Every quote from The Office season 3, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 28, 2006.
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Michael
Pam?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9662
-
Pam
Yeah?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9663
-
Michael
Did you see Oprah yesterday?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9664
-
Pam
No, I didn't.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9665
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Michael
I, uh... I am going to be a father.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9666
-
Pam
What was Oprah about?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9667
-
Michael
Angelina Jolie was on. And she adopted a baby from Asia, and she said that it changed her life. And that really inspired me. So, I want you to look into seeing how much a little Chinese baby would cost.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9668
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Pam
That's a really big decision.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9669
-
Michael
I know.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9670
-
Pam
Maybe you should wait before you adopt.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9671
-
Michael
Well...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9672
-
Pam
Or not adopt.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9673
-
Michael
Just do it, okay?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9674
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Pam
Roy's sister looked into it, and the application alone costs a thousand dollars.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9675
-
Michael
Um... find out if there's a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9676
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Pam
You know, she also said the waiting list is like eight months.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9677
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Michael
Eight months?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9678
-
Pam
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9679
-
Michael
I don't even know if I'll want a baby in eight months.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9680
-
Pam
You probably won't.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9681
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Michael
You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven't had a baby, and you haven't had a baby...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9682
-
Pam
No, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9683
-
Michael
Twenty years.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9684
-
Pam
No, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9685
-
Michael
Thirty.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9686
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Pam
Sure.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9687
-
Michael
It's a deal.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9688
-
Ryan
All right. Three pairs of pants. Three pairs of socks. Three packs of condoms.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9689
-
Michael
Yesh.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9690
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Ryan
Uh, fun jeans.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9691
-
Michael
Right there. Ah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9692
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Angela
Sign.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9693
-
Michael
Per diem.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9694
-
Michael
Guess where I am going. I will give you a hint. It is a booze-fueled sex romp, where anything goes. You are correct, sir! I am headed to Philadelphia for the Annual Northeastern Mid-Market Office Supply Convention. And Jim Halpert is going to be coming, which will be fun. Poor little guy. He's been stuck working under Josh, the poor man's Michael Scott, as he is known around my condo.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9695
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Dwight
Don't be mad, it is a business trip.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9696
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Angela
But I don't understand. It's for managers.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9697
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Dwight
Monkey, I am an A. R. M., Assistant Regional Manager.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9698
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Angela
I know! It... I was just really hoping we could spend some time together. Are you still there?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9699
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Dwight
Yes, Monkey.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9700
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Angela
Don't 'Monkey' me! You can't wait to get out of here, A. R. M.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9701
-
Angela
In the Martin family, we like to say, 'Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.' That's code for 'check out the slut.' What is... why are there flies in here?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9702
-
Kelly
Oh my God! Are you so excited for tonight? I am so excited. You guys are going to click, I can feel it. So what are you wearing?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9703
-
Pam
This.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9704
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Kelly
You look so pretty.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9705
-
Pam
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9706
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Pam
Yes, I have a date. He's a cartoonist for the local paper, which is really neat, because I like to draw too. I'm kind of nervous. I haven't been on a first date in nine years... probably shouldn't broadcast that.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9707
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Kelly
Well, remember, no matter how much you may want to, do not sleep with him on the first date. It gives him all the power.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9708
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Michael
Sleep with who? Whom, whom... whom?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9709
-
Kelly
My neighbor Alan. They're going on a date tonight.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9710
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Michael
Oh, wow! Oh my God, I have a great idea. You know what you should do to be hilarious? Wear your wedding dress. It would be a great icebreaker.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9711
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Dwight
And your veil.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9712
-
Michael
Yeah, do it!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9713
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Pam
I'll probably just wear this.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9714
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Michael
Really? Okay. Well, word of advice: unbutton that top button. Let those things breathe. Any message you want me to relate to Jim?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9715
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Pam
Um...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9716
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Michael
Um. Okay, um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9717
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Dwight
Um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9718
-
Michael
You got that?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9719
-
Dwight
I got it.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9720
-
Michael
Write it down.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9721
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Dwight
I got it.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9722
-
Dwight
Um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9723
-
Michael
Um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9724
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Dwight and Michael
Um, um, um...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9725
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Creed
There's my girl. I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9726
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Angela
That was for per diem, for Philadelphia.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9727
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Meredith
That town smells like cheese steaks.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9728
-
Angela
That town is full of history!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9729
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Creed
Andrea's the office bitch. You'll get used to her. Creed.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9730
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Dwight
Can I have my neck pillow back? Michael! Can I have my neck pillow back?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9731
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Josh
Hey, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9732
-
Michael
Hey, Josh, how ya doing?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9733
-
Josh
Pretty good.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9734
-
Michael
Good to see you. There he is! There's the traitor! Traitor! Traitor! Come here, you. Come here! Yeah! The product... the progidal... my son returns.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9735
-
Michael
I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. It's like the firemen. You don't leave your brothers behind, even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9736
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Jim
It's really good to see you, man.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9737
-
Michael
Yeah! Wow, I didn't expect that. It's good to see you too!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9738
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Dwight
Oh, hey, how's it going up there? Have you made any sales yet?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9739
-
Jim
Yeah, sold about forty thousand.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9740
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Michael
Hey!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9741
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Dwight
Shut up. That's impossible.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9742
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Jim
No, it's not. I did. Yep.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9743
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Dwight
Well, I did it too.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9744
-
Jim
You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9745
-
Kevin
So did you hear?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9746
-
Toby
What?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9747
-
Kevin
Pam's back on the market again.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9748
-
Toby
Really? She's dating?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9749
-
Kevin
If I weren't engaged, I would so hit that.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9750
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Dwight
So what kind of commissions you get up there?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9751
-
Jim
Oh, Dwight. I've missed you so much.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9752
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Dwight
You're so immature!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9753
-
Josh
Listen, Michael, I heard you were a great salesman.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9754
-
Michael
Ah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9755
-
Josh
And I just want to let you know that if our branch absorbs your branch, I'm going to look for a place for you at Stamford.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9756
-
Jan
Oh, hey!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9757
-
Dwight
Hey, Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9758
-
Jan
We all checked in?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9759
-
Josh
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9760
-
Jan
Great, let's dump our stuff and meet back here in half an hour.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Quote 9761