checked in with receptionist. Met with Jan, RE: log. Lost log. Found log.' '10:00 to 11:00, light salad, three points.' That's on the wrong page.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10893
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Pam
Hey, let's focus today. Make today all about focus. I'll help you.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10894
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Michael
Okay. That sounds good. Yes. Actually, today's a good day to do that.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10895
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10896
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Ryan
You know, every time I think I hit rock bottom at my job, the floor opens up, like at a carnival ride. I'm gonna retrace my steps. College, four-year degree, student loans, business school, alone in a beet field. I... there's a step missing. 'Hey, mom.' 'Hey, Ryan. How's that five-year plan coming?' 'Oh, it's great. Today, I knelt down in cow manure and I got abandoned in a beet field.' 'Oh, that's cool.' 'Yeah, that's really cool. I'm learning a lot. I'm really glad I took this full-time job.'
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10897
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Dwight
Sales is about people, Ryan. About understanding them and learning how to get along with them. Case study: me. To understand me, you have to know that I work in the city, but I live here on this small, beautiful farm. It's a family farm. Many Schrutes were born here and many of us end up here. My grandfather was a good man who did some very bad things. What the... Damn it! Those kids! You! You, get out of here! This is not a cheap motel! This is a farm and cemetery! Freaks! You're lucky I don't have my crossbow! Let me show you the compost pile.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10898
-
Kevin
Shoot.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10899
-
Stanley
There's four things that I love. My wife, my daughters, Pam Grier, and a hot, chewy roll of buttered dough.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10900