Every line from The Office season 3, episode 12, in script order. First aired January 11, 2007.
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Michael
Let's go. The men's room was disgusting.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13197
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Jim
After you sir.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13198
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Dwight
No thank you, I never let anyone walk behind me. Seven out of ten attacks are from the rear.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13199
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Jim
Ok, well, that still leaves a 30% chance that I will attack you from the front.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13200
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Dwight
Uh, yeah, but it will be easier to stop. I can always block the blow. I can counter it with...
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13201
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Pam
Angela, you seem so happy. I bet you wish you were like this all the time.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13202
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Angela
This friend of mine - let's call her Noelle - she missed this deadline turning something in to Corporate in New York. But then this gallant gentleman - we'll call him Kurt - he drove all the way to New York and handed it in for her. That's... I don't know. I guess he really just likes her a lot.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13203
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Pam
That's great.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13204
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Angela
Yes, it is. Hello?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13205
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Michael
Hey, did you catch that up at Lake Wallenpaupack?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13206
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Buyer
Yep.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13207
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Michael
You know, I used to go up there all the time with my step-dad, and I never caught anything that big.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13208
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Andy
Caught an eighty-pound shark off of Montauk. It's in the Hamptons. My dad's got a 42-ft Bayliner. Sniped it with a rifle from the crow's nest. Also shot a deer once.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13209
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Michael
You know what? Let's get right down to it. Dunder-Mifflin may be just two rooms and a warehouse, but what we lack in flash, we will make up for with hardwork and decency.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13210
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Andy
Ok, this is the classic undersell because you should know we don't work out of a log cabin. We trade on the New York Stock Exchange. Ever heard of it? It's in New York.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13211
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Buyer
Uh, I have to say I am a little wary with getting involved with a big company. We've had some problems in the past.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13212
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Michael
I think what Andy is trying to express is that while we have the resources of a large company, we will give you the care and attention of a small company.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13213
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Andy
Oh, man, that is, like, poetry.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13214
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Michael
No.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13215
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Andy
I swear, this guy could sell paper to a tree.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13216
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Michael
Stop it. Stop it.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13217
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Andy
Ow.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13218
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Pam
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam. This is Pam. I did?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13219
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Andy
Oh man. Talk about your classic 'Lame dash O.' Do we even want that guy buying our paper?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13220
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Michael
Yes.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13221
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Andy
I... I'm so sorry man. I really screwed that up.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13222
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Michael
Ah, no. Don't worry about it.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13223
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Andy
I really 'Schruted' it.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13224
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Michael
What?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13225
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Andy
Schruted' it. It's just this thing that people say around your office all the time. Like, when you screw something up in a really irreversible way, you 'Schruted' it. I don't know where it comes from though. Do you think it comes from Dwight Schrute?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13226
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Michael
I don't know. Who knows how words are formed.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13227
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Phyllis
It's a big order. Thanks Kenny.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13228
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Karen
Yeah, thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13229
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Phyllis
Hey, how's Annie?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13230
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Kenny
Oh, she's great. This is us last year in Bermuda. Lovely place. You ever been to Bermuda?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13231
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Julius
Stanley Hudson.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13232
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Stanley
Ah, Julius, how's it goin'?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13233
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Julius
Great, great, great.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13234
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Guy
Stanley.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13235
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Stanley
So good to see you too. I'd like you fellas to meet Ryan Howard.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13236
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Ryan
Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13237
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Stanley
I'm gonna let Ryan do a little pitch for you while I do my crossword. Ryan?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13238
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Ryan
Um... Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13239
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Julius
Hello, Ryan. What do you have for us?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13240
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Ryan
Oh...
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13241
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Jim
We can offer our biggest discounts on 30% recycled and ultra-premium laser.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13242
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Man
Kay. 'Kay.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13243
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Dwight
Can I use your phone?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13244
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Man
Yeah, sure, go ahead.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13245
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Dwight
Thanks.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13246
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Jim
Let me talk to you about a few of the other things we can offer. Namely, we know the tax season is coming up, so by April 1st we can have you fully stocked.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13247
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Dwight
One...
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13248
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Jim
We have discount prices on ink cartridges...
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13249
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Dwight
Three...
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13250
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Jim
And, also, any forms that you are going to need...
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13251
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Dwight
Seven...
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13252
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Jim
We can custom make them.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13253
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Pam
Yeah I did a watercolor of Frances Willard Elementary School for a contest they were having. They were calling with the results. And I won. I won! My painting won. So I like to thank my mom for always encouraging me. And I like to thank my dad for buying me my first set of art pencils. And I'd like to thank the sixth grade class that picked me.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13254
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Pam
Hey Kev, guess what. I won an art contest today.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13255
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Kevin
How much did you win?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13256
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Pam
$100.00
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13257
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Kevin
I won $400 bucks on the Celtics game last night.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13258
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Pam
Cool. Congratulations.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13259
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Kevin
Thanks, so sweet.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13260
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Stanley
Ha ha ha! And you just said, 'Hi! Hi! Hi!' Ha heh ha! You sounded like my niece, and she's six months old!
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13261
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Man
We'll I appreciate what you guys are saying but it, uh, makes more fiscal sense to go with one of the big guys.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13262
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Dwight
Sure.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13263
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Jim
Sure, that's true we can't compete with their prices. But let me ask you something. How important to you is customer service?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13264
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Man
It's very.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13265
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Phone
Please keep holding, your call is very important to us.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13266
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Dwight
Erm, that's one of the 'Big guys.' Been on hold this whole time.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13267
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Jim
And this is Dunder-Mifflin.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13268
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Kelly
Dunder-Mifflin customer service, this is Kelly.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13269
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Jim
Hey, Kelly, it's Jim.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13270
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Kelly
Oh my god, Jim. How are you ? I wanted to tell you ... .
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13271
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Dwight
Here is my card. It's got my Cell number, my pager number, my home number, and my other pager number. I never take vacations, I never get sick, and I don't celebrate any major holidays.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13272
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Man
All right, I get it. We got a deal.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13273
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Jim
Thanks.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13274
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Pam
Hey, Angela. I got good news today too. I won an art contest.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13275
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Angela
That's great Pam. I like having these little moments with you. You know what? Sprinkles recently had kittens.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13276
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Pam
Oh.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13277
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Angela
I would like to offer you the dominant male. His name is Ash.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13278
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Pam
Oh?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13279
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Angela
Mmm-hmm.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13280
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Pam
Hmm. I don't think so. But thanks. My building manager... is... You understand.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13281
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Angela
Well then. Have a nice day.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13282
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Karen
Thanks. That was fun.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13283
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Phyllis
Yeah, I really enjoy spending time with you. You are a very nice person.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13284
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Karen
Thank you.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13285
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Phyllis
I'm so glad you're with Jim. He was hung up on Pam for such a long time. Never thought he would get over her.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13286
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Karen
That's nice.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13287
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Phyllis
You can pay me back later for the makeover.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13288
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Andy
Hey boss. Got a minute?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13289
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Michael
Yes, Andy.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13290
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Andy
I forget, why did Dwight say he was late this morning?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13291
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Michael
He didn't say.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13292
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Andy
That's weird. Because I was just walking past his desk and I saw this, which is a tollbooth receipt from New York City, stamped really early this morning. So, why would Dwight go to New York without telling anyone? Do you think he went to see Jan? That's not like him. Is it? Someone told me a story about this, with, like, laundry and betrayal. Did you betray Dwight and try to steal his job or something?
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13293
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Michael
No, you are remembering it wrong.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13294
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Michael
Dwight betrayed me once before. So this is his strike two. You know what they say? Fool me once, strike one. But fool me twice, strike three.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13295
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Dwight
I like Karen. She's pretty and appears intelligent.
Season 3 · Episode 12 · Line 13296