Every line from The Office season 3, episode 19, in script order. First aired April 12, 2007.
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Michael
No.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15056
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Lonny
Fat butt disease, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15057
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Kelly
Excuse me, sea monster, you weigh like a thousand pounds.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15058
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Lonny
Yeah? I bet you'd like to swim with this sea monster, wouldn't you?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15059
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Kelly
Ryan?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15060
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Lonny
Dude, tell your girl to shut up.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15061
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Kelly
What?!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15062
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Ryan
Kelly, you insulted the gentleman. Please apologize.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15063
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Kelly
Are you kidding me?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15064
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Darryl
Alright, we outta here.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15065
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Michael
Darryl, I did not walk out in the middle of yours. So, I---
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15066
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Lonny
Yeah, but ours was real, Michael.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15067
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Darryl
That's what I've been trying to tell you, Mike. It's serious down there. We do dangerous stuff, man. This is shenanigans, foolishness, Nerf-ball. You live a sweet, little, Nerf-y life. Sittin' on your biscuit. Never havin' to risk it.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15068
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Michael
Okay. ... What, Nerf isn't cool anymore?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15069
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Michael
Darryl thinks he is such a man because he works in a warehouse. I worked in a warehouse. Men's Warehouse. I was a greeter. I'd like to see Darryl greet people. Probably make 'em feel like wimps. Not me, I... 'Hello, I'm Michael. Welcome to Men's Warehouse. We have a special on khaki pants today.' ... This is one example.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15070
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Kevin
Ten.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15071
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Oscar
Really, ten? That's your guess? You're a professional accountant.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15072
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Jim
There's like ten green ones.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15073
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Oscar
Forty-two.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15074
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Jim
I'm gonna say fifty.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15075
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Karen
Fifty-one.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15076
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Jim
Oh, don't be that person.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15077
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Kevin
That is lame.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15078
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Karen
It's a strategy!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15079
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Pam
It's called being smart.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15080
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Karen
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15081
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Kevin
Oh, geeze.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15082
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Pam
I don't know how the whole betting thing started, but it's fun.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15083
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Pam
Ten...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15084
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Jim
Kev's out.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15085
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Kevin
Damn it.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15086
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Pam
47, 48, 49! Jim wins!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15087
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Everyone
Oooh!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15088
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Kevin
That is not fair. He has spent hours up here at reception with you.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15089
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Jim
Okay, okay.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15090
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Kevin
No, constantly. Like, for
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15091
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Jim
Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15092
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Michael
Pam, depression is as scary as a baler, right?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15093
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Pam
I don't understand the question.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15094
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Michael
Working in an office can lead to depression. Which can lead to suicide. I mean this is really serious stuff.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15095
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Pam
Yeah...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15096
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Michael
I--- I--- Nobody commits suicide because they work with a baler, and yet those guys are makin' fun of me, calling me a Nerf, that...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15097
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Pam
It's really hard to demonstrate depression. Their safety training had visuals.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15098
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Michael
Yeah... you are... ah, so right. They had visual aids. And all we had were the facts. You don't go to the science museum and get handed a pamphlet on electricity. You go to the science museum and you put your hand on a metal ball, your hair sticks up straight... and you know science.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15099
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Pam
So, you're okay?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15100
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Michael
Indubitably.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15101
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Michael
They use props. They use visual aids, and they just made us look like dopes.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15102
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Dwight
Idiots! God, what are we gonna do!?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15103
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Michael
I don't know, I don't know. Because you know what our killer is? Depression---
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15104
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Dwight
Wolves.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15105
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Michael
Nn--- Depression.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15106
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Dwight
Visual aids.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15107
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Michael
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15108
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Dwight
A quilt. Depression quilt?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15109
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Michael
No time to sew a quilt. ... I got it. Give me the number for the Giant Big Box Toy Store.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15110
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Michael
You may be asking yourself, 'What am I doing on a trampoline?' Well, I thought I'd bounce here for a while, relieve some stress, and then move on with my day. Not! Here's the plan. Dwight, is going to gather all of the office workers and all of the warehouse guys, we're going to have another safety seminar. Only this time, where's Michael? Oh my God! He is on the roof! Now I have got their attention. I... tell them, about the cold hard facts of depression. And then I say, 'Hey! You ever seen a suicide?' And I jump. And they freak out. And they get to see... the dangers of depression with their own eyes. Nice side note: They might think 'Hey, I should have been nicer to Michael.' But that's... not why I'm doing this... Then, I land on the trampoline, take a couple extra bounces for fun. I climb off, walk around the corner... Ta-freakin'-da!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15111
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Kelly
So then the next movie moves to the top of the queue. So number five becomes number four, number six becomes number five,number three becomes number two, etc, etc. And let's just say that I just sent back
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15112
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Ryan
I guess I forgot.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15113
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Kelly
You're such a ditz.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15114
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Kevin
Ryan, well done. Two minutes, forty-two seconds. Additionally, Pam, you win ten because she said 'awesome' 12 times, and Jim, you win five because she mentioned six romantic comedies.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15115
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Dwight
Okay, let's do this thing! I'll go summon the troops!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15116
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Michael
Maybe we should test it first. Letterman-style. Throw a TV over, or...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15117
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Dwight
We measured it once...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15118
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Michael
Go buy some watermelons.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15119
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Dwight
Seedless?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15120
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Michael
Just...
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15121
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Toby
Creed is eating an apple. I found a potato.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15122
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Pam
Hey Creed.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15123
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Creed
Hey!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15124
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Pam
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15125
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Creed
Hello.[Creed takes a bite of the potato]
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15126
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Pam
Yes!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15127
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Kevin
Here you go.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15128
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Toby
Nice.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15129
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Karen
I don't know this place as well as I thought I did. I'm getting cleaned out.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15130
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Dwight
Ready?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15131
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Michael
Let's do it! Drop that sucker.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15132
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Dwight
[drops watermelon, watermelon bounces off trampoline, onto a car, bursts, car alarm sounds]
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15133
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Michael
BINGO! WHOA WHOA WHOA! Oh... crap. Deactivate the car alarm. Clean up the mess.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15134
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Dwight
Okay.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15135
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Michael
Find out whose car that is. If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15136
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Dwight
Got it.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15137
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Michael
Also, take apart the trampoline, stick it in the baler.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15138
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Dwight
We're not allowed to use the baler.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15139
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Michael
Have Pa--adge do it, or... the sea monster.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15140
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Dwight
I'm on it!
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15141
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Dwight
I'm temporarily lifting the shun.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15142
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Andy
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15143
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Dwight
It means nothing. I need you to do something for me.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15144
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Andy
Anything.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15145
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Dwight
Okay, calm down. I need you to acquire an inflatable house, and/or castle.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15146
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Andy
You mean a moon bounce.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15147
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Dwight
What do you think? You've got an hour.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15148
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Andy
I'm gonna need... I'm gonna need petty cash.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15149
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Dwight
Shunning resumed.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15150
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Andy
Do you, do you want a drawbridge?
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15151
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Dwight
Un-shun. Yeah that sounds good. Re-shun.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15152
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Dwight
Oh yeah, this is much better. Safer. Excellent decision.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15153
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Michael
Yes, thank you for seeing that.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15154
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Dwight
When you land, try and land like an eight year-old. These bouncy castles are not designed for adults.
Season 3 · Episode 19 · Line 15155