Every line from The Office season 3, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 28, 2006.
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Josh
Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9762
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Jan
Okay!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9763
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Michael
Jan? Look, I think we need to set some ground rules.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9764
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Jan
What are you talking about?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9765
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Michael
The eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room. Carol. I'm still dating her, so nothing can happen between us at the convention.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9766
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Jan
Step away from me, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9767
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Michael
Thank you for being so brave with all of this. Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9768
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Kelly
Alan's cartoon is so funny, right?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9769
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Pam
Mm-hmm.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9770
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Kelly
And they're, like, so smart. I don't even know what they mean half the time.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9771
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Dwight
This party is going to be awesome.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9772
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Michael
I know! That is specifically why I chose a room close to the elevator. More foot traffic.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9773
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Dwight
Check it out.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9774
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Michael
That is crooked on that side.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9775
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Dwight
Wow.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9776
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Michael
Hey hey!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9777
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Jim
That is a lot of liquor.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9778
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Michael
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9779
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Jim
And a dart board.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9780
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Michael
Well, that's how we do it in Scranton. Or did you forget? There ain't no party like a Scranton party, 'cause a Scranton party don't stop.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9781
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Josh
We should probably head on down and hook up with Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9782
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Michael
Hey, well, we have time! One for the road, gentlemen?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9783
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Josh
A shot of MIDORI, perhaps.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9784
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Jim
Oh, no, sorry, it's an inside joke. There's this bartender at Stamford who, uh... you know what? You'd just have to be there.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9785
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Michael
Wish I was. I love inside jokes. I'd love to be a part of one someday.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9786
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Josh
Um, we should...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9787
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9788
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Michael
All right, see you guys down there. Change your mind, come back up.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9789
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Dwight
I'll do a shot, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9790
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Michael
Ugh, that would be gross. It's not even lunch yet.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9791
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Michael
SWAG! Stuff we all get. I basically decorated my condo for free with all of my SWAG.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9792
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Michael
Check it out. Hi, I'm Michael Scott, Dunder-Mifflin.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9793
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Dwight
Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager, Dunder-Mifflin.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9794
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Jerome Bettis
All right.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9795
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Dwight
I'm a huge fan.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9796
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Jerome Bettis
Thanks. I appreciate it, guys.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9797
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Michael
You know what? I'm having a huge blowout tonight, Room 308. Hope you can come.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9798
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Jerome Bettis
All right, maybe. If I can.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9799
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Michael
Well, cool! Okay, so... can I tell people you're gonna be there?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9800
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Jerome Bettis
No, you cannot.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9801
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Michael
So maybe. See ya.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9802
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Dwight
Why do they call him The Bus?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9803
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Michael
Because he's afraid to fly.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9804
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Dwight
Smile!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9805
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Michael
Do you remember me from last year? There's a party in my room, 308, can't miss it, right off the elevator. Tonight. Be there!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9806
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Josh
All right, Jan just emailed me. She wants us to meet her up front.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9807
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Michael
Yep. Yeah, she's up front.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9808
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Dwight
You don't have email on your phone.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9809
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Michael
I don't have to, I just know. Yes, hello?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9810
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Dwight
No one just called you.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9811
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Josh
All right.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9812
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Jim
All right, nice meeting you, Ted. Take care.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9813
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Ted
I'll see you soon.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9814
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Josh
Yeah, stop by later.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9815
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Michael
See you in a bit. Bye-bye. May I have a moment of your time please?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9816
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Michael
I need you to do something for me.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9817
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Dwight
Yes. Anything.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9818
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Michael
I want you to dig up some dirt on Josh. Find out if there are any skeletons in his attic.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9819
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Dwight
I'll talk to my buddy down at the station, stat.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9820
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Toby
Hey, Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9821
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Pam
Hey! What's up?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9822
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Toby
It's, uh... I was... might ask if you wanted...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9823
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Pam
Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam. He's not in the office. Can I take a message? I will. You too. Sorry. What's up?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9824
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Toby
Um, if, uh... um... I just completely forgot what I was going to say. It's so weird.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9825
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Pam
Okay. Well, if you think of it, I'll be here.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9826
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Toby
Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9827
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Dwight
So I called my buddy down at the station today. Had them run a background check on Josh Porter. See if there's any known aliases, et cetera.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9828
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Michael
And?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9829
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Dwight
He wasn't volunteering today.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9830
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Michael
Business has been pretty crazy around the office.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9831
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Jim
Oh yeah?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9832
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Michael
Yeah. Moved Ryan over to your desk.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9833
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Jim
Oh, tell him I say hi.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9834
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Michael
I will call him later with that message.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9835
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Jim
Hey, how is... Toby?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9836
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Michael
Toby Flenderson is everything that is wrong with the paper industry. Is he why you left?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9837
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Jim
Oh, no, it was... you know, a good opportunity for me, a promotion. I got a chance to...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9838
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Michael
Opportunity, promotion, blah, blah. You know, Jim, those are just words. Have you taken into account other factors, vis-a-vis bosses? Is Josh funnier than I am? Does he even have a girlfriend? Because I have two, basically.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9839
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Jim
Michael, it's really not a competition.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9840
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Josh
Jim got us a great lead with a new rep from National Envelope. We can grab lunch with them tomorrow.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9841
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Jan
Great!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9842
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Michael
Hey, Jan, Jan? Don't worry, I have got the tip.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9843
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Dwight
Whoa. Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9844
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Waiter
Wow, oh my God, thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9845
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Michael
You're welcome.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9846
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Dwight
Was that your per diem?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9847
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Michael
No, that was a different hundred dollar bill.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9848
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Jan
What have you generated, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9849
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Michael
I have generated a lot of interest in my party this evening.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9850
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Jan
What party?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9851
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Michael
The party I'm having tonight in 308. Obviously, you are invited.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9852
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Jan
Michael, um... Jim and Josh are in meetings all day. And I am in and out of meetings. I can't stay on top of you 24/7.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9853
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Phyllis
You should order the most expensive thing on the menu, so he knows you're worth it.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9854
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Stanley
If you do that, you're going to have to put out.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9855
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Phyllis
Oh, yeah. You'll have to put out.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9856
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Angela
Is there a key for Jane Doe? Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9857
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Michael
Any messages for 308? All right.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9858
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Michael
Hey hey, fellers.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9859
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Jim
Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9860
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Dwight
Hey, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9861