Every line from The Office season 3, episode 19, in script order. First aired April 12, 2007.
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Andy
Good morning, Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14956
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Pam
Oh, welcome back, Andy.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14957
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Andy
Drew. I'm Drew now.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14958
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Pam
Oh. Drew. Sorry.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14959
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Andy
Apology not... accepted. Because it wasn't even necessary in the first place.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14960
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Andy
Several weeks ago, Andy Bernard had an incident. But after five weeks in Anger Management, I'm back. And I've got a new attitude. And a new name. And... a bunch of new techniques for dealing with the grumpies.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14961
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Andy
Mornin' Jim.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14962
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Jim
Hey, Andy. How are you, man?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14963
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Andy
Good. Drew.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14964
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Jim
What's that?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14965
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Andy
Dr--- You can call me Drew.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14966
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Jim
No, I'm not gonna call you that.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14967
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Andy
Cool. I can't control what you do. I can only control what
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14968
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Jim
Andy.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14969
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Andy
Drew. Dwight. How's it goin' man?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14970
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Dwight
Yes, I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence. I was shunned from the age of four until my sixth birthday... for not saving the excess oil from a can of tuna.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14971
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Dwight
Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14972
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Jim
Andy, Dwight says welcome back, and he could use a hug.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14973
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Dwight
Ok, tell him that's not true.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14974
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Jim
Dwight says that he actually doesn't know one single fact about bear attacks.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14975
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Andy
You guys...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14976
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Dwight
Ok, no. Jim, tell him that bears can climb faster than they can run. Jim! Tell him!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14977
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Jim
Andy! Nah, that's too far.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14978
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Dwight
Damn you.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14979
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Michael
Today is Safety Training Day. Toby is leading ours upstairs. Yeauck. But, I am giving everyone a little bit of a treat. We are going to listen in on Darryl's presentation to the warehouse. And if I know Darryl, it gonna be zoppity.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14980
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Darryl
Now, this is the forklift. You need--- You need a license to operate this machine. That means the upstairs office workers
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14981
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Michael
Hmm.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14982
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Darryl
Should you drive the forklift?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14983
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Michael
I can, and I have.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14984
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Darryl
No! No no no no no! I said
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14985
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Lonny
You're not allowed to drive the forklift.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14986
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Darryl
It's not safe, you don't have a license.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14987
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Michael
Guys, I'm not the only one who's driven the forklift. Pudge has driven the forklift.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14988
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Madge
Madge.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14989
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Michael
I thought your name was Pudge?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14990
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Madge
No, it's always been Madge.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14991
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Michael
Okay. Um, her.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14992
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Darryl
Her. Yes, 'her' is qualified to work a dangerous machine. You are not. Okay?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14993
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Michael
Ah, fine.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14994
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Darryl
Do you understand that?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14995
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Michael
Yeeesh.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14996
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Darryl
We do safety training every year, or after an accident. ... We've never made it a full year. This particular time, I was reaching for a supply box on the top shelf, when one office worker, who shall remain nameless, kicked the ladder out from under me and yelled...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14997
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Michael
'Hey Darryl, how's it hangin'?!'
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14998
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Darryl
And I fell and busted my ankle. I'm legitimately scared for my workers.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 14999
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Darryl
The baler can flatten a car engine. It can cut off your arm and crush your entire body without skipping a beat.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15000
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Dwight
Yeah!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15001
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Andy
It's on!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15002
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Darryl
How many people a year do you think get their arms cut off in a baler?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15003
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Michael
Bail'er? I hardly know her.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15004
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Lonny
Dammit, Michael. Pay attention, man.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15005
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Darryl
Anybody wanna take a guess? Anybody?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15006
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Kevin
Five bucks says it's over 50.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15007
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Jim
You really wanna bet?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15008
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Darryl
Anybody?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15009
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Kevin
Ever since March Madness ended, I am so bored.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15010
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Guy
How many?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15011
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Jim
Ok, you're on.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15012
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Darryl
Ten people, Michael. Ten people. Would you like to be one of them?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15013
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Kevin
Damn...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15014
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Darryl
You have to be alert, and calm. And always careful...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15015
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Jim
No, don't worry about it. We'll just got double or nothin'.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15016
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Kevin
On what?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15017
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Jim
I don't know, we'll figure somethin' out.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15018
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Kevin
Nice.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15019
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Oscar
What are you guys talkin' about?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15020
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Darryl
These are very dangerous machines down here, and the upstairs workers,
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15021
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Michael
Yes, yes. But it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world... if somebody...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15022
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Darryl
It would be the worst thing in the world! It would! Very much so.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15023
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Lonny
What the
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15024
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Michael
It's a big red trash compactor!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15025
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Lonny
What are you---
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15026
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Darryl
It's not a trash compactor! It's a baler!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15027
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Lonny
Don't disrespect the baler!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15028
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Michael
Okay, okay! I got it. I got it. ... Only on the rarest of occasions...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15029
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Darryl
No do not touch it!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15030
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Michael
...would I go near---
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15031
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Darryl
There is no occasion for you to go near this stuff, okay?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15032
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Michael
Toby now has the floor... and he is going to try not to screw this up, like everything else in his life. Let me rephrase that. I believe that you can do safety training and make it sound just as good as Darryl. Here we go!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15033
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Toby
Ok, um, one thing that you're gonna want to look out for is carpal tunnel syndrome. It's recommended that you take a ten minute break from typing every hour. For your circulation, you're gonna want to get up out of your chairs and uh, and move around about ten minutes every hour.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15034
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Michael
Yes, good. Fine. Like stretching and...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15035
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Toby
Um, yeah. You're computer screen can be a big strain on your eyes, so uh, it's also recommended that you step away for about... about ten minutes every hour.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15036
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Michael
Wow, that is... that time really adds up. That's like... a half an hour, every hour?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15037
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Darryl
Take them at the same time.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15038
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Michael
Ok, you know what? You're making it sound kind of lame. So, skip ahead to the really dangerous stuff. Like sometimes computers can explode, can they not?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15039
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Toby
No, no. Um, you always want to keep a sweater or cardigan of some sort, in case it gets drafty.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15040
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Ryan
What about a long sleeve T?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15041
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Toby
Well, that'll work.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15042
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Kevin
Long johns? A shaw?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15043
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Toby
You know, anything that warms you.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15044
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Michael
Ok, you know what? I think that everybody is going to vomit due to boredom. Sorry, he is very lame. Um, let's see. 'Seasonal affective disorder! A depression that includes weight gain, fatigue, irritability, brought on by the low light of winter.'
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15045
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Darryl
Thank God we only had a baler to deal with.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15046
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Lonny
Yeah, that dim light is a bitch, ain't it?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15047
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Michael
Ok guys, you know what? I didn't--- I didn't interrupt when you were having your presentation.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15048
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Darryl
Actually, you did.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15049
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Michael
Yes. Okay, let's do another one. This is a good one. 'A particular concern for office workers is a sedimentary life style, which can contribute---'
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15050
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Toby
Sedentary.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15051
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Michael
Yes. 'Which can contribute to heart disease.' Heart disease kills more people that balers.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15052
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Lonny
That's called having a fat butt, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15053
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Michael
Mmmm, no, no, it's... sedentary...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15054
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Lonny
Yeah, yeah. That's, that's fat butt disease. That's what you suffer from?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15055