Every line from The Office season 3, episode 19, in script order. First aired April 12, 2007.
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Michael
I don't know if I wanna do this.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15156
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Dwight
Do you wanna do another test? I got plenty of watermelons in my trunk!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15157
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Michael
No. No more. The tests are going terrible. If we keep doing it, we're not gonna want to jump. This is about doing, not thinking.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15158
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Dwight
That's right! Doing! Totally doing! It's rock n' roll!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15159
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Michael
Rock n' roll!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15160
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Dwight
Yeah!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15161
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Michael
That's right! I am not thinking.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15162
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Dwight
Near near near near near!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15163
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Michael
Yes! Yeah!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15164
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Dwight
Michael is awesome! Jumpin' off the roof!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15165
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Michael
Woo!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15166
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Dwight
Bouncin' on the bouncy bounce! Show 'em who's boss!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15167
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Michael
Woo!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15168
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Dwight
Rip a hole in the suuuuuuun!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15169
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Michael
I am ready to do this! I am ready to make a point!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15170
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Dwight
Guys! Listen up! Michael is up on the roof, and acting strange!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15171
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Andy
Whoa! What's the situation?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15172
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Dwight
Un-shun. I think he's suffering from depression. Re-shun.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15173
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Andy
Ok, when's the shunning thing gonna end?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15174
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Dwight
Un-shun. Never. Re-shun. I think he wants you all to come out to the parking lot and watch him die!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15175
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Stanley
Is it nice outside?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15176
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Dwight
It's gorgeous. Let's go!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15177
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Stanley
Do I need my jacket?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15178
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Dwight
No really, it's, it's very nice. Come on!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15179
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Ryan
Will I be too warm in a long sleeve T?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15180
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Dwight
Everybody's gonna be fine in exactly what they're wearing, let's go! Let's go!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15181
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Dwight
Come on, hurry up you guys!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15182
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Michael
My life! Oh, my life...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15183
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Dwight
Michael, what's wrong?!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15184
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Michael
Everything's wrong. The stress of my modern office, has caused me to go into a depression.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15185
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Dwight
Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15186
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Michael
Dwight, you ignorant slut. Depression is a very serious illness. Over 32 thousand people commit suicide every year! According to a 2004 study!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15187
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Dwight
Is that the last year the data was available?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15188
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Michael
Yes! My head is in such pain! And turmoil!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15189
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Dwight
Don't do anything rash!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15190
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Michael
Wait, where are the warehouse guys?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15191
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Dwight
I didn't... I didn't think you needed them for this part.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15192
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Michael
Okay... that's...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15193
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Dwight
you said to just...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15194
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Michael
That's the whole point, dummy.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15195
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Dwight
Okay, I'm on it!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15196
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Michael
Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15197
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Dwight
Attention blue collar workers!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15198
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Pam
What are the odds that this is in any way real?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15199
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Jim
I'd say like... 10,000 to 1?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15200
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Kevin
Okay, I'd like ten bucks on those odds.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15201
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Kevin
If someone gives you 10,000 to 1 on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15202
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Dwight
Michael's up on the roof and he's acting strange!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15203
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Michael
Oooooh, my life!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15204
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Dwight
Michael! What's wrong?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15205
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Michael
Everything is wrong, Dwight. The stress of my modern office, has made me depressed.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15206
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Dwight
Depressed? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15207
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Michael
Dwight, you ignorant slut.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15208
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Jim
Well, you know, the first performance was a little off. But I really think they hit their stride, in the second show. Um, might even bring my parents tomorrow, to the matinee.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15209
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Michael
And that is why, I am going to jump off this roof!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15210
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Jim
Oh, excuse me. It's my... favorite part.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15211
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Angela
This is just offensive.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15212
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Ryan
At least we're outside.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15213
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Creed
Hey, check it out, there's a... there's a castle over there.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15214
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Jim
Oh my God, there
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15215
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Dwight
No, there's nothing to see over there, people! There's nothing to see. ...They found the castle, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15216
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Michael
Damn it.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15217
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Pam
Oh... God. Oh my God, he's gonna jump.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15218
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Jim
Oh. He's going to kill himself, pretending to kill himself.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15219
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Pam
Yeah...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15220
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Jim
Hey uh, Michael. Don't jump on the bouncy castle. You can't do that, because you're going to get horribly, horribly injured.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15221
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Pam
Hey Michael! I have a present for you, but you have to come down and get it.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15222
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Michael
What is it?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15223
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Pam
Come down and... open it and you'll see.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15224
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Michael
Dwight, find out what the present is.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15225
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Dwight
Okay, uh... I don't see anything. She might be bluffing.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15226
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Jim
Dwight...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15227
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Pam
Dwight, what are you---
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15228
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Dwight
Oh... It's uh, a Repliee Q1 Expo female robot, they're only available in Japan.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15229
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Michael
Dwight, you are such a liar. Pam, really, what is it?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15230
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Darryl
Mike, this is the opposite of safety. You jump, you're gonna serious hurt yourself.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15231
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Michael
You told me, that I lead a... cushy, wimpy, Nerf life.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15232
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Darryl
Yeah, but I never said you had nothing to live for.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15233
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Michael
What do I have to live for?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15234
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Darryl
A lot... of things. Uh, you, uh... What about Jan? Lovely, lovely, lovely Jan, man. It's goin' good, right?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15235
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Michael
It's complicated with Jan. And I don't know where I stand, or what I want. The sex isn't nearly as good as it used to be.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15236
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Darryl
Mike, you're a very brave man. I mean, it takes courage just to
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15237
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Michael
Do you really mean that?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15238
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Darryl
I couldn't do it. I--- I ain't that strong. And I ain't that brave.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15239
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Michael
I'm braver than you?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15240
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Darryl
Way
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15241
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Michael
I Braveheart. I am.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15242
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Darryl
Come down, okay?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15243
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Michael
Okay. Pam, I'm coming down to get my present.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15244
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Michael
An office... is as safe as the people in it. And sometimes those people can drive you to do crazy things to show the dangers of the office. That's the danger I found myself in today. I saved a life. My own. Am I a hero? I really can't say. But, yes.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15245
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Andy
When people think of Andy, they think of hate and anger. When people think of Drew, they think of baked goods.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15246
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Kelly
Oh my God, these cookies have no flavor. How is that possible?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15247
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Kevin
They are the worst. Who's this Drew chick?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15248
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Phyllis
Drew isn't a girl... She's Andy.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15249
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Andy
Oh no, nobody likes my cookies. I'm so angry, argh I want to hit something. Totally kidin' guys.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15250
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Andy
Little device I learned to diffuse tension, be the first to make fun of yourself, because if they make fun of you before you do... Then you might lose your mind.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15251
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Kevin
[pours the last of the coffee into his mug]
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15252
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Andy
Ahhh... Is that the last of it?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15253
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Kevin
I'm sorry.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15254
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Andy
It's OK. I can't always have what I want, but I can always want what I have.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15255