Jim

Hey.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15740

Jim

Oh, what's this?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15741

Dwight

That is a demerit.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15742

Jim

'Jim Halpert, tardiness.' Ugh. I love it already.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15743

Dwight

You've gotta learn, Jim. You are second in command, but that does not put you above the law.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15744

Jim

Oh, I understand. And I also have lots of questions, like, what does a demerit mean?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15745

Dwight

Let's put it this way. You do not want to receive three of those.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15746

Jim

Lay it on me.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15747

Dwight

Three demerits and you'll receive a citation.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15748

Jim

Now that sounds serious.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15749

Dwight

Oh, it is serious. Five citations and you're looking at a violation. Four of those and you'll receive a verbal warning. Keep it up, and you're looking at a written warning. Two of those, that'll land you in a world of hurt... in the form of a disciplinary review written up by me and placed on the desk of my immediate superior.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15750

Jim

Which would be me.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15751

Dwight

That is correct.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15752

Jim

OK, I want a copy on my desk by the end of the day or you will receive a full disadulation.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15753

Dwight

What's a dis... what's that?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15754

Jim

Oh, you don't want to know.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15755

Pam

Hey, Phyllis. You all right?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15756

Phyllis

I think I just got flashed.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15757

Pam

What? Really?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15758

Phyllis

In the parking lot.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15759

Pam

Oh, my God.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15760

Dwight

Move!

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15761

Jim

OK, I'll call the

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15762

Andy

What happened? What can I do to help?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15763

Jim

OK.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15764

Andy

I'll check the web.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15765

Jim

Thank you. The police are on it. They say they've already had three calls.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15766

Pam

Can you tell us what happened?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15767

Phyllis

Um... I was walking to the building and this man asked me for directions. And he was holding a map. And when I walked over, he had it out... on the map.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15768

Angela

Phyllis. You're a married woman.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15769

Creed

The guy was just hanging brain. I mean, what's all the fuss?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15770

Creed

If that's flashing, then lock me up.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15771

Pam

It's just, like, so creepy.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15772

Ryan

Yeah.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15773

Michael

What's happening?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15774

Pam

Oh, some guy exposed himself to Phyllis in the parking lot.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15775

Michael

Really? Is she OK?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15776

Pam

Yeah, Bob Vance took her for a walk to calm down.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15777

Michael

OK. Phyllis, you say? Hmm.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15778

Angela

What is so funny?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15779

Michael

Um... I mean did he even see Pam? Or, uh... Karen from behind?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15780

Kevin

I'm guessing not.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15781

Michael

I'm sorry. It's pretty funny when you think about it.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15782

Jim

Mm... not really, no.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15783

Pam

It's disgusting and demeaning.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15784

Michael

Oh, OK. Masters of comedy. A guy dropped his pants. Have you ever been to the circus? OK. He's back! OK. Hmm. Waagh!

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15785

Toby

Hey, what's going on? There's a police car in the...

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15786

Michael

What? Oh.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15787

Toby

What's going on?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15788

Michael

Oh, Phyllis got flashed. It's, uh...

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15789

Toby

I don't think laughing about it is an appropriate response.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15790

Michael

Oh, come on. We are laughing at Phyllis, but she's not even here, so no harm, no foul.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15791

Toby

I don't think the women in this office -

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15792

Michael

Incidentally, where were you during all of this? Maybe you're the flasher.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15793

Toby

I was at a parent-teacher conference.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15794

Michael

Uh-huh. Prove it. Let's see your penis.I... you know, as that was coming out of my mouth, I knew that it was wrong.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15795

Michael

In all the excitement, I forgot that my primary goal is to keep people safe. Women can't have fun if they don't feel safe. For example, Jan and I have a safe word in case things go too far. Foliage. And if one of us says that word, the other one has to stop. Although last time... she pretended she didn't hear me.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15796

Jan

Michael, ...

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15797

Michael

Huh?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15798

Jan

...come over after work tonight, OK? I miss your body.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15799

Michael

I don't know. I feel... I drive a lot. I'm spending a fortune on gas and tolls -

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15800

Jan

I'll give you $200. And if I get up before you, I'll leave it on the dresser.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15801

Michael

Um, that... I don't know. That makes me kind of uncomfortable.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15802

Jan

$300?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15803

Michael

I... uh, well, I don't know.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15804

Jan

You know whatever. Just let my assistant know if you're coming over so he can get more vodka, OK? Hunter, are you on?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15805

Hunter

You got it, Jan.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15806

Dwight

Employees of this office are very small and delicate. Deserve protection from local pervs. Better 1,000 innocent men are locked up than one guilty man roam free.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15807

Michael

I am sick over this thing. Those people out there are clearly afraid. And that can't happen. Not in my house.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15808

Dwight

Agreed. Let me show you what I've been working on.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15809

Michael

OK.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15810

Dwight

There are several penises there I'd love Phyllis to run her eyes over. You know, see if we can catch this pervert.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15811

Michael

This is the last

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15812

Dwight

Look at that one.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15813

Michael

Dwight, are those your pants? That's a Polaroid.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15814

Michael

Attention, everybody. Dwight has something he would like to say.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15815

Dwight

Due to a recent incident involving Phyllis, a man, a map, and his penis - I think you know what I'm referring to - Michael has authorized me to form an emergency anti-flashing task force.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15816

Jim

Question. Won't that interfere with your other task forces?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15817

Dwight

Answer: No, because this is being given priority one. This is a petition for the business park to upgrade their security cameras as well as install two floodlights in the parking lot. And I know... I know what you're thinking. Won't that just shed more light on the penises? But that is a risk we have to take. Pam. You can draw, kind of. Why don't you work with Phallus on drawing a picture of the exposer that I can post around the community?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15818

Pam

Phallus?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15819

Dwight

Phyllis, sorry. I've got penises on the brain. Back to work, everybody.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15820

Pam

I don't often miss Roy. But I can tell you one thing. I wish someone had flashed me when I was with Roy. Because that would have been the ass-kicking of the year. Especially if it had been Jim. He would not have wanted me to have seen Jim's... Whoo, I am... I am saying a lot of things.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15821

Phyllis

I didn't really get a good look.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15822

Pam

That's OK. I don't feel like answering phones.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15823

Karen

Hey, did you guys see this memo that Dwight sent out? 'Women will be sent home if they wear makeup or heels exceeding 1/4 inch. Females are not allowed to speak to strangers unless given written authorization by Dwight Schrute.' This is ridiculous.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15824

Dwight

Attention. I am removing all bananas from the kitchen.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15825

Karen

Dwight, this memo that you distributed is insulting.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15826

Dwight

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15827

Pam

'Sleeves down to the wrists, buttoned-up collars, and muted colors.' Nobody dress like that.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15828

Michael

OK, you know something, Dwight? We are not the terrorists. Why don't you just take these women, put 'em in a burlap sack, and hit 'em with a stick? Because that's what you're doing. I celebrate these women. They deserve the right to dress as they please. If Pam wants to show more cleavage, she should be able to. I encourage that.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15829

Karen

Look, it's really simple. We just want you guys to treat us with respect.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15830

Michael

See? That's what we're talking about. Did you hear that, Dwight?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15831

Dwight

Yes. Did you hear that, Michael?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15832

Michael

No, Dwight. Respect. R-E-S-P-svee-T. Find out what it means to me. All right, you know what? That's it. Conference room, five minutes. Women's appreciation.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15833

Jim

Wait a second, how are you qualified for that?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15834

Michael

Oh, I don't know, James. Did I come from a woman? Have I slept with a woman? More than one?

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15835

Dwight

Mm, less than three.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15836

Michael

That is not current.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15837

Dwight

You know what? Why doesn't Oscar run the meeting? He's a homosexual.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15838

Jim

Why don't you run the meeting? You play with dolls.

Season 3 · Episode 21 · Line 15839

"Women's Appreciation" Quotes