Every line from The Office season 3, episode 5, in script order. First aired October 19, 2006.
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Dwight
It is time for your next test. You have planted the beet seed. You have walked the long lonely walk of loneliness.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10701
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Ryan
Look man, I was in a frat in college. So I know what you're doing. I get it.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10702
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Dwight
You know what your problem is? You know why you haven't made any sales? Cause you think you know everything. You have to trust that maybe there are other people that can teach you things. Are you ready to learn? Are you ready for the final test?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10703
-
Ryan
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10704
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Dwight
Come on!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10705
-
Stanley
Thank you!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10706
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Michael
Hi. Please tell me that you have a sweet pretzel left.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10707
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Pretzel guy
We do.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10708
-
Michael
Thank God.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10709
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Pretzel guy
And we have 18 different toppings. We have sweet glaze, cinnamon sugar, chocolate, white chocolate, fudge, M&M's, caramel dip, mint chip, chocolate chip, marshmallow, nuts, toffee nuts, coconuts, peanut butter drizzle, Oreos, sprinkles, cotton candy bits, and powdered sugar.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10710
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Michael
Is there anyway that you could do all, all of them?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10711
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Pretzel guy
The Works. You got it.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10712
-
Michael
All right! Thank you!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10713
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Dwight
Please be seated.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10714
-
Ryan
Who was that?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10715
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Dwight
Pay no attention to the spirits that haunt this hallowed ground.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10716
-
Ryan
Is that your Cousin Mose?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10717
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Dwight
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10718
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Dwight
Mose is my cousin and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today in which case, I won't hang out with Mose so much anymore.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10719
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Dwight
What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10720
-
Ryan
Outsourcing and consolidation of competition.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10721
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Dwight
Wrong. Flash floods. What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin's suicide?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10722
-
Ryan
Depression?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10723
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Dwight
Wrong. He hated himself. What is the DHARMA initiative?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10724
-
Kelly
I can't believe that Ryan is not back yet. Where could they be?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10725
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Angela
Sales take a long time.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10726
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Kelly
Oh my God, I'm so worried.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10727
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Angela
I'm sure Dwight will protect him.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10728
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Kelly
I don't know. Dwight's so weird.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10729
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Angela
He's not weird, he's just individualistic.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10730
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Kelly
No, he's a freak.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10731
-
Angela
You're a freak!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10732
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Dwight
Final question, young Ryan Howard. What is Michael Scott's greatest fear?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10733
-
Ryan
Um, loneliness. Maybe women.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10734
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Dwight
Wrong. He's not afraid of anything. Also, I would have accepted snakes. Fear is what it's all about. You cannot sell while undergoing fear. You need to vanquish fear! One must wrestle fear to the ground. You will now wrestle my cousin Mose.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10735
-
Ryan
No. Ok. All right. All right. It's over. This is over. OK.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10736
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Dwight
Wrestle him to the ground.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10737
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Ryan
No, you're a freak. I'm not doing this anymore. This is over. Goodbye.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10738
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Dwight
Ryan. Don't. Ryan! You don't have to wrestle him. Just get in the coffin. Ryan?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10739
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Cousin Mose
Bye, Ryan. He seemed nice.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10740
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Dwight
Where are all the animals?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10741
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Dwight
Ryan, come on. I am sorry. I am sorry. Mose is sorry too. Look, he sent over a basket with eggs and some fat back bacon. And look, something he whittled.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10742
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Dwight
You still mad? It's just Jim and I didn't get along, and I didn't want it to be that way again. You know, I wanted us to be a team. An unstoppable team that competed against other teams.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10743
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Ryan
Look, that, that's not what I wanted, ok. I just wanted to go on a sales call.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10744
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Dwight
Screwgun. The sales call!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10745
-
Kevin
Hey! Hey!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10746
-
Michael
Mr. Kosseli. Hey hey hey, the Cos. What's going on? Do we have a deal? Deal or no deal? Let's make a deal. So what is the deal?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10747
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Dwight
Establish time frames. Keep the phrase 'real dollars' in their head. And always keep the power in the conversation. That's why you're losing them on the cold calls. Cause you say the word please too much.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10748
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Ryan
Wait, can you go back?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10749
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Dwight
Michael always said, K.I.S.S. Keep it simple, stupid. Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10750
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Ryan
Ok, I'm going to establish time frames.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10751
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Dwight
Good.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10752
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Ryan
I'm going to put everything in terms of 'real dollars'.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10753
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Dwight
Right.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10754
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Ryan
I'm going to ask a lot of questions that all have sort of positive answers.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10755
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Dwight
Uh huh.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10756
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Ryan
Saying, that would be better, or we would like that. That sort of thing.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10757
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Dwight
Exactly. Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10758
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Ryan
I'm going to try to be confident, but not cocky.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10759
-
Michael
Oh! Hey! Everyone, I am officially streamlining the efficiency of this corporation. Second...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10760
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Toby
Second?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10761
-
Michael
Yes, second, Toby. Second, I am insisting on increased accountability from every single one of you.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10762
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Kevin
Account...? Michael, what is going on?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10763
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Michael
And I will be taking questions.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10764
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Pam
Did you have a lot of sugar today, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10765
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Phyllis
What's on your suit?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10766
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Michael
Carmel Dip. But, one question at a time please. Phyllis, Stanley. I want you to switch desks, I'm going to reorganize and restructure the physical layout of the office to maximize everything! I think we're getting a lot done, don't you? On paper at least. And we are, after all, a paper company. Are we not, are we not, are we not? Are you with me, are you with me? Thank you very much!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10767
-
Ryan
They really didn't like me.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10768
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Dwight
They did not. They didn't have to say it to your face.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10769
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Ryan
I don't get it. I don't get what I did wrong.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10770
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Dwight
Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail. It's those online paper jerks. The whole business is changing. You know what? They're going to be screwed once this whole internet fad is over. What are you doing? Oh no no no no! Ryan! Yes! Ryan the temp! Come on! Courtesy of Dunder Mifflin. Come on! Drive.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10771
-
Ryan
You drive.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10772
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. Oh, hi Jan. He's, uh, on a sales call. No message? Bye, Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10773
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Dwight
Temp! Temp! Temp! Temp! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Yes! Just think, that temp agency could have sent you anywhere.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10774
-
Ryan
I think about that all the time.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10775
-
Kevin
Night, Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10776
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Pam
Night.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10777
-
Michael
Hey, what time is it?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10778
-
Pam
20 past 5.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10779
-
Michael
AM or PM?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10780
-
Pam
PM.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10781
-
Michael
Oh, good.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10782
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Pam
These came for you. Contracts? Brent Koselli?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10783
-
Michael
Oh. Koselli. With the Jello.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10784
-
Pam
This is a huge sale.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10785
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Michael
Yes. Right. Good.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10786
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Pam
Night, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10787
-
Michael
Goodnight!
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10788
-
Pam
Dunder Mifflin.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10789
-
Jim
Ah, hey.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10790
-
Pam
Oh my God.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10791
-
Jim
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10792
-
Pam
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10793
-
Jim
Sorry, I forgot Kevin's extension. It's a fantasy football thing.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10794
-
Pam
Oh.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10795
-
Jim
And I was just going to go through the system cause I didn't think you'd be there. Why, why are you still there?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10796
-
Pam
I had to work late. Jan's making me keep a log of everything Michael does all day.
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10797
-
Jim
Wow. Do you think you could send me a copy of that?
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10798
-
Pam
Yeah, totally. So...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10799
-
Jim
So...
Season 3 · Episode 5 · Line 10800