Every line from The Office season 3, episode 17, in script order. First aired February 22, 2007.
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Michael
Can you confirm that the straps are tight?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14260
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Dwight
Yes. But this seems to be...
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14261
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Michael
And now, the chains.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14262
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Michael
A lot of people think that magic camp is just for kids. And that's why so many other people in my class were kids. Self fulfilling prophecy. It's um, it's really for anybody with a dream and a belief in magic and a little extra time after school.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14263
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Michael
MAGIC MAGIC Magic Magic magic magic... And now, Michael the Magic, will attempt to escape from extreme bondage. Can he do it? I don't see how he can.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14264
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Dwight
I know how. Dislocate his shoulder and slip his arm out from underneath.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14265
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Michael
No. No. Everyone, now count down with me. THREE!
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14266
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Jim
Sorry, quick thing. Is it true that if you can't get out, you don't want anyone to help you?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14267
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Michael
I will get out. Oh yes, I will.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14268
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Pam
So we shouldn't help you, no matter how much you might beg and plead?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14269
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Michael
No. Alright, this is getting hot. So let's just do this. Ok, ready? Three, two, one, go.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14270
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Michael
AHHHH!
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14271
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Kevin
Is everything ok, Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14272
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Michael
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14273
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Michael
I cannot tell you how I plan to escape. Other than by using magic. That is the magician's code. Separately, on an unrelated note, if you happen to find a small brass key...
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14274
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Michael
Alright.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14275
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Dwight
[trumpet sounds]
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14276
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Michael
Ready? Come on guys. Early worm gets the worm.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14277
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Jim
Another worm? Like, are they friends?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14278
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Dwight
It's early bird gets the worm.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14279
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Michael
Pam, would you smell my breath?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14280
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Pam
No, no.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14281
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Dwight
Let me smell. Good, not great.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14282
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Michael
Michael, you go to parties all the time, why is tonight so special?' Well, tonight is so special because my boss's boss's boss, the CFO, not his initials, common mistake, is having a little shindig for all the managers in the company. And Jan and I are going as a couple. For the first time. So it's kind of our coming out party. Really. And that is why tonight is so special.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14283
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Michael
Jimbo, last chance to carpool.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14284
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Jim
Oh no thanks, I think Karen and I will take my car.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14285
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Michael
Sure? Might be a good idea.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14286
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14287
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Michael
Go in together, could save some gas, have some fun, long trip.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14288
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Jim
Thanks.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14289
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Michael
Play some games?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14290
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Jim
Oh. Um. I think we're good.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14291
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Michael
I spy?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14292
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Jim
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14293
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Jim
Why don't I wanna go? Didn't expect to need a reason, so let me think here. Um. I don't know any of these people. It's an obligation. I don't like talking paper in my free time, or in my work time. And, did I use the word pointless?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14294
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Dwight
Thanks for inviting me along.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14295
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Michael
Oh, sure. Really didn't give it any thought. Wait, should you be going? Heh-woh you.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14296
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Jan
Michael?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14297
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Michael
Hey, Buttercup.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14298
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Jan
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14299
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Michael
I am on my way. I should be there in about 15...
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14300
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Jan
Let's just blow this party off.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14301
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Michael
That's what she said.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14302
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Jan
Am I on speaker phone?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14303
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Michael
Uh, yes you are.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14304
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Jan
Is anybody else in the...
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14305
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Dwight
Hello, Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14306
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Jan
Hi, Dwight. Ok, Michael, take me off speaker phone.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14307
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Michael
No problem.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14308
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Jan
Ok. Let's just go to a motel...
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14309
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Michael
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14310
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Jan
...and just like rip into each other like we did on that black sand beach in Jamaica.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14311
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Michael
Ok. Jan. Jan? This party is actually a really big step for us. So, I...
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14312
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Jan
Still on speaker?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14313
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Michael
Ummm... I don't know.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14314
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Jan
Are camera's there?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14315
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Michael
Maybe.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14316
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Jan
See you soon.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14317
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Michael
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14318
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Dwight
Talk to you later, Jan.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14319
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Michael
Alright. Bye.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14320
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Pam
Hey, Michael left early, so a bunch of us are going to go to Poor Richard's for happy hour. You should come.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14321
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Roy
I can't. My brother, he just unloaded the jet ski's and kinda took a bath, so... we're going to go get hammered.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14322
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Pam
Ok, well, we're going to a bar. Hey. You have to come to stuff with me. I'm serious! If you're going to be my boyfriend, you have to do boyfriend things.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14323
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Roy
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14324
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Pam
I have decided that I'm going to be more honest. I'm going to tell people what I want. Directly. So, look out world, cause ol' Pammy is getting what she wants. And, don't call me Pammy.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14325
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Michael
Beauty. Thank you sir!
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14326
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Dwight
Salad.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14327
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Michael
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14328
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Dwight
You dressed exactly like the servants.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14329
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Michael
Shut up. Ok, change shirts with me.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14330
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Dwight
Wait. I don't think yours will fit me.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14331
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Michael
I don't care. Oh, wow. Here. Don't put my jacket. Don't give me that.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14332
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Dwight
That would have been really embarrassing.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14333
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Michael
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14334
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Dwight
Crisis averted.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14335
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Michael
Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14336
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Pam
Oh, that duck is so cute.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14337
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Kevin
Hey Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14338
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Pam
Hey guys.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14339
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Kevin
Oscar. Angela.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14340
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Michael
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14341
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Michael
Actually, it's polite to arrive early. And smart. Only really good friends show up early. Ergo de facto. Go to a party really early. Become a really good friend.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14342
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Michael
Oh, um, potato salad.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14343
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Dwight
It's from both of us.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14344
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Michael
No, it's not.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14345
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Rachel
Wonderful, let's, ah, see where we can put this. Ok.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14346
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Michael
Oh, you probably want to leave the cover on until the guests get here.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14347
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Michael
It's been sitting in my car all day. Sun beating down on the mayonnaise. Just, you never know.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14348
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Pam
Kevin, you and Stacy set a date yet?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14349
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Kevin
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14350
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Kelly
Oh my God, when is it?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14351
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Kevin
It's complicated. I would appreciate some space on this.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14352
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Roy
Hey.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14353
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Pam
Hey. You made it.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14354
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Roy
You said it was important, so... How's it going?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14355
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Kenny
What's up, Pam.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14356
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Pam
Hey Kenny, sorry about the jet skis.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14357
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Roy
You guys, uh, want a round, on me?
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14358
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Everyone
Yeah.
Season 3 · Episode 17 · Line 14359