Every quote from The Office season 3, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 19, 2006.
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Dwight
It is time for your next test. You have planted the beet seed. You have walked the long lonely walk of loneliness.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10701
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Ryan
Look man, I was in a frat in college. So I know what you're doing. I get it.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10702
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Dwight
You know what your problem is? You know why you haven't made any sales? Cause you think you know everything. You have to trust that maybe there are other people that can teach you things. Are you ready to learn? Are you ready for the final test?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10703
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Ryan
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10704
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Dwight
Come on!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10705
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Stanley
Thank you!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10706
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Michael
Hi. Please tell me that you have a sweet pretzel left.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10707
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Pretzel guy
We do.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10708
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Michael
Thank God.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10709
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Pretzel guy
And we have 18 different toppings. We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, chocolate, white chocolate, fudge, M&M's, caramel dip, mint chip, chocolate chip, marshmallow, nuts, toffee nuts, coconuts, peanut butter drizzle, Oreos, sprinkles, cotton candy bits, and powdered sugar.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10710
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Michael
Is there anyway that you could do all, all of them?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10711
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Pretzel guy
The Works. You got it.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10712
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Michael
All right! Thank you!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10713
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Dwight
Please be seated.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10714
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Ryan
Who was that?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10715
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Dwight
Pay no attention to the spirits that haunt this hallowed ground.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10716
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Ryan
Is that your Cousin Mose?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10717
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Dwight
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10718
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Dwight
Mose is my cousin and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today in which case, I won't hang out with Mose so much anymore.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10719
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Dwight
What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10720
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Ryan
Outsourcing and consolidation of competition.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10721
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Dwight
Wrong. Flash floods. What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin's suicide?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10722
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Ryan
Depression?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10723
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Dwight
Wrong. He hated himself. What is the DHARMA initiative?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10724
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Kelly
I can't believe that Ryan is not back yet. Where could they be?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10725
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Angela
Sales take a long time.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10726
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Kelly
Oh my God, I'm so worried.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10727
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Angela
I'm sure Dwight will protect him.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10728
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Kelly
I don't know. Dwight's so weird.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10729
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Angela
He's not weird, he's just individualistic.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10730
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Kelly
No, he's a freak.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10731
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Angela
You're a freak!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10732
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Dwight
Final question, young Ryan Howard. What is Michael Scott's greatest fear?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10733
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Ryan
Um, loneliness. Maybe women.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10734
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Dwight
Wrong. He's not afraid of anything. Also, I would have accepted snakes. Fear is what it's all about. You cannot sell while undergoing fear. You need to vanquish fear! One must wrestle fear to the ground. You will now wrestle my cousin Mose.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10735
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Ryan
No. Ok. All right. All right. It's over. This is over. OK.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10736
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Dwight
Wrestle him to the ground.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10737
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Ryan
No, you're a freak. I'm not doing this anymore. This is over. Goodbye.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10738
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Dwight
Ryan. Don't. Ryan! You don't have to wrestle him. Just get in the coffin. Ryan?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10739
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Cousin Mose
Bye, Ryan. He seemed nice.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10740
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Dwight
Where are all the animals?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10741
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Dwight
Ryan, come on. I am sorry. I am sorry. Mose is sorry too. Look, he sent over a basket with eggs and some fat back bacon. And look, something he whittled.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10742
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Dwight
You still mad? It's just Jim and I didn't get along, and I didn't want it to be that way again. You know, I wanted us to be a team. An unstoppable team that competed against other teams.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10743
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Ryan
Look, that, that's not what I wanted, ok. I just wanted to go on a sales call.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10744
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Dwight
Screwgun. The sales call!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10745
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Kevin
Hey! Hey!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10746
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Michael
Mr. Kosseli. Hey hey hey, the Cos. What's going on? Do we have a deal? Deal or no deal? Let's make a deal. So what is the deal?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10747
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Dwight
Establish time frames. Keep the phrase 'real dollars' in their head. And always keep the power in the conversation. That's why you're losing them on the cold calls. Cause you say the word please too much.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10748
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Ryan
Wait, can you go back?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10749
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Dwight
Michael always said, K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10750
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Ryan
Ok, I'm going to establish time frames.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10751
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Dwight
Good.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10752
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Ryan
I'm going to put everything in terms of 'real dollars'.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10753
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Dwight
Right.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10754
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Ryan
I'm going to ask a lot of questions that all have sort of positive answers.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10755
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Dwight
Uh huh.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10756
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Ryan
Saying, that would be better, or we would like that. That sort of thing.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10757
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Dwight
Exactly. Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10758
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Ryan
I'm going to try to be confident, but not cocky.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10759
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Michael
Oh! Hey! Everyone, I am officially streamlining the efficiency of this corporation. Second...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10760
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Toby
Second?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10761
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Michael
Yes, second, Toby. Second, I am insisting on increased accountability from every single one of you.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10762
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Kevin
Account...? Michael, what is going on?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10763
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Michael
And I will be taking questions.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10764
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Pam
Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10765
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Phyllis
What's on your suit?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10766
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Michael
Carmel Dip. But, one question at a time please. Phyllis, Stanley. I want you to switch desks, I'm going to reorganize and restructure the physical layout of the office to maximize everything! I think we're getting a lot done, don't you? On paper at least. And we are, after all, a paper company. Are we not, are we not, are we not? Are you with me, are you with me? Thank you very much!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10767
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Ryan
They really didn't like me.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10768
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Dwight
They did not. They didn't have to say it to your face.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10769
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Ryan
I don't get it. I don't get what I did wrong.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10770
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Dwight
Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail. It's those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They're going to be screwed once this whole internet fad is over. What are you doing? Oh no no no no! Ryan! Yes! Ryan the temp! Come on! Courtesy of Dunder Mifflin. Come on! Drive.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10771
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Ryan
You drive.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10772
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh, hi Jan. He's, uh, on a sales call. No message? Bye, Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10773
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Dwight
Temp! Temp! Temp! Temp! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Yes! Just think, that temp agency could have sent you anywhere.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10774
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Ryan
I think about that all the time.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10775
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Kevin
Night, Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10776
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Pam
Night.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10777
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Michael
Hey, what time is it?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10778
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Pam
20 past 5.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10779
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Michael
AM or PM?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10780
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Pam
PM.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10781
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Michael
Oh, good.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10782
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Pam
These came for you. Contracts? Brent Koselli?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10783
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Michael
Oh. Koselli. With the Jello.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10784
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Pam
This is a huge sale.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10785
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Michael
Yes. Right. Good.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10786
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Pam
Night, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10787
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Michael
Goodnight!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10788
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10789
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Jim
Ah, hey.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10790
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Pam
Oh my God.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10791
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Jim
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10792
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Pam
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10793
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Jim
Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension. It's a fantasy football thing.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10794
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Pam
Oh.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10795
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Jim
And I was just going to go through the system cause I didn't think you'd be there. Why, why are you still there?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10796
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Pam
I had to work late. Jan's making me keep a log of everything Michael does all day.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10797
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Jim
Wow. Do you think you could send me a copy of that?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10798
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Pam
Yeah, totally. So...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10799
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Jim
So...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Quote 10800