Every line from The Office season 3, episode 2, in script order. First aired September 28, 2006.
-
Michael
Pam?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9662
-
Pam
Yeah?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9663
-
Michael
Did you see Oprah yesterday?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9664
-
Pam
No, I didn't.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9665
-
Michael
I, uh... I am going to be a father.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9666
-
Pam
What was Oprah about?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9667
-
Michael
Angelina Jolie was on. And she adopted a baby from Asia, and she said that it changed her life. And that really inspired me. So, I want you to look into seeing how much a little Chinese baby would cost.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9668
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Pam
That's a really big decision.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9669
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Michael
I know.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9670
-
Pam
Maybe you should wait before you adopt.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9671
-
Michael
Well...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9672
-
Pam
Or not adopt.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9673
-
Michael
Just do it, okay?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9674
-
Pam
Roy's sister looked into it, and the application alone costs a thousand dollars.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9675
-
Michael
Um... find out if there's a cheaper, less expensive baby out there, okay?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9676
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Pam
You know, she also said the waiting list is like eight months.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9677
-
Michael
Eight months?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9678
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Pam
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9679
-
Michael
I don't even know if I'll want a baby in eight months.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9680
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Pam
You probably won't.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9681
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Michael
You know what, Pam? If in ten years, I haven't had a baby, and you haven't had a baby...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9682
-
Pam
No, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9683
-
Michael
Twenty years.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9684
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Pam
No, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9685
-
Michael
Thirty.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9686
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Pam
Sure.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9687
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Michael
It's a deal.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9688
-
Ryan
All right. Three pairs of pants. Three pairs of socks. Three packs of condoms.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9689
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Michael
Yesh.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9690
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Ryan
Uh, fun jeans.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9691
-
Michael
Right there. Ah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9692
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Angela
Sign.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9693
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Michael
Per diem.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9694
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Michael
Guess where I am going. I will give you a hint. It is a booze-fueled sex romp, where anything goes. You are correct, sir! I am headed to Philadelphia for the Annual Northeastern Mid-Market Office Supply Convention. And Jim Halpert is going to be coming, which will be fun. Poor little guy. He's been stuck working under Josh, the poor man's Michael Scott, as he is known around my condo.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9695
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Dwight
Don't be mad, it is a business trip.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9696
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Angela
But I don't understand. It's for managers.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9697
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Dwight
Monkey, I am an A. R. M., Assistant Regional Manager.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9698
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Angela
I know! It... I was just really hoping we could spend some time together. Are you still there?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9699
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Dwight
Yes, Monkey.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9700
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Angela
Don't 'Monkey' me! You can't wait to get out of here, A. R. M.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9701
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Angela
In the Martin family, we like to say, 'Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly.' That's code for 'check out the slut.' What is... why are there flies in here?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9702
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Kelly
Oh my God! Are you so excited for tonight? I am so excited. You guys are going to click, I can feel it. So what are you wearing?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9703
-
Pam
This.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9704
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Kelly
You look so pretty.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9705
-
Pam
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9706
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Pam
Yes, I have a date. He's a cartoonist for the local paper, which is really neat, because I like to draw too. I'm kind of nervous. I haven't been on a first date in nine years... probably shouldn't broadcast that.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9707
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Kelly
Well, remember, no matter how much you may want to, do not sleep with him on the first date. It gives him all the power.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9708
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Michael
Sleep with who? Whom, whom... whom?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9709
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Kelly
My neighbor Alan. They're going on a date tonight.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9710
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Michael
Oh, wow! Oh my God, I have a great idea. You know what you should do to be hilarious? Wear your wedding dress. It would be a great icebreaker.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9711
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Dwight
And your veil.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9712
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Michael
Yeah, do it!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9713
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Pam
I'll probably just wear this.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9714
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Michael
Really? Okay. Well, word of advice: unbutton that top button. Let those things breathe. Any message you want me to relate to Jim?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9715
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Pam
Um...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9716
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Michael
Um. Okay, um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9717
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Dwight
Um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9718
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Michael
You got that?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9719
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Dwight
I got it.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9720
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Michael
Write it down.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9721
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Dwight
I got it.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9722
-
Dwight
Um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9723
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Michael
Um.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9724
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Dwight and Michael
Um, um, um...
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9725
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Creed
There's my girl. I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9726
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Angela
That was for per diem, for Philadelphia.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9727
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Meredith
That town smells like cheese steaks.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9728
-
Angela
That town is full of history!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9729
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Creed
Andrea's the office bitch. You'll get used to her. Creed.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9730
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Dwight
Can I have my neck pillow back? Michael! Can I have my neck pillow back?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9731
-
Josh
Hey, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9732
-
Michael
Hey, Josh, how ya doing?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9733
-
Josh
Pretty good.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9734
-
Michael
Good to see you. There he is! There's the traitor! Traitor! Traitor! Come here, you. Come here! Yeah! The product... the progidal... my son returns.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9735
-
Michael
I was shocked when he told me he was transferring to Stamford. It's like the firemen. You don't leave your brothers behind, even if you find out that there is a better fire in Connecticut.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9736
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Jim
It's really good to see you, man.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9737
-
Michael
Yeah! Wow, I didn't expect that. It's good to see you too!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9738
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Dwight
Oh, hey, how's it going up there? Have you made any sales yet?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9739
-
Jim
Yeah, sold about forty thousand.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9740
-
Michael
Hey!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9741
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Dwight
Shut up. That's impossible.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9742
-
Jim
No, it's not. I did. Yep.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9743
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Dwight
Well, I did it too.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9744
-
Jim
You know, when I saw Dwight, I realized how stupid and petty all those pranks I pulled on him were. And then he spoke. I wonder how hard it would be to get a copy of his room key.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9745
-
Kevin
So did you hear?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9746
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Toby
What?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9747
-
Kevin
Pam's back on the market again.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9748
-
Toby
Really? She's dating?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9749
-
Kevin
If I weren't engaged, I would so hit that.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9750
-
Dwight
So what kind of commissions you get up there?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9751
-
Jim
Oh, Dwight. I've missed you so much.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9752
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Dwight
You're so immature!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9753
-
Josh
Listen, Michael, I heard you were a great salesman.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9754
-
Michael
Ah.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9755
-
Josh
And I just want to let you know that if our branch absorbs your branch, I'm going to look for a place for you at Stamford.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9756
-
Jan
Oh, hey!
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9757
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Dwight
Hey, Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9758
-
Jan
We all checked in?
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9759
-
Josh
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9760
-
Jan
Great, let's dump our stuff and meet back here in half an hour.
Season 3 · Episode 2 · Line 9761